All credits to me 🥹

Intro ::

Picking a name or surname that you like but not like you'd give it to your child, you must want to wear this name and people calling you by it for the rest of your life.

Two Methods

+ Alternatives methods

+ Ressources and tips

Ressources ::

- Any dictionary of your native language.

- [Behind The Name] (the best so far, great filters)

- Any baby names website of your desires culture and language.

— Search up "baby names ideas" in your native language, edit it at your leisure (ex. baby girl names with 美)

- [The Bump Baby Name Generator] (good filters)

- [Baybi.co] (surname is required, good filters) [AI]

- [Baybi.co Ensure You Have The Perfect Name] (fun to try) [AI]

- [Babynames.com] (easy to use but can be confusing)

- [Name berry baby name quiz] (fun quiz that can at least help you know what kind of names you life, too centered on westerns names tho)

- [forebears.io] (large datas and extremely good)

１ Method ::

Take a deep breath and/or meditate for a bit and now let a name "come to you", this is how connection and destiny work.

Now imagine people calling you that, do you like it ? Do you want people to call you that name ? Can you imagine people calling you that for the rest of your life and growing up with ? Do you feel something when you imagine someone calling you by this name ?

If OK then you got yours congrats! You can also retry.

Now LOOK AT THE MEANING and boom you got your pretty name with the prettiest meaning.

２ Method ::

Think about story of your life, the story of your future or maybe past life (the one that you want to leave behind or the spiritual one hehe) or adjectives you'd describe yourself as and look up similar to same meaning in your desired language.

Something that is meaningful to you and your person, to whatever story you have or never had.

Make sure to check if it's an actual name, carrying an unique name or one labeled as "weird or forbidden" can be hard.

Alternatives Methods ::

Methods I've seen used by other esu and in general people, may this inspire you.

If indecisive these tricks could also help you as you would like to make a list of the names you're already thinking of.

— Ask your parents or family to pick a name in your desired language, this is like a rebirth !

— Ask your parents or family which name they'd have given you if you were from this culture or different gender.

— Search up the top 100 or 50 most popular names with meaning the year/decade/era you were born or during your time in the belly of your mother.

— Research about fairytales and folklore stories in your desired culture and name yourself after your favourite character in it.

— You may honor your younger self and choose the name of their favourite character, person, thing, place, OC or simply name !

— Research about your culture's tradition of name giving, it may be crucial and new knowledge is fun!

— Think about the name you always wanted simply, it can start with a letter or character you like already !

— If you're religious, search up a figure in your beliefs that you like the story of or the name.

— In general, search up any figure (can be historical or fictional) from your culture or that you appreciate regardless of the culture and invest yourself into their story or name.

— Name yourself after someone from your family or ancestors from your culture.

- Find a name that is still lovely to the ear paired with your surname.

- Choose a name depending on the vibe you want to give of, your ambitions in life or the ambitions the person who named you has on you, the initials you already like or preferred nicknames !

Additional tips ::

— REMEMBER TO ALWAYS ALWAYS LOOK UP FOR MEANING!!!! DON'T FORGET THIS PART, for some of the methods I listed it's CRUCIAL, you don't want to have a goofy name and be mocked upon.

— It's okay to have a name that don't originate from your culture/language, it is very common and you shouldn't feel forced to have a traditional name if you prefer western names.

— If you are mixed, you don't need a name for each of your cultures. Just as many as you want is okay, it's not because your middle name isn't from this culture that you are disconnected to it ❕

— You can choose multiples names at once and it's also very common, I mean not too much through unless you're a monarch❔

You just need to be okay with the fact that it'd be your name for the rest of your life so you gotta choose wisely !

And lastly please don't rush, you seriously have time, you are still young, the time will carry your wise and desireful experience.

CLOTHES

T-SHIRTS Though it might be more comfortable to wear baggy t-shirts to hide your chest, don't go too baggy. In my opinion, it looks a bit sloppy when wearing shorts that are ten sizes too big, and it honestly makes your breasts look bigger than they are. I'd recommend wearing shirts that are a couple sizes over yours when not binding, and your size when binding.

PANTS Pants are essential! I'd recommend wearing cargo pants that fit you well but don't hug too much. When getting jeans, get straight or standard cut. They don't hug the thighs too much, and they're nice and movable. In shorts, they're pretty basic; just make sure the waist size is right.

GLASSES If you wear glasses and need a new frame, go for circles and rectangles.

BINDERS Try to avoid zip-up binders. They break easily and can get expensive. Get the binder that's the right size for you; going a size too small is NOT worth it, it can damage the rib structure and/or breast tissue. Don't bind for more than 8 hours a day, don't bind while exercising, and don't bind while sleeping.

HYGENE

For deodorant, I'd recommend brands like Old Spice or Degree; you can play around with the scents if you want.

Cologne is kinda the same; I personally like Nautica.

Toothpaste can be whatever; I go for a mint flavor/scent.

Soap is the same; aim for ocean or woody scents (I use Native's 'Sea and Cedar' body wash.)

Shampoo is just shampoo; I use Head and Shoulders's 2-in-1

MANNERISMS

Try deepening your voice with the help of online vocal coaching. It takes time, but totally worth it!

Try practicing a firm handshake with a friend, as well as practicing eye contact.

When sitting or lying down, sit with your knees at shoulder-width or an arm around the back of the chair; taking up space promotes a more masculine figure.

---

LINKS

(I have tested the links; all products work as advertised)

Voice Masculinization

Voice Masculinization

Chest Binder

Full Body Binder

Chest Binder

How to Bind Safely

my YouTube findings (can apply to other gender identities!!!)

https://youtu.be/RCjBBEjHcks?si=h0_scVrFPYgr4WTP this was rly good and gives examples of how to explore your gender identity w/o going in full drive immediately (he talks abt a lot of helpful stuff and clears things up)

https://youtu.be/T4LHezmUYC4?si=y7VdlEgf2RCC02LQ Binding tips, shows how a shirt might sit on your body, and shows w a binder, sports bra, and bralette

https://youtu.be/qnwOm4RWhhQ?si=bVIyaWqeiyQtEZrA Gives some good advice on somethings that can help, but is also a little less accessable for some people, like for me I can't pluck my eyebrows or dye my peach fuzz, but its some solid advice

This official page from the California Department of Insurance states "health insurance policies are prohibited from arbitrarily excluding coverage for gender affirmation services including (but not limited to) hormone therapy, mental health services and surgical services."

Now this one is a tricky one, and it's a situation almost every trans person has to go through at some point in their life, unless they stay in the closet for life, but if you're planning to come out, and you don't know how to approach the situation and don't know how to judge if it's safe, I hope I can be a reliable guide for you on this journey.

This is usually the first step in any trans person's journey, before they physically transition, (which some don't as well). However here we're talking specifically about trans men.

So while some of the things I say could apply to trans women, always remember I'm writing about trans men from a trans man's point of view, so that's the targeted demographic here.

Once I learn more about trans women's struggles and things they go through, since I don't have the personal experience of it, I will definitely write trans women articles as well, and as well non-binary people.

So let's begin, with a list of important things to keep in mind whilst coming out to the world or at least to your family and close friends.

1. Safety is everything.

Always no matter what.

A good way to test if someone is going to be safe to come out to, is to casually bring it up in in a conversation topic, something like "What are your thoughts on lgbtq people, or specifically what are your thoughts on trans people?"

If they become aggressive and violent about it, and start being transphobic or defensive or any of the signs of bigotry, do not and I mean do not come out to them yet.

If it's a parent, I'd suggest at least wait until you're of age to move out, or have moved out, to come out to them. Sometimes people will get verbally and physically violent towards you if you come out to them and they're not accepting of it, so the most important thing is to always judge the reactions of people, and if they react well, then you can come out to them.

2. Always choose trustworthy people to keep your secret whilst you're in the closet.

There's been a lot of people who trusted idiots who they thought were their friends and they ended up outing them to the whole school they were in, etc. etc. But there was a lot of stories about this happening multiple times.

Make sure the people you tell would take the secret to their grave, especially if you're in an abusive household and can't come out for fear of violence.

3. If you're in a very abusive household, especially one that's openly homophobic and transphobic, as hard it is, please wait to come out as long as you possibly can until you have a place of your own and you're safe for sure.

A lot of people have been known to kick out their own children on to the streets because of them being LGBT, or do much worse...

Now of course these are some of the worst case scenarios, but being LGBT you always have to think about every bad thing that could occur so that you can prevent it.

4. When it comes to actually coming out, I would always recommend bringing a good friend or close family member who supports you, so that you have backup, not only for them to chime in and tell their piece and defend you, but just them being there makes the other person not want to be as violent towards you, because they fear what others will think of them.

If you're coming out to an extended family member or anyone, don't trust to do it alone, always bring a good friend.

5. One of the best ways to come out that I've seen are ways that are jokey and hilarious!

It seems to smooth over and make it a much more pleasant transition for everyone, and usually even homophobic people won't get too mad, they might even laugh!

I've seen people bake cakes with the words "Surprise I'm gay!" on it, things like that.

Just little cute things that are nice to do for your parents or people you're coming out to, but make it a surprise and that you're actually lgbt!

Now remember though, always follow the first rule and make sure safety is priority, but if you know you're safe, but you're just not sure they understand, starting out with jokes helps a lot.

6. The second step you should do after coming out is always try to explain your side of the story.

If there are people who don't let you get a word in, let them know that you have important things to say and that they need to listen to you and then they can say whatever they need.

Explain how it feels to be trans, explain why you know you're trans, of course you shouldn't have to ideally, but unfortunately a lot of people won't understand unless they're given more information, as the subject is completely foreign to them.

I know my grandma specifically reacted so well, all she did was ask me questions about it, and once I answered all her questions, she hummed in satisfaction and she never questioned it again and completely accepted me.

And a lot of times you'll get people who are pretty neutral, people who will call you by your chosen name and gender but don't really totally care as much as you want them to, but they still go along with it and just kind of assume you know what's best for you, which is a really kind thing really.

I've had a few people react neutrally and it's actually relaxing, there's no pressure put on for being gay, either over positive or over negative. but I have to say as a trans person and gay person, and grey-ace person, I love the people who ask questions the most.

I don't mind answering, and it means they're trying to learn more about something they don't understand, which means they have a huge heart and huge open mind.

Some people may get annoyed at the constant questions, but I absolutely adore them.

To me, every time someone asks about me, they're showing interest in my life and my feelings.

7. Next the scientific method.

Look up on any scientific article anywhere, and you'll find studies done on trans men and women's brains.

It was shown factually multiple times, over and over, whenever they repeated it it did it again, that trans men have the same brain structure as cis men, and trans women have the same brain structure as cis women, and non-binary people have somewhere in the middle. This was factually proven, you can look it up, so if they try to use science to defend against you, educate that that science is actually for LGBT rights and has explained how it works even.

8. Try to be gentle when it comes to pronouns.

For a lot of people, especially people of foreign languages where some languages don't have genders, or will have different genders, or other things like that, or even just English speakers that aren't used to saying 'they', or your family not being used to your pronouns yet.

It can take a while, and I know it's frustrating, it could take even a few years for them to finally get it right every time.

It's not supposed to be an attack towards you, it's genuinely hard to reprogram yourself when you think someone is one thing your whole life and then it turns out they're the other thing! So be sure to be gentle with them while they're practising, remind them every time they make a mistake, but remind them gently, as they are trying to do the right thing, they're just slipping up due to habit.

In general, be patient with non-lgbt folks, if we're mad at them, it just drives them away, rather than driving them toward us to help and assist us.

We should be grateful for our allies.

9. Once you've come out and your parents probably still have questions, I would recommend sitting down and having family night where you read together some good articles about transgenderism, and LGBT+ in general.

If they're not familiar with it, this type of education can help them a lot to understand the terminology and how to address you, and basic respect for trans & lgbtq+ people.

Overall it's a learning experience for both of you, and it would be amazing to do if they're willing to learn.

Remember that it's a journey for all of us, and everyone has a lot to learn.

10. When selecting your name, I have one piece of advice/a question for you; "Does it spark joy?"

The most important thing, it doesn't matter how odd sounding it is, or differently spelled it is, or whatever your name is, if you enjoy your name, that's what matters.

Always pick the one that calls out to you.

And it's okay to change it from time to time, people need time to figure out who they are!

And with that, I conclude my fourth part!

Wear tight shirts over binders.

I only figured this out, like, today; but, honestly, it makes such a difference if you're trying to present masculine!

Tight fitted shirts over binders are a transmasc's/AFAB's best friend.

I present this with the caveat that this might not work for everyone , but it works for me so just thought I'd share in case it helps anyone else!

Main thing I've found: let yourself be heavy. I find when I'm having to present fem for work/around transphobic family members/etc. I tend to try to stand taller/act like I'm some weightless ethereal being (because, y'know, society and afab people not being allowed to take up space :P) When I'm masc presenting, though, I let myself relax: I let some weight rest on my knees and hips, I drop my shoulders, I let my legs be looser (not like ragdoll loose, but I'm not so stiff/holding everything close to my body so I'm not taking up space.) And for standing in place, I choose one side and loop my thumb through a belt loop on the side of my pants or into an upper pants pocket and rest my weight on that hip (I tend to favor my left side but either side should work!)