#therapy tools

she was born in ~2022 and is still in a massive state. i detangle her to relax, or when i'm processing hard emotions. i love her. she is so mathematically interesting. if she is ever done being tangled i will

mourn

Ok, so I SUCK at feeling feelings. Anything not happy scares me, overwhelms me and basically makes me like, shove it deep down. I spend way too long in every therapy session trying to decide between the emotions and if I am categorizing everything correctly.

In DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy), the mind is seen as having three states: emotional, rational, and wise. Our wise mind is the ideal state that we strive to act from when making decisions, but simply getting to know the three is a great introduction to internal awareness. Above is a graphic explaining the three minds, alongside a journaling exercise. ✨

I honestly think stuff like like this is good grounding

U can smell them far away

Don’t ab/se them tho

Something that many people struggle with is emotional fluency. Emotional fluency is a persons’ ability to identify the emotions you are feeling and your ability to express them. Most adults today struggle with emotional fluency, in fact, most people found they could only identify an average of four emotions (anger, fear, happiness, disgust) in themselves. This is pretty darn limiting and leads to a stunted ability to express our feelings and emotions. So as I am learning how to improve my own fluency, I thought sharing some tools might help.

1. Method One: Picking from the list of Core emotions:

It can be helpful to start with expanding our list from four emotions to choose from into a bit more of an expansive list. Giving yourself more words to work with allows yourself to give yourself some understanding. I am using a list I was given in treatment, originally made by Berné Brown.

Core Emotions: 

Positive Emotions: Belonging, curiosity, excitement, gratitude, happiness, joy, love

Neutral Emotions: Empathy, surprise

Negative Emotions: Anger, blame, disappointment, disgust, embarrassment, fear, frustration, grief, guilt, humiliation, hurt, jealousy, judgment, lonely, overwhelmed, regret, sadness, shame, vulnerability, worried.

This may seem clunky at first but the more you allow yourself to grow familiar with each feeling word and how each one feels to use, it can help both communicating and coping with your emotions.

 2. Method Two: The Feelings Wheel

I am a huge fan of this method because it builds on the four emotions that are most easy to identify and branch out into the next layer then continue out for the most accurate word for your position. This is also useful if you prefer using the process of elimination

“I am definitely some version of scared. But it’s not…. “

The Feeling Wheel Diagram:

I have included a larger version to see it clearer and or print off to use.

Method Three: Figuring out How YOU feel.

This method is a little more abstract but can be helpful. Instead of using feeling words use images, colors, and other description words

I am feeling cold, blue and negative----> What can I do that may improve that

You can also use the descriptive words to explain what you are feeling to others, to help them and you understand your feelings about a situation or at a given time.

I hope one or more of these methods prove helpful and ease communication between you and those around you. You are strong, you are capable and deserving of recovery and compassion. Keep fighting.

“Here Comes A Thought”: How A Cartoon About Non-Binary Gay Space Rocks Taught Me Self-Regulation!

This year I fell in absolute love with Steven Universe. “Here Comes A Thought” (originally sung by Estelle & AJ Michalka) came to me like a guardian angel last week when I finished the series, and began an obsessive repetition of my favorite SU songs. When I listened to this therapeutic masterpiece on its own for the first time, the lyrics just hit differently. It’s like Rebecca Sugar wrote the perfect prescription. So a few days ago, I started to sing or hum these words whenever I felt a meltdown on its way. Works like a gem every time 💎