#shadow self

Your shadow self is the one who gets angry when someone disrespects you.

The one who fights back when someone hurts you.

The one who tells you to leave a partner, a friend, a job that is harming you.

Yes, your higher self cares about your karma, your wisdom, your peace.

But it’s your shadow self who makes sure you are safe, loved, cherished.

me: right of course that's very obvious, makes sense please proceed

season 2 when spike is introduced he obviously was not her shadow consciously in all the writers minds at that point in time however on rewatches we can still interpret their earlier behaviors as such and there is A LOT to interpret: buffy and her shadow are both with other people who who connect them to each other and it was angel who sent spike on his path that would lead him to kill two slayers which leads him to buffy and despite being enemies they are unsuccessful in destroying each other and even manage to form a truce and work together. Buffy is told she's on her own by whistler and Spike then shows up to be her only ally

me: remembering, "I can be alone with you here" in s6. ok yeah so they are one - when she's alone with spike she's alone with herself. her and her shadow are literally teaming up to kill the monster who is a threat to her and our shadow selves are incredibly protective of us which is why society teaches us to hate those parts of ourselves in the first place so they can better manipulate, exploit, and abuse us. so even though the concept of a shadow self hasn't been introduced yet spike is still behaving in alignment with that from the very beginning (if you do not know or acknowledge your shadow self it will try to destroy you in order to call attention to it and try and force you to acknowledge it's existence and meet all your suppressed and ignored needs)

season 3: buffy can't fool one shadow about what's really going on with her and stabs the other shadow for angel and puts her into a coma

me: damn buffy fucking hates herself and being with angel in season 3 is a huge self betrayal and a form of self harm and both shadows call attention to that and faith literally tries to get angel away from her by killing him (not saying faith consciously is trying to protect buffy just that through the shadow lens that’s how her behavior can be interpreted)

season 4: buffy has the least consistent interactions with both shadow selves but the interactions she does have with both of them come between her and riley and cause major conflicts - riley works for the people who hunt and neuter her shadow self in an attempt to use and control his strength for their own means

me: ok so when buffy is with riley she is the most disconnected from herself which is why she's unable to emotionally connect with him because she can only connect with riley as much as she is connected to herself and she literally can't be connected to her shadow around riley because he already neutered her shadow and was angry with her for hiding spike from him after he escaped - we have moved from self hatred and betrayal to complete self abandonment - fuck.

season 5: the pull to her shadow is becoming harder to ignore, she is sneaking out of her bed and away from riley in order to be in graveyards closer to her shadow, to be free to be herself. buffy's behavior does not match the narrative she gives about her relationship to her shadow - she says she hates him, that she doesn't trust him and is repulsed by him and yet only confides in him and regularly seeks out his help and support and relies on him to protect her family. she looks to him for guidance to tell her about herself and he tells her of her death wish. dawn, the representative of buffy's innocence and inner child, is introduced and feels safe with her shadow and is always seeking him out

me: ok so just like when her shadow tried to get rid of angel in season 3 because he was a danger to her now her shadow is trying to come between her and riley because he's even more of a threat to buffy because he's trying to constrict her and shove her into the smallest box he can fit her into and have control over her strength and power and it terrifies her that spike is right about her death wish and that he knows that about her so she both fears her connection to her shadow with spike but also relies on it to keep dawn safe

season 6: tells him he's the only person she can stand to be around and is fucking him seven ways til sunday every chance she gets

me: ugh poor buffy she is caught between trying to love herself while still putting pleasing and meeting the expectations of everyone around her first and it's tearing her apart

season 7: buffy literally brings her shadow out of the dark (the school basement) and first into her world (via xander's) and then into her actual home - she cares for him, she supports him, she rescues him she says the literal words I don't hate like that, not anymore... she protects her shadow and she is no longer afraid to upset the people around her as long as she is doing what she knows is right and what she knows she needs to do

me: yay!!! Buffy loves herself!!! she's no longer putting pleasing other people above her own needs!! she isn't afraid to love and care for her shadow openly for all to see! no more self abandonment or betrayal! she is empowered!!!!

Agostino Arrivabene (b. 1967), “Lucifero”

encausto on antique wood, 2020

pick a pile ⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆

All intuitive psychic reading

⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆

Pile 1 : surrender to the now.

being at one with yourself, at peace with yourself, the things you've done, the actions that brought you here, the things you cannot control, the doubt within yourself, trying to speed up time and race to the next thing that could bring fast happiness / fast results but not a long lasting fufillment. Surrender to the now and embrace the beauty around you to help enrich your soul on a deeper, meaningul level to renergize your being and help you to feel that is needed right now. Allow the peace within and the peace around you flow to help you see more clearly, hear things differently, let the connection of peace help you atain a higher level for you to move forward. You may need more rest, time away from your phone, time away from certain people / going within to find your own answers. Going in nature more. Listen to what is being shown to you. Mother earth is trying to teach you, slowing down is okay. Having a connection to the self is important. How you connect to yourself is important. I feel like you guys may be feel stuck or in a constant state of i need to fight this to push thru / past this obstable in your current place and its not working the way you thought / wanted. Slow down, there is no rush. Nature doesnt rush, yet everything is accomplished. 🌿🧸

Pile 2 : you may resonate with pile3.

You may be working thru yo past / past experiences or having this epiphany how the past has effected you + how you see where the past fits into your current life. You may be Fighting this internal battle between feeling like you need to do something vs feeling like youre not accomplishing anything. ~ Challange yourself more to do things you want to do, some of you may have some big ideas that could be helpful to the future of others and your future. Remember you are limitless, fear is an illusion. 🌀 dont let yourself get too caught up in that illusion 🧸

Pile 3: you may resonate with pile2.

Surrendering to the act of change / creation. you may be wondering where you fit into in your own life, where you fit into others / familys lives, where you want to go. Who you want to be to the outside world. all of those things are pretty big things to think about / change all in one day. In the mix of feeling more inspired and enthused about being more outside of your lane a bit, you may be feeling that it may be more difficult than you thought. Whether youre stuck from a thought pattern that doesnt help, if you feel like you dont want to fit in you'd rather do your own thing in a completly different direction than everyone else, have different thoughts and ideas but feel alone or just don't know how to move on your own, allow yourself some help, thats cool too :) allow yourself to take some time to create, change and feel happy within said changes. Sometimes we need to be creative in the world we shape, learn, re learn, the world within ourselves. Look within to see what you need right now in order to get closer to where you want to go💓✨ 🧸