DOCTOR BITCHCRAFT

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

Egyptians continue to be hilarious

[ID: excerpt from an article reading: One of my favorite stories, which should drive anyone who has every played in a band crazy-- there’s this bassoon player who has sat next to the same clarinet player since 1988. She’s convinced he plays half a note4 flat on every note he’s every played. He denies this. /]

This is one of your worst posts yet man

You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock

Being in a group chat with a bunch of mentally ill girls who suck at taking care of ourselves is really funny. We’ll constantly be giving each other advice like “hey you should probably eat something” “have you taken your meds today?” “if you’re not feeling well maybe you should get some sleep” and stuff like that and then none of us have the self awareness and self respect to take the advice we give each other until we we hear it from someone else

in heaven, each one feeds the girlie next to her

the modelo

mozzarella and parmesan is kind of like the age gap yuri of cheese

They literally can't tag themselves. That's what the scientists are for

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real