#relationship shit

Collaborate with your person. Talk about your desires. Your failures. Your wants. Your needs. Explore things together as a team. You can not build it alone. Success in a dynamic cannot be built one-sided. The higher your protocols are, the MORE communication and understanding are necessary.

Do you want complete and total control of another person? You damn sure better like exploring them, hearing them, serving their needs, and investigating the things they want. You also need to be ready to take responsibility when the decisions that you are making for them go badly. You wanted the responsibility. You get to rejoice and reward when things are going well. You get to communicate, discuss, take accountability, and be ready to discipline (if necessary) when things go badly.

If you are not ready to get dirty and deep in the emotional muck that is human existence, walk away. Keep it for play time. There is absolutely no fault in not wanting a full-on dynamic 24/7. It is a lot. It takes a lot. It is not a requirement. It is a privilege, not a right or expectation. Treat it like one.

Treat your person (on either side of the slash) as if they are on the same team. You are working together to create this. If you aren't working together, then reevaluation is even more important.

If you want help with any of these skills look up healthy relationship skills. Healthy communication skills. Talk to a relationship coach or sex educator (like myself). Communication, although taught, is not always taught well. If you expect great things of your partner, put in the same amount of effort.

If you want them to understand you, be aware of you, to be considerate of your feelings, sensitive when you share vulnerable emotions or desires... then do the same for them. Lead or follow by example.