#ak.asks

Is this a joke or are you asking genuinely?

First of all, I can tell you did not read my previous answered ask on why fetishing and or romanticising someone’s disorders is gross and harmful.

I’ll leave it here since I am not repeating myself.

To answer your question? Yes. You shouldn’t seek out mentally ill people to take advantage of their symptoms. Someone with NPD isn’t guaranteed to “love only you”. That’s not how the disorder works. I’m certain you don’t even know the criteria for NPD, considering the fact that you asked “how to know if someone has NPD”. You should be accepting and understanding of who they are as a person. Fetishing and using their symptoms for your own personal gain and fantasies is not love. Using someone is not actual love. If you want a mutually obsessive relationship, then be upfront about that. Don’t seek out mentally ill people for your own satisfaction (especially if you have no intentions of actually accepting and loving them for who they are). There are many parts to NPD, and I can guarantee that it won’t be whatever fantasy you happen to have in mind.

How to know if someone has NPD? Well. If they’re diagnosed and or fit the symptom criteria. However, I feel I should preface this with that you shouldn’t go around armchair diagnosing people. I’m just making a comment on researched and educated self-diagnosis (I’m not going into depth on this on this post. If you want to know why I have this stance, then ask).

It’s fairly obvious I have NPD. You’d have to be intentionally oblivious or new to my blog if you somehow are unaware of the fact. How much more obvious can I make it when I already reblog posts about NPD and tag my posts with NPD tags? That’s rhetorical, by the way.

Since I apparently have to spell it out for you, here’s the DSM-V criteria for NPD:

The DSM-V is a bit ableist on how it defines the criteria since it’s based off of how others are affected by those with NPD rather than how it affects the person with NPD. However, I don’t think it’s worth my time to describe each and every symptom to you. If you’re curious, then you can inquire further.

You mention that you’re afraid of abandonment (I don’t know if you’re BPD or Cluster B or not), yet you seem to be intentionally setting yourself up for a toxic and unstable relationship. You should pursue someone you love and care about. You should try to understand them and help them because you love them. Not because you want to use them to feed the empty pit within your heart. You will never fill that void if your actions aren’t genuine; that’s how the psyche is. Although, I can’t force you to listen to me. But I won’t lie to you nor will I sugar coat my words for anyone. If someone needs help, I’ll help them. If someone needs to hear what they don’t want to hear, then I’m telling them the truth.

If anything, the advice I can try to give you is self introspection. You need to reflect on why you feel the way you do. If you end up loving someone with NPD, then that’s fine. But you need to understand that this isn’t a game or some “edgy and quirky” disorder. It’s a disorder formed primarily from trauma, and I will not condone anyone taking advantage of those who are vulnerable or mentally ill, etc. As someone with NPD, I can confidently say that you will not get what you’re looking for. They will split on you, there will be lows and uncomfortable times in the relationship, etc. Will you be willing to support them during Narcissistic crashes? Will you be understanding of how they feel and think without judging them? Will you be open to hearing and understanding their trauma? Will you be accepting of the fact that they cannot force themselves to feel a certain way or to have empathy, since their brain is physically different due to trauma (and other variables)? Will you be a safe place for them to unmask and be themselves? Will you treat them as a person deserving of respect? Mentally ill people are still people in the end.

This isn’t a dream nor fantasy. This is reality. You will not find what you’re looking for. If you can’t be arsed to care about the pain people with NPD can go through, then you’re best off just sticking to cliché “yandere X reader(s)” [fanfictions]. Keep your fantasy a fantasy, mate.

A field of mushrooms ?

Well as my typical mushroom fun fact spiel, fungi are more closely related to animals than they are plants. Fascinating little creatures

The mushroom “Chicken of the Woods” is often used as a meat substitute (for you guessed it — chicken. It has a similar taste and texture allegedly).

The Japanese mushroom Shiitake is commonly mispronounced among English speakers as “shit take” or “shi take”, etc. The Japanese pronunciation is actually “shii ta ke”, the ii making a long “e” sound as in “She”, the a making an “ah”, and the e in “ke” making an “eh”.

Unfortunately, I do not believe this ask was in good faith, so I’m answering this way. Additionally, I feel this is the same person as last time, so I will not be giving you the benefit of the doubt. I’ve linked two relevant posts for this matter, but there are more asks in the featured tag on my blog.

Post 1

Post 2

The first indicator was the fact that you used the word “female” the way you did (which is just gross by the way. You could have easily just have used “woman/women”).

First of all, FP attachments are not inherently romantic. They can commonly have a romantic aspect to them for many cluster B people, but they don’t have to be. A FP attachment can happen to a friend, a family member, fictional characters, etc. I don’t see why attraction of any kind is relevant for this sort of question (it isn’t, which is why I’m responding the way I am). Attraction of any sort has nothing to do with FP attachments. It’s a disordered attachment style, it is not restricted to romantic relationships (not everyone experiences romantic attraction anyway you daft cunt).

I’ve had FP attachments to all sorts of people regardless of their gender and sexual identity—because that has nothing to do with FPs. Sure, I’ve had a FP attachment to people who identified as femme or women to some degree, but that doesn’t mean I was romantically attracted to them (we are collectively aroace as a system anyways). Romance has nothing to do with FP attachments. Someone can be romantically attracted to a FP, but it is not a requirement.

I don’t even know what bullshit you were getting at with “behavior differences between men and women”, but it comes off as borderline sexist and transphobic to me (being AFAB does not mean someone is a woman). It has nothing to do with FPs, and I think it’s overall a futile question. No, I didn’t think about any sort of “difference” in their behavior nor mine. A FP attachment has to do with the unhealthy and disordered attachment style—not any sort of attraction to the person.

Not everyday I see another hetalia fictive—well, at least one that is actually a system. When it comes to source, there’s usually a lot of proship and endos & pro endos within the fandom (as if that’s shocking; there’s a lot more than that, but I’m sure you’re well aware).

It’s refreshing to see like-minded people however. Stick around if you’d like (or pester me with asks if that’s more entertaining for you). I usually reblog these days, although I may try to get back into creating art again.

ask game

🧠 - Ive been thinking about you alot, have you been thinking about me too?

I’m assuming you meant this one? I think this can be meant in a platonic or other sort of way; it doesn’t have to be taken “romantically”.

My apologies for taking so long to respond. I like to answer asks when I’m in the proper headspace to give a detailed and worthy response.

I’m unsure what you mean by “my Cluster B”. Do you mean your own disorders? A partner? I’m honestly unsure, I’m sorry. Is the person you’re dating making fun of their own disorders, or other people, or you? I’m unfortunately not quite sure what you’re asking me.

However, I can try to answer regarding fetishisation of Cluster Bs and mental illnesses in general. I don’t think someone mocking or judging your disorders is fetishisation, but it would be ableism/sanism. You shouldn’t be judged for something you cannot control. However, mental illnesses and disorders do not give someone the excuse to choose to be abusive or toxic, etc.

I’m assuming this is in regard to my previous posts on the matter. Fetishisation of mental illnesses can present in various ways, but often I see it as perpetuation of harmful stereotypes. Often, stereotypes portrayed in media and movies will be glorified. Usually things such as a distant and cold demeanours, being controlling and possessive and obsessive, having violent outbursts or tendencies, etc. Some people may find this attractive/sexy, and sometimes this will lead to spreading of harmful stereotypes and generalisations of disorders. It does not just happen to Cluster B disorders, but you specifically asked about those, so I’ll be focusing on that.

The issue is when ableist stereotypes of the disorders become spread, either out of villainisation of people with the disorder and or glorification of the symptoms. Sometimes this will also lead people to encourage or indulge in toxic and unhealthy coping mechanisms for the sake of “edginess” and being “cool and sexy”. There are even people who pretend to have [these] disorders in order to be “sexy” and “edgy”. It leads to comparison and infighting among Cluster Bs, but also for people to fakeclaim and judge those who do or don’t fit said fantasies. Most people do not fit the stereotype(s), even if a select few do. Sometimes those who wish to recover or to unlearn unhealthy coping mechanisms will be judged, or “shunned” from certain parts of the community. Which is pathetic, if you ask me. Cluster B disorders are usually caused [primarily] from early childhood trauma (among other things). Not only does indulging in toxic behaviours impact others, it will cause the Cluster B individual(s) harm and suffering. No one is forced to recover however; it’s their own choice in the end. Although, I do have an issue with the encouragement and glorification of essentially toxic coping mechanisms the brain developed at a young age to protect itself in an unstable environment.

Additionally, some people may seek out those with said disorders to fulfill [often sexual] fantasies. It leads to objectification of those with said mental illnesses. Sometimes they may be taken advantage of for the way they are, and it may lead to predatory people attempting to pursue them. If they refuse to and or don’t fit the stereotype, then they may be insulted or attacked by said people/person. I am speaking primarily from personal experience, this is not speculation; although, I know I am not the only one to experience this.

People will often lie to me and say they’re accepting of me, until I exhibit symptoms. Either that, or they try to encourage me to split and have episodes because they find it “sexy/hot”. It is essentially taking advantage of someone for something they cannot control. I suppose people don’t control what they find attractive (albeit I’m aroace), but I don’t condone people taking advantage of someone’s disorders. The goal should be to understand and accept them for who they are, not use them as an object for personal pleasure and fantasies.

I’m probably coming off very blunt and harsh, but that’s because it’s an important topic [that does affect me]. Villainisation of Cluster B(s) goes hand-in-hand with the glorification/fetishisation of its harmful stereotypes within media. People will glorify the fantasies they see in media, but are often disappointed when most Cluster B people are not that way. This may lead to fake-claiming, harassment, or overall just judgement of actual Cluster B individuals. I say this because I have experienced that. Sometimes Cluster B people will feel or be pressured into presenting as the stereotype in order to “fit in”. I have an issue with this as there are [emotionally] vulnerable people and minors within the community. It not only inhibits recovery, but often makes the Cluster B person suffer more (emotionally, etc.). I take no issue with coping and stuff like that as long as it is in good faith. I however will never condone the glorification and fetishisation of abuse and toxic relationships (especially encouragement of it or seeking it out). Cluster Bs are often subject to abuse and manipulation themselves, often by people who want to take advantage of them and or believe them to be “evil”. They deserve to heal and be happy. If something is causing you to feel worse or split more, then it’s probably not a good “coping mechanism”.

Anyways, I don’t know if I answered your question in the way you would’ve liked. Feel free to send in a follow-up ask if you’d like a different response.

Depends,

I think a lot of times it is. A lot of times it’s used in a fetishy way to objectify those with mental illnesses. Or it’s used in a quirky way to fetish Japanese and East Asian culture. Obviously, I don’t condone that.

It’s a convoluted and tricky question if you ask me. I don’t mind people using it as a “coping mechanism”, but I don’t really call myself a “yandere”. I resonate with how yanderes are and feel—but I know that it is simply a media trope within anime. Just because someone’s mentally ill, doesn’t mean they’re immune from glorifying and romanticizing abuse, etc.

Sometimes I feel it can get to toxic and anti recovery levels, especially when people are encouraging and indulging in toxic behaviors. I do relate to the trope in a way, but as you can see in my posts, I never outright call myself a “yandere”, etc. (save for the technicality when I made a call out post on a creep in the yandere tags/community).

But to answer your question, I don’t think it’s inherently ableist regarding its origin. It can be used in an ableist way, especially by Westerners and those who fetish mental illnesses (such as Cluster B). If I remember correctly, the trope was originally made by mentally ill people in Japan (someone is free to correct me on this, or add a more in-depth explanation).

I’ve only recently starting using the tags and interacting with stuff related to “yanderes”, but I feel I don’t relate to many people in the community. Same goes for Cluster B spaces. Some of them I just don’t relate to. I may be mentally ill, but I am not anti recovery. If someone is simply writing and venting out their thoughts, that’s fine. If someone’s relating to the trope and characters, that’s fine. But I don’t agree with fetishing or glorifying abuse, etc.

There can be introjects/fictives of Yandere characters (introjects form for many reasons—not because someone really liked the character), so I can see why they may make content about how they feel, etc. It’s unfortunately not a clear-cut answer.

So, in short, I don’t think it is inherently ableist or was meant to be—but I have seen it portrayed and used in ableist ways by people [primarily online]. I can be obsessive and possessive due to disorders I have, so some yandere characters may resonate with me. But personally, I am not a fan of “X Readers” and fetishy content of the trope.

Thank you for the question though—I am open to discussion if you’d like to share your own thoughts and opinions. I know people tend to have different opinions on the matter, which I am open to hearing. I am fine with a respectful debate; as long as no one gets vulgar with each other.

Those are very bold claims coming from someone hiding behind anonymity. Although, I think I can assume very well who you are.

For starters, you blocked me first. You are not entitled to my blog nor my life. Grow up. You are a grown adult. If you need help, seek a counsellor or a psychiatrist or a therapist. Or call a help line. There are also plenty of free resources out there. I owe you nothing.

Second of all, you don’t know me. You don’t know my life nor how I feel. I am allowed to reblog posts and make writings. It’s my blog. I can do whatever the fuck I want. If you don’t like it, then leave. No one’s forcing you to read it. Not only that, I’m not the only person you’ve done this to. What is there to gain from pestering people who don’t even know you?

Third. You claim you’re not transphobic, yet you go out of your way to make this about gender identity and sexuality? I chose to block you, no one made me. It’s because you’re willingly choosing to be a closed-minded asshat, as well as the fact that you’re harassing fellow Cluster Bs (and yanderes) in my community. I chose to help someone because they were suicidal, and because they were asking for help—NOT because they were nonbinary (yes, I know who you’re talking about). If you’re referring to who I think you are, I find that painfully ironic—considering the fact that you said the exact same shit to them after they got out of a toxic relationship with their ex. You didn’t respect their boundaries nor back off, so they rightfully blocked you. You need to grow up and realise that people do not owe you a connection, or anything for that matter. Don’t go making people uncomfortable and then acting surprised when you get blocked or they don’t want to talk to you. I’m not as stupid or unintelligent as you take me for, piss off.

I love people because I chose to. I help them because I chose to. There’s no magical feelings or powers that compel me to do so. How fucking selfish are you? Goodness forbid I help people recover, because that’s what I’d want someone to do for me if I were in that situation? Because I understand their pain? For a self proclaimed “empath”, you have absolutely zero empathy. Projecting your insecurities and emotions onto people is not empathy. You harassed and crossed the boundaries of someone who was suicidal. They were patient with you until they felt they had to block you. And yet you’re an “empath”? You compare them to their abusive/toxic ex despite the fact that you were previously acting like you cared about their safety? Saying the same bullshit you said to them to me now? Having “empathy” for only those you like is not empathy. You have no excuse to be acting this way. Everyone has their own issues, I have my own issues and trauma—that doesn’t mean trauma gives you an excuse to hurt people. If you can’t afford a therapist, then use the free resources available online. People are not indebted to you just because you chose to help them, especially if they’re a friend. You’re awfully self-righteous for someone who takes advantage of those with low self-esteem. I do not need “saving”, I can take care of myself just fine.

Not only am I also trans, I am gay. I have friends of all sorts of identities. I find it repulsive that you’d even insinuate that I befriend people based on their gender. I befriend people that I have similar interests with and because I’ve made a connection to them—not because of their gender and sexual identity. Do you happen to do that? Because I don’t see why else you’d even bring up such an absurd accusation. I have plenty of friends who are cis, or trans, or straight, or gay—etc. Do you? Or are you taking it personally that I don’t wish to be associated with you, so the only defence you can formulate is a shitty straw-man argument?

Need I remind you block evading is against Tumblr TOS? No one owes you content or friendship. How immature do you have to be to think that you’re entitled to people’s time and energy? I can speak to and befriend whoever the hell I want. And you are not one of them. Your actions do not make me any more fond of you than I was before.

Also, you are gravely mistaken. I am not some pathetic, self-proclaimed “empath”. What are you even doing in Yandere spaces? Majority of us are Cluster B, you absolute knob. In case you had any reading comprehension, I am Cluster B. I couldn’t help but notice that you believe in “narcissistic abuse”. For your information, I am a narcissist. I don’t know if you think this is some sort of game or that I’m pretending. I am not trying to be “edgy and cool”, this is who I am. I am also antisocial (what you probably know more commonly by the term “psychopath”). I do not appreciate you coming into Cluster B spaces, harassing Cluster B individuals, and then expecting any pity or sympathy from me. I am a “good” person because I chose to be. It’s always been a choice. You don’t need empathy to be a good person. I do not have empathy. I do not have guilt. Does that make me a “bad” person? No. You’ve seen me help people—it’s because I choose to. If that makes you doubt the mental illnesses I have, then you need to do some actual self introspection.

I do not want to be friends with someone who thinks I am evil for trauma and things I cannot control. I will always stand with my fellow Cluster Bs. I use Yandere themes as a coping mechanism, and I have friends who do so as well. It’s an outlet for my feelings, etc. It doesn’t mean you can treat me like an object for your personal pleasure.

Now onto the important part for my fellow Cluster Bs (as well as those who are in the Yandere community): This person is known to make many burner accounts to stalk and harass those in the community. They will also spam you with anonymous asks, and maybe even DMs from several accounts. If you see these accounts or accounts that are similar, block and report. It’s not worth your time. I am not encouraging anyone to harass the accounts I have listed here. What you do is your own doing; I do not take responsibility for others’ actions. I am simply sick of my fellow Cluster B friends being harassed by people like this. Especially if you are a minor; this person is an adult (around 50 years old).

A lot of this is self explanatory. But, I’d like to highlight the ableism against those with NPD and ASPD. As well as them being polyamorous-phobic (don’t know how to word that, but they have poly people in their DNI). As you can see, “sociopaths” are in the DNI—an outdated ableist term used to refer to those with ASPD. And the tag “narcissistic abuse recovery” is on their pinned post.

And, personally—the inclusion of “ageplay” in their bio is repulsive to me. I don’t condone the sexualisation of age regressors, etc.

For example, these are the types of alt and burner accounts you may see by them. There will be mostly (or only) reblogs. They may spam-like a bunch of your posts, etc. And then they may DM you talking about how they want to comfort you, or that you’re “a real yandere” and your “writing is unique and not like the fake yanderes”. This is a manipulation tactic (commonly used by groomers, might I add)—they will try to make you feel special and that only they can understand you. This person claims to be an “empath” who is “drawn to people that are hurting”. They are simply taking advantage of the fact that you are emotionally vulnerable. They do not actually care, they are just trying to get you to attach to them or gain an obsession with them. They will try to mention things you like in order to get closer to you, etc. Even after you block them, they will make new accounts to try and interact with you, etc. I suggest you block and report; block evasion is against Tumblr TOS. If someone is harassing you, always try to report it. You are able to block people who are anonymous, and you are able to block those who already have you blocked. If you need help on how to block from side blogs, etc., I am happy to help to the best of my abilities. Also a great reminder that internet safety is important; be careful sharing personal information, etc. It’s hard to erase a digital footprint.

And since I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. I am not saying for people to go and attack or harass this person. They are harassing me as well as people I know and follow. I am simply making an awareness post for those who wish to avoid them, etc. If you choose to interact with them, that is your own doing. I do not take responsibility for those who choose to send them death threats, etc.