#aegosexuality

But more frustratingly (or interestingly to some people) my hands are still sweaty or clammy and really cold. I also keep crossing my ring finger and my pinky finger. Oh, and I keep feeling like I've got a sore stomach. I've had a sore stomach since June 2025, Hemorrhoids since August 2025, but the pains never go away. So it's frustrating.

Earlier I had a dry throat. I'm also always congested. I feel like my throat is never great, because of allergies or something. I think the global climate just means that'll always be an issue for me. And yeah, I do hate that. sigh...

My dad should be home soon. I'm beating my feet together, still overthinking my sexuality and everything. My hands are ice cold, I'm feeling weird, and I've been writing posts for 80% of the time my dad has been out of the house. Gods, I'm so freaking sedentary. sigh...

But more frustratingly (or interestingly to some people) my hands are still sweaty or clammy and really cold. I also keep crossing my ring finger and my pinky finger. Oh, and I keep feeling like I've got a sore stomach. I've had a sore stomach since June 2025, Hemorrhoids since August 2025, but the pains never go away. So it's frustrating.

Earlier I had a dry throat. I'm also always congested. I feel like my throat is never great, because of allergies or something. I think the global climate just means that'll always be an issue for me. And yeah, I do hate that. sigh...

But when I'm at home, when I have internet and I have an ability to access the erotica and I'm stressing or I'm bored...I begin obsessing. I think about it all until I either wind up masturbating or I end up writing 20 new posts about the damn topic! This is why I sometimes say that I think I'm hypersexual. It's because I can't always get the topic out of my head once I've allowed it to get lodged in there.

I feel no sexual attraction to anyone else. I masturbate a lot, but I never ever think of real sexual intimacy. Honestly, the idea of seeing anyone nude in real life makes me uncomfortable. I can handle it if I'm nude, but others? No. I'm 21 now, and I don't think I've ever seen anyone fully nude in real life. So the idea of that...deeply stressful and embarassing to me.

This is why I haven't really told anyone my sexuality in real life before. When I told my dad once, he tries to reassure me it was normal by telling me he also masturbates or has masturbated. And that created an awful mental image, one that's basically burned all hopes of me ever trying to tell anyone else in real life about my sexuality. It's not about my dad or anyone judging me. It's about simple embarassment.

But my dad's suggested I go on a walk with him to a park, at least before another storm crashes upon our area in the evening (as it's apparently supposed to do). So I think I'll head out to a park with my dad soon. But I should be fine. Just wish me luck, I guess. I doubt I'll need it, but still.

And as I've mentioned, I'm still insecure about my posts being seen. So you know...I wouldn't mind some reassure that my posts are indeed being seen. So if people are willing to reassure me about my posts actually being seen...well, I wouldn't mind that at all. Not at all. Especially seeing as I keep pulling my muscles in my legs and thinking about/worrying about masturbation and everything else. So you know...I wouldn't mind spam likes at this point. I'd still feel super awkward about it, but I might not mind it.

I still get obsessive over my sexuality. That's why I masturbate so often, that's why I vent about it so often on here. There's nothing inherently wrong with all of that, but I just...I still feel really obsessive about it. If I get an erection, for example...I will (it's a 50/50 split) probably be thinking about it obsessively until I end up forcing myself to masturbate out oI just wrote the following because I was tired and impulsive. I'm gonna return to playing Pokemon now, but I was too tired and I was driven to impulsively write the following below. I still get obsessive over my sexuality. That's why I masturbate so often, that's why I vent about it so often on here. There's nothing inherently wrong with all of that, but I just...I still feel really obsessive about it. If I get an erection, for example...I will (it's a 50/50 split) probably be thinking about it obsessively until I end up forcing myself to masturbate out of obsessive feelings. If I don't wind up masturbating, I will wind up touching myself down there. Why am I confessing all this? Well, because it happened again recently. But also because I woke up at 3 am today and I'm too freaking exhausted to care about decorum.