#relationship vent

Everyone has left me.

I wish someone was here. I wish you were, sometimes. Not as much as I used to, but the old scars still ache sometimes. Especially at night. When the thoughts come.

I hope I move on, someday. I hope someone exists I can love the same way I did you. Someone full of such a bright emptiness as you were. Not just the work and the grey and the beige.

I hope so.

I hate to admit it I really do, but sometimes I really do hate humans. As much as I see their beauty it also pisses me off how they act sometimes. ESPECIALLY when it comes to a relationships. Another 4 dimensional being wouldn’t do this to me… another ancient being wouldn’t be hurtful like this. They wouldn’t tell me they adore me, give be 3 days of the beginning of a beautiful relationship and then just cut it off because they’re scared and bc they’re mom made them scared. Actually another being like me wouldn’t use that as an excuse or lie. We don’t go around making rash decisions if we don’t know we can follow through with them and betray the one we made a pact with. Frankly screw romantic feelings I’m just pissed off I feel lied to, betrayed, and screwed over. I’m just pissed off someone would get my hopes up just to smash it for basically no reason. No talk, no chance to actually make sense of something, nothing. And what’s worse? HUMANS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE FOR ONE ANOTHER. Humans are typically supposed to say, “I’m sorry, I hope you’re doing ok. Blah blah blah, blah fucking blah” She couldn’t even make sure I was ok? All because she thinks I’m going to steal her fucking boy that I BARELY know. I don’t want his fuck ass I just wanted to love her. And I could. For 3 days I could and then she just- tore that from me. She doesn’t owe me anything but she didn’t even give me the bare minimum. They made a TikTok afterwards. Why to evil human girls do this to me? I fall in love with them, they say they did to, then leave me to feel like a thrown out, stepped on plastic. It’s not fair. She said she saw me. Me me. The me that belongs in another dimension. The me made of light, energy, and vibrations. She said she believed me. I trusted them both with my stupid human heart. I hate it here. Everyone is cruel on accident, careless, and so unintelligent about how they go about relationships. It’s so insensible it annoys me. I’m sure we’ll be friends again. I didn’t stop loving her. But I’m not going to forget that she lied about loving me. No one who loves you leaves you feeling alone and betrayed. I know she’s probably just scared. I am too. But this is just wrong. I don’t understand how humans don’t understand that if the correct thing to do is scary, you still do it. It’s not as convoluted as they desperately want it to be. She didn’t even say sorry. Just hearted my message and left me. I’m so tired of people doing this. No matter who I look to absolutely everyone disappoints me. My family, my friends, my lovers. I trust my cat more than I do people atp. I want to go home. At least then when I mingle I might meet someone intelligent. That’s the thing. She is intelligent. She just refuses to let herself be. I get in my own way too but I still struggle to understand. I love her so much I wish she would just get herself together. She’d be so much happier. She’d shine so much brighter which is saying something because she already shines fairly bright. Idk. I’m tired of humans. I’m tired of this tiny little useless world.

In my past relationships it was always my partner who would want to break up with me so I feel kinda strange and mainly bad about being the one who wants to break up

Idk i feel kind of guilty cuz I know I made him feel bad and that deeply hurts me even tho I had every reasons to stop the relationship but it’s just complicated

I feel like I did something terrible even tho it’s normal i mean idk i guess it’s maybe cuz of empathy