#aromanticasexual

A poem by Lily

I've been told all my life

"Life is a cave, —

Dark, dense, desolate —"

And so, everyone needs a torch

To light their way through it.

When I was a small girl,

I was too young to hold a torch, they said,

I would burn my fingers on the flame,

And so too would others my age,

Though they still dreamt of it,

When I never truly did.

But then I, we, grew older,

And others held a stick,

Setting it alight with ease as they walked.

Most of the flames fizzled out fast,

Though some withstood the wind in the dark,

Lighting the paths of my peers through the cave.

I held on to the belief that we were still too young,

That our hands were too clumsy, that the flame would still burn us.

Until we weren't anymore,

Until I was the only one who thought that,

Until everyone around me held a lit torch, and there I was,

Stick in hand,

yet nothing to set it ablaze.

It was then I noticed that the cave was never truly dark,

Hundreds of fireflies buzzed around my ears,

Lighting the cave as well as any flame.

And I thought, "do I really need one? Do I really want one?"

Never did I believe I needed a torch

Like everyone else in the world, it seemed,

So why should I need one now?

The flame would still burn my fingers,

The air would be too hot on my face.

And so, I tossed the flimsy, flameless stick to the ground.

I followed the fireflies instead, their quiet melody company in the cavernous cave.

And I think I would rather have their light,

Soft, buzzing, and mine.

Aroaces are not the most marginalized group. Pushing this narrative of inclusion has reached the extent of erasure for more marginalized aspec identities.

Don’t say this to an Aromantic person. 👆🏻

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saiki k continues to reinforce my belief that to establish an identity for a character, u NEED to use a term because tell me how saiki k can say i am the definition of aromantic and people still say its not confirmed. like he says, he finds romantic love entirely pointless, and people still say he isn't aromantic. Imagine a male character said "i exclusively like other men" and people tried to claim he wasnt gay. and some of the reasons people give as to why are borderline aphobic with the most common being "well he hasnt felt romance YET but ge still could" but like thats basically just saying well you havent met the right person yet which is just i want to say disgusting but i think unnerving fits better. this shit makes me uncomfortable because these people would definitely treat real aro people like this i know my mother was very much on the "that will change when you meat the right person" when i came out to her. some people will probably think its just a character who cares and the answer is people who feel seen by saiki k and dont like having there identities invalidated by shippers there is so litte aro and ace rep already why is it that when there is an aro or ace character people rush to ship them. another example is alastor from hazbin hotel now i have my grievances with hazbin hotel as rep but it was stated outside the show that alastor is aroace which to me is worthless but then in the show they call him "an ace in the whole" which is confirmation of asexuality and heavy implications of aromantism considering that it was said in the context of romance but people still flock to ship alastor and say that he was never confirmed in show and a personal least favourite remark of "aroace people can still date" and my response is " not all of them" because its important to have characters who are openly aro or ace or aroace and to have that be respected. these attitudes extend to real people aswell i personally have experienced my identity be invalidated under the you havent met the right person and ive seen real people get shipped and have there identities invalidated on the basis of it getting in the way of a ship and theres the inverse of people outraging of over aro headcanons because "MAHHH SHIIIP". theres a tiktok that ive linked and specifically the first part is relavent because i think thats genuinely how aroace characters are going to need to because subtly went out the window when saiki was denied but im genuinely not sure if saying aromantic would even help anymore. if you made it to the end of this thank you seriously this could not have been a pleasant read.

Hey, I'm Alex, and I identify as aegosexual, aegoromantic, and bi-oriented aroace. That might sound like a mouthful, but it all comes down to a few key things:

First off, I don't experience sexual or romantic attraction in real life. But, I do enjoy fantasising about sexual and romantic situations. I'm not interested in actually participating in these situations, but I find it enjoyable to imagine them.

Secondly, I'm attracted to people of multiple genders, but not in a romantic or sexual way. I might find someone aesthetically appealing or interesting, but I don’t want to have a romantic relationship with them. I'm more interested in deep friendships and platonic connections.

Aegosexuality was always an illusion to me. It made me feel like there was still hope for me to bloom later, to grow out of my asexuality.

But I was wrong.

I have high libido, which means that I often feel this sudden burst of arousal coming out of nowhere, not linked to anyone or anything. Just my hormones and my body communicating in a strange way. And I had to learn the best way to get rid of it or to seek sexual release by myself, using sexual content.