#contaminationocd

The reason I chose the name Ri/Warrior is because living with OCD feels like a constant battle. From the little things like a song that my brain sings constantly even when I don’t want it too, to full blown crying and screaming because a ritual went wrong and my brain can’t handle and process it (this only happens once a year if that now but used to happen daily of not a few times a day). I may be medicated, have done 7months of intensive therapy and have a good support system but I struggle 4 years into my recovery. Who knows? One day I may be able to retire my sword and stop fighting and live a completely peaceful life without my OCD monster but that day has yet to be seen. I’m not giving up though :) ! Know if you have OCD and are reading this you aren’t as alone as your OCD monster/s make you feel. I’m here and nearly always happy to chat. Hope everyone is ok ❤️.

One of the worst things that could happen to someone with Contamination OCD is what just happened to me.

First let me say, this is to reduce mental pressure because I feel like I might throw up. 🤢 Literally.

We have a cricket problem. A huge one. Our house is infested and it's been a test and a half to survive with them on a daily basis. They chirp at all hours of the day, shit everywhere, climb on everyone and everything. AND, heres the REALLY BIG ONE, the thing that trigggered me to the pointing of nearly spewing....

Some of the crickets are infected with these massive worms that crawl out of them when they die. It looks like a long thick black hair. One was in my husbands coffee cup this morning.

Excuse me a moment to breath.

I did it. I did it. 

Today for the first time in ages, I was able to convince myself that it's okay to handle chemicals which may potentially harm me because my sinks needed to be cleaned and my drain wasn't working well. I'm not going to be able to eat for a couple hours but I had a good breakfast before so I will be okay.