#deep healing

Take a deep breath. Let your shoulders relax. Look at the piles and choose the one that feels calm, heavy, or simply knowing.

You can get deep personal reading here 🌙

**⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ CHOICE ONE**

Hey, so maybe you're dodging that part of you that just needs to chill out, slow down, and be treated gently?

Think about it: Lately, you've probably been in hardcore survival mode.

You figured out how to just *keep going*, right? Even when you were totally wiped out, stressed, or just emotionally empty. Maybe you told yourself that if you stopped, even for a sec, everything you've worked for would just fall apart.

But guess what? This part of you isn't asking you to quit. Not at all.

It just wants you to stop living like everything's an emergency.

You might see this avoidance showing up in weird ways:

*   You feel guilty when you actually relax. Is this you?

*   You're always busy, just to avoid dealing with your feelings. Whoa there! That's not good.

*   You push through exhaustion and tell yourself it's discipline. No, sweetie, it's just exhaustion.

But deep down, there's a quiet truth: You've become more powerful than that version of yourself that had to handle everything solo.

This hidden side has some good advice about pacing yourself, doing things in a way that lasts, and respecting yourself. It doesn't want you to crash and burn – it wants you to stick around for the long haul.

Acknowledging this means admitting you don't have to *earn* rest or kindness. You're becoming someone who gets that slowing down can actually be a super strong move. Recognize?

**⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ CHOICE TWO**

Okay, so you could be avoiding the part of you that feels everything super intensely, without any walls up?

At some point, you learned that your emotions were too much. Maybe someone told you that being too open, too sensitive, or too expressive would make people misunderstand you, reject you, or just see you as too much. Ouch.

So you adapted, yeah? You became careful, observant, controlled. You figured out how to keep your feelings inside – analyze them instead of letting them out, think about them instead of just feeling them.

But that emotional intensity didn't go anywhere. It just went underground.

This hidden part of you really wants:

*   To be emotionally honest without holding back or feeling silly.

*   To say what you feel without having to explain or justify it.

*   To be with people who don't make you feel like you have to be smaller.

Avoiding this might look like:

*   Downplaying what you need.

*   Staying calm when you're actually hurting.

*   Being the strong one while feeling totally unseen.

This hidden side isn't something scary to run away from. It's just... alive. And it's not asking you to fall apart – it's asking you to stop ignoring your own feelings. Acknowledge it and it will pass as it may.

**⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ CHOICE THREE**

Alright, maybe you're avoiding the part of you that already knows what needs to change? Ever felt that?

There's this deep, clear voice inside you – it's quieter than fear, but stronger than any doubt. You just *know* when something isn't right anymore: a situation at work, a friendship, a way you've been acting.

But listening to that voice comes with a price.

*   You might disappoint people.

*   You might have to step into the unknown.

*   You might have to let go of things that felt safe before.

So, you're probably hesitating. Waiting for the perfect time. Looking for someone else to tell you what to do or ignoring everything. And you are unsure and confused and that's ok but don't ignore your inner voice.

But the problem isn't that you're confused – it's that you aren't trusting yourself.

This part of you isn't reckless. It might even be smarter than you! It's grounded, thoughtful, and patient. It knows which way you need to go.

What you're avoiding isn't the truth – it's taking responsibility for it. You're afraid of action-taking and taking that first step.

Meeting this part of yourself means accepting that clarity doesn't always feel good – but it always feels right.

**✧ Wrapping Up**

Having a shadow side doesn't mean anything's wrong with you. It just shows what's been protecting you – and what you're now ready to make a part of yourself.

Remember, these are general thoughts. Take what feels right, and leave the rest.

If these words spoke to you, feel free to share or give it a thumbs up! Thanks for spending time with yourself.

Feel free to like & reblog ♡✧˚

how to calm a nervous system that has been in survival mode for so long it forgot what peace feels like

first — this is not a character flaw. this is not anxiety as a personality trait. this is a body that learned, somewhere along the way, that the world was not safe — and has been trying to protect you ever since

the problem is it never got the memo that the danger passed

so it kept the alarm on. quietly. constantly. exhaustingly.

here is how you begin to turn it off —

— ✦ —

the body first — always the body first

you cannot think your way calm when your body is in alarm mode. the mind follows the body, not the other way around

long exhales breathe in for 4 counts - breathe out for 7 or 8 the exhale activates your parasympathetic nervous system - your body's built-in "you are safe" signal this is not just a vibe. it is physiology.

cold water on your face or wrists in the middle of a spiral - run cold water over your wrists or splash your face it signals directly to your brain: you are not in danger shockingly effective. embarrassingly simple.

slow movement a walk. gentle stretching. even just swaying side to side a dysregulated nervous system has stuck energy in it - movement lets it complete and release you are not being dramatic. you are discharging what your body never got to process

humming or singing softly this vibrates the vagus nerve - which runs directly through your body's calm-down pathway sounds strange. works beautifully.

— ✦ —

the daily practice — what builds safety over time

healing a hypervigilant nervous system is not one dramatic moment of breakthrough - it is a hundred small moments of choosing to register safety instead of scanning for threat

notice small safe moments — out loud, on purpose "right now I am okay. right now I am warm. right now nothing is wrong." your nervous system needs repetition to update its baseline it learned fear through repetition - it unlearns it the same way

reduce stimulation deliberately less doom scrolling. less noise. less rushing from one thing to the next a hypervigilant system is already overwhelmed - stop adding to the load quiet is not boring. quiet is medicine.

rest without guilt a dysregulated body is a depleted body sleep is not laziness. stillness is not wasted time you are not behind. you are healing.

spend time in nature trees, open sky, moving water the nervous system responds to natural environments in a way it simply does not respond to screens and fluorescent lights even twenty minutes outside can shift something real

— ✦ —

the deeper work - where the root actually is

the surface stuff helps. but lasting change usually asks you to go a little deeper

somatic therapy or trauma-informed therapy a hypervigilant nervous system almost always has a history behind it a good therapist does not just help you talk about what happened - they help your body finally finish processing what it stored this is the most effective long-term path. if it is accessible to you, it is worth it.

self-compassion — not as softness, but as strategy a harsh inner voice keeps the alarm on every time you speak to yourself with contempt - why am I like this, what is wrong with me - your nervous system reads it as another threat learning to be gentle with yourself is not weak. it is how you stop being your own source of danger.

name your triggers consciously the anger at the driver who cut you off the panic when someone takes too long to reply the dread before something good, just waiting for it to fall apart these are not random - they are patterns with roots when you know what sets you off, you stop being ambushed by your own reactions

— ✦ —

the law of assumption layer

your nervous system is also your assumption machine

it is constantly scanning the world and finding confirmation of what it already believes - believe the world is unsafe and you will collect evidence everywhere - believe people will leave and watch how you unconsciously push them away - believe nothing good lasts and feel how quickly your hands loosen around beautiful things

so as your nervous system heals and begins to learn safety - your assumptions shift too

not by force. not by repeating affirmations through gritted teeth. but because you genuinely, bodily, begin to feel like someone the world is kind to

and then the world reflects that back

— ✦ —

sit with this one — return to it when the bracing comes back —

I am safe in my body I am safe in this moment my nervous system is learning - slowly, gently - that peace is allowed to be my default I do not have to earn rest I do not have to brace for impact I am allowed to just be here

— ✦ —

healing is not linear. some days the jaw clenches again. some days the old dread comes back and sits in your chest like it never left - that is okay - you are not starting over, you are just human - and you are learning, slowly and for real, that you were never as unsafe as you were taught to believe

the armour kept you alive once you are allowed to take it off now you are allowed to be soft in a world that is softer than you think

Why has Daddy Issues become this trauma that’s over sexualized by men that most likely have mommy issues? And I’m going to just throw this out there, most likely narcissistic that crave validation because they are insecure with themselves or their moms gave them and enabled their god-like complex. And guess who’s the perfect target for them? Women with daddy issues because we want love so bad we will do anything for it. Like accepting toxic behaviors our dads showed us and abuse. Why has it become this thing some women think is so “ cute ” or brag about? Possibly using it as a dark humor kinda thing to cope with it, I get it. But god damn it fucking SUCKS to actually come to the realization and accept that your dad wasn’t there for you mentally, emotionally, or physically. Maybe you can relate because your dad has passed away. Maybe he passed away on bad terms with you. Maybe he chose things like alcohol, drugs, or women over you. Maybe he just completely abandoned you. Maybe you don’t even know your dad. Maybe your dad is still alive but you have no connection/relationship with him. My parents are married for I don’t even know, 32 years?! But absolutely hate eachother. And that’s just the harsh truth. How’s that for an example of marriage growing up? Something that’s suppose to be so sacred. So special. So beautiful to share your life with another person. It’s been anything but that since I can remember.

Point is, I’m tired of seeing this as some sort of trend because like I said before, it FUCKING sucks when you come to the realization of it all and how it’s effected you from your childhood, to your adulthood.

It’s anything but cute.

It’s not feeling good enough. It’s insecurities. It’s never being able to fully trust a man. It’s always thinking somethings wrong. It’s fighting for someone even when you shouldn’t. It’s accepting bare minimum until you come to your senses. It’s accepting abuse. It’s neglect. It’s walking on eggshells. It’s losing yourself by giving more, more, more and more to someone that doesn’t even love you so you fight even harder for it to get them to love you. It’s constantly wanting to fix broken men. It’s not loving yourself. It’s anxiety. It’s thinking everything’s your fault. It’s constantly wondering if you’re making the right decision. It’s soul crushing. It’s noticing every little change in tone, behaviors, body language and thinking danger, you’re going to leave me. It’s living in fight or flight and freeze. It’s DRAINING.

As a little girl. Your dad is suppose to be your first love. He sets the tone of what a man should be and how a man should treat you and then you never settle for less. If your dad wasn’t there for you in any aspect you’ve probably been in toxic, chaotic relationships. And man I sure do wonder if I had a dad that showed up for me in every way if I would have ever been in any of the shit I was in. Probably not.

Positive side is that this life we live is one big lesson. You can either learn and grow from things, change your ways or stay stagnant. I’m in therapy and I refuse to let my trauma make me stay stagnant. All we can do is move forward and do better. Be better. Choose better. Everything BETTER.

The scream of your soul exposes the system's lie.

Do you feel a strange familiarity with this phrase? Do you look at the rules, the superficiality, and the spectacle of humanity, and the only honest reaction is a silent scream of rejection?

Your alienation is not a mistake. It is your internal GPS warning you that your moral compass and your essence are at a level of truth that this world has not yet reached. The fear of saying "This is not my home" is the fear of accepting yourself as a misfit with a purpose.

This book is your non-belonging manifesto. It proves to you that your truth is valid, that your scream is the only sane answer, and that your community of honest souls is waiting.

Stop feeling lonely. You are not lost, you are simply searching for your true home.

STOP PRETENDING TO BELONG. FIND YOUR HOME.

Your soul needs the home that validates it. If you need a raw voice to guide you to accept your alienation as power, the moment is now.

Click the link pinned on my profile and find the manifesto that celebrates your scream.

“(Barakah) is a subtle spiritual energy which flows through everything, but is strongest within the human. The more purified the human becomes, the greater the flow of barakah. Overpowering barakah can be experienced in sacred places, in sacred art and in sanctified people, all of which are theophanies, revealing and manifesting the Divinity - here on earth.”