#actuallyborderline

I might be alive still. Haven't decided yet.

Today I feel like I am rediscovering myself. Started interacting with people again and it feels good. Dang, I'm actually kind of hilarious.

since all y'all ableists are cowards and frankly have been repulsive to me on anon I'm taking away the option. no more hiding, if you wanna come beat up this neurodivergent asshole you're gonna have to do it mask off or not at all. same goes for anons who say they care about me, go prove that you're real right now go on go on

genuinely how have i ended up in the exact same friend situation from 10 years ago. a easily-trashable pet to a fucking polycule that could not give two shits about me despite fully knowing they are the only friends I have. there's even a near-duplicate of my first fp here. anyways suicide will be a kindness when I finally do it bc i'll never be anything to anyone and have them actually be truthful about it.

the good thing is I really can cut someone off in a split second and then just disassociate about it so I’m not upset and like that’s really the best way to deal with situations I think

hate when ppl say "I'm not a mind reader" I'm not expecting you to read my mind but I am expecting you to be able to pick up on context clues u dumb bitch

the bpd urge to delete all your socials / change all your handles / change your name / shave your hair / rebuild your personality from the ground up / start smoking / get drunk / delete all your contacts / throw your phone into the ocean BC of one difficult social interaction