#halucinations

Kaiba scowled. It shouldn’t have been a temptation in the first place. Then again, his nose shouldn’t have decided to be so damn informative. His nose had no reason, no right, to tell him if someone was healthy or nervous or if no one had been there for the past hour, and if it dared to tell him that, there must be something wrong with it, him, or both. Hell, it wouldn’t be the first time his brain had fucked up. He shouldn’t trust it, yet somehow he couldn’t convince himself not to. And, with that failure, the pang of curiosity lingered.

The second thing that gave him pause was a more practical issue: what to do with his packer. He felt naked without it, and he still had things to do and people to interact with before he went home. Even if no one else noticed, he would notice and that would be enough.  His skin crawled at the thought, and he considered placing it on the sink counter rather than in the pile. It's not like the detectives had a warrant for them anyway; he was complying to help prove his story, which the packer wouldn’t help with.

He curled his lips in thought.

At least with his binder there were health concerns to worry about. He had in the past forgotten to take the binder off after a long night working and had, upon realizing it, regretted the decision, feeling it press against his chest and constricting his breathing. Wearing it for four days straight… a shiver went down his spine. Even now he felt it press uncomfortably against his chest, so he pulled it off, accidentally creating a tear in the process. As soon as it came off, his chest and ribs adjusted to normal, but strangely being able to breath wasn’t that much of a relief. He vaguely considered putting it back on.

But, the packer and the binder were also completely unsanitary, and his disgust at keeping anything- even something as important as them- that had spent the past four days with him in the dumpster eventually won out. The smell alone was enough to give him second thoughts.

A sigh escaped Kaiba’s lips. At least, despite the years before he took blockers and the weeks at a time that Gozaburo would withhold them as punishment, his breasts were small; he could probably get through the night. But, there was a chance it could make his hospital visit later more difficult. He had carefully vetted his usual doctor to make sure that they could see past gender and hormones to any problems Kaiba needed addressing, but his usual doctor probably wasn’t up right now. He hoped that being assaulted and missing for four days would help focus the doctor’s attention, but people could be dense and frustrating. If Kaiba could get away with not dealing with them he would.

Kaiba wished that he had planned for this better when leaving a change of clothes in his room so that he could have a second packer on hand; however, he had never planned for this anyways. The clothes were for school nights that he spent at the office. He had assumed for example that he would at least have the shoes from the previous day, and now he would have to go with just his replacement socks or barefoot.

Before Kaiba could change into his new clothes, he needed to clean himself. he wandered over to the sink and just as he was about to turn the faucet on, he noticed something odd in the mirror.

His reflection was dark, as if he was cast under a deep shadow, not the diffuse shadows cast under fluorescent lights but like the shadow in the corner under the bed which obscured the details of anything down there.  On the left side of his chest, trailing down from what he guessed was the location of his heart was the darkest, and there the shade roiled like the clouds in his dream. His eyes, meanwhile, radiated a soft pale glow. The oddest part was that only his reflection was effected; the mirror showed the rest of the room as it should be.

He stared at the mirror, then down at himself.

Kaiba couldn’t say he looked how he should. His whole body was a sickly pale, except his feet which had a ring of off pink around the soles. And, on top of that he was filthy. Goop dripped down his front, where his wet shirt had stuck to his skin. He could still feel his hair cling to the right side of his face, while the rest was knotted and messed to oblivion. No, he looked absolutely horrible, barely human. But, there was nothing on his chest, and his skin was directly touched by the fluorescent light above.

He closed his eyes, counted to five, and then opened them. His reflection hadn’t changed.

“That...” As he opened his mouth he noticed another problem with his reflection: canines that were longer and sharper than they should be. He passed his tongue over his teeth. They were the right length; they were normal. “That isn’t real,” Kaiba muttered to himself.

He’d certainly had stranger hallucinations. His hallucinations were rarely pleasant, so clearly they’d draw from a nightmare, myth, and a glimpse of his attacker. And, the fact that he was still recovering from an attack meant that he shouldn’t be surprised his brain was acting up. Best to ignore it.

Sighing, he dunked his head under the sink and let it run. The process was awkward. He bumped his head against the sink twice, and he accidentally pulled his own hair as his fingers caught on tangles. But, there was also a relief as the smells from his hair started disappearing, and though Kaiba could not see the bottom of the sink bowl from this angle, he could imagine swirls of brown liquid pouring and of his hair and spiraling down the drain. He would clearly need to shower again when he got home. There was no way that this would be enough, but it was a start.

Kaiba then grabbed a mound of paper towels from the dispenser and finished cleaning. He pushed off the film from his skin, along with quite a few dead skin cells. He dug under his fingernails to get the last pieces of trash. He rubbed the blood off of the back of his hand to reveal pristine skin.

With each paper towel tossed in the trash can, Kaiba could feel the air become crisper. When he was done, he hazarded half a breath that, upon discovering its clarity, deepened to the point where he could taste the air. Kaiba found himself moving his head, testing how the air and odors shifted.

The air, for the most part, was sanitized, and solution still hung in the air. Different fumes wafted up from the floor, countertop, and mirror, but they all stung slightly. Especially the fumes from the countertop. Meanwhile, even just the smell of the soap was slippery, mostly flavorless except for a hint of vanilla. For the most part, the odors of the bathroom had been dealt with by the cleaning crew, but they hadn’t quite managed to get everything, since a faint trace of piss emanated from the far stall. Though he was fortunate to have his old clothes off him, they hadn’t stopped stinking either. Finally, he could swear he could smell Jun Liu standing guard outside the bathroom door. Old and starting to fail but still competent and powerful.

It was a lot to process. A lot to take in. Focusing too hard on it made his head hurt. Like his mind was being pummeled with detail after detail. Eventually, he was forced to lose focus and let his mind wander between the smells, strangely finding himself drawn towards those smells- even the less pleasant ones- connected with people.

However, it also felt natural. That some of the details were important, a part of a puzzle with something waiting for him at the end. Something for him to take. Like that was what he was supposed to do now.

What a ridiculous thought.

He turned his attention back to the task at hand and gathered the change of clothes that Arnold had brought down. Putting on the uniform, he mused on how none of this would have happened if he hadn’t decided to attend one of Domino’s public high schools.

In his mind, Kaiba didn’t have any reason to actually be there; he had learned nearly all of the material from Gozaburo’s tutors anyways. However, the Big Five and basically anyone else he encountered at the company had insisted that as a minor he continue his education. Even Kisara and Isono had pushed the idea, though at least they did so gently.

Still, everyone said that it would look bad for the company if he wasn’t in school. Running a major company was not something one could do as a hobby, Kaiba had retorted, so it wouldn’t it look worse if he were busy with homework. But, no, they had reminded him, how it looked didn’t actually depend on what he could and could not do, and as a minor it would look bad regardless. Everyone would assume until proven otherwise he wasn’t taking it seriously. A minor in school with good grades was an excellent student; a minor, especially one with such a dazzling future, out of school- no matter the reason- was presumed truant. If It was a lower job and he actually needed the money, the truancy may have been justified, but that wasn’t his situation and that wasn’t how people saw it.

So, here, why not continue with the tutor from before? You know, the one who worked you like a mule with barely a moment to catch your breath. Or look at this prestigious college prep school in Europe? Even if you completed your homework with time to spare, good luck getting back to corporate headquarters.  Kaiba never said this out loud but half suspected that the Big Five had suggested it to keep him busy and out of their hair.

Kaiba did not trust the Big Five one bit. They were simultaneously too loyal and not loyal enough. Hungry for power, they had easily turned on Gozaburo, the man who had brought them to the position and esteem they had now, but they also were still married to Gozaburo’s vision. Under them, the company would be the same war machine it had been under Gozaburo with a few cosmetic changes like taking marginally different projects with marginally different results. They didn’t want to change the ship or even change direction; they just wanted to be the ones at the helm, and unfortunately Kaiba had already decided to change course towards games: the bloodless battles, where the victor could claim the spoils and the loser suffer defeat without physical injury. Kaiba knew they would probably turn on him if not closely watched. He could not afford to be distracted by schoolwork.

It was Mokuba’s insistence on going to public school that inspired the compromise.

Of course he would continue his education. However, the school would be a short drive from the office. He may be bored out of his mind in class, but that gave him time to think about more important things. Kaiba couldn’t count the number of times he’d worked on his own projects right in front of the teacher, and so long as he wasn’t disruptive, did his work, and answered the teacher’s questions, the teachers learned not to care, or at least not to care too much.

This seemed to satisfy all parties involved, though some more than others. Kisara and Mokuba seemed the most pleased, and their heads seemed to fill with the bizarre notion that he might ‘get to know people his own age’ and ‘make friends’, as if he could afford to frivolously waste his time on such pursuits and as if anyone was ever in this world for anyone but themselves. At the same time, the Big Five were not happy so much as cornered into a compromise, but regardless they finally stopped pressing the issue.

It had therefore been a lucky break that he had even been in the school building let alone the classroom when Yugi Mutou had mentioned the White Dragon Necklace. Well, it had seemed like a lucky break at the time.

Kaiba finished buttoning his shirt and looked at himself in the mirror. He was still hallucinating, and in fact the shadows that obscured his skin were spilling onto his clothes. The smoke-like shadows that had been rolling out of his chest were more restrained, but the occasional wisp still poked through the fabric. It was a good thing- Kaiba conceded- that the hallucination was so blatantly impossible; the rock solid facts of the world always helped ground him. Even if he still struggled to ignore or at the very least not react to the visions, knowing they weren’t actually there was the first step.

But, however, easy this one was to deal with Kaiba never considered hallucinations a good sign. They came when he was sick, tired, and overworked. They came when he was scared that Gozaburo would lord something over him. They sometimes still came when he saw a mistake that Gozaburo would have lorded over him. They came when he failed to protect the few things he loved. They came to remind him of how powerless he was.

They came after he was attacked and left for dead. After waking up with corpses scattered around him. No, it had not been a lucky break.

The room began to bend and twist as everything that had happened came crashing down around him. People had died. He almost died. The floor appeared to crack and burst at the seems. He rubbed his neck and tried to get the image of the corpse’s ghastly lopsided stare out of his head. The walls warped further, and a fissure appeared between his feet. He closed his eyes and clutched onto the rim of the sink. He whispered, ‘This isn’t happening,’ again and again. Eventually, he opened his eyes. The room had settled down, and the floor was whole, but his reflection was still dark and wrong. He glared at his own supposedly glowing eyes.

Kaiba adjusted the shirt collar to make sure it was straight and proper. He arranged his still damp hair to look more presentable and approximate his usual cut. It was time to speak to Detective Shadi.

Kaiba went to grab the bag of dirty clothes and almost turned the door handle to leave before curiosity got the better of him. He reached down into the bag grabbed the collar of the dirty white undershirt and brought it to his nose. A quick sniff gave him all the information he needed.

It stunk. Of course it would. But, there were smells that he wasn’t expecting. There was something sweet and rich that permeated the area of the stain, yet… it was also burnt. Burnt with a side of rotten eggs. It repulsed him but in a way that was more personal than the rest of the debris. Like he knew it had been tampered with. Garbage was supposed to stink, but this stain wasn’t supposed to smell like that. It was his blood, and somebody had gone and messed it up. The ferocity of the thought scared Kaiba.

He stuffed the shirt back into the bag and opened the door.

Author’s Note: If you are wondering why I did what I did with the mirror: there are multiple versions of Vampiric lore around mirrors. One is that it is the silver lining that makes vampires have no reflection. Another is that mirrors reflect souls (of which vampires supposedly do not have). I decided to go with the later, but instead of vampires lacking a soul, their soul has been affected by the curse which shows up in the mirror. So basically I just ran with it in the complete opposite direction.