Current Mood: Death

it's easy for me to tell who is possessed by dark spirits and who isnt

[recommending something i sincerely love] ok so the thing about it is it kinda sucks

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

ive got a scary math joke but im 2² to say it

"if yr stabbed dont take the knife out" okay so thats basiclaly cockwarming

i can never leave this place

There’s no what

theres no squirrels in australia???

Aussie here, I DIDN'T KNOW SQUIRRELS WERE ACTUALLY REAL FOR THE FIRST EIGHT YEARS OF MY LIFE NO JOKE I THOUGHT THEY WERE A MYTHICAL ANIMAL LIKE UNICORNS

WHAT??

Also kids are far less likely to be confused by something the younger they learn about it. Kiddo had queer people in his life and casual references to queerness before he could even talk. It was never confusing for him. It was normal.

Squirrels were an invasive species to Australia but they never managed to gain a foothold and were eradicated within a few years of their arrival.

dom who sticks their fingers down your throat, asks you a question, and laughs when you try to answer

Yes, yes, the dentist.  We’ve all been there.

It is implied through gameplay mechanics that the two kingdoms at war in chess both formally permit regnal polygamy, allowing the King to take at least nine wives of equal status, and that marriage can be bestowed as a military honour, but curiously that honour - in stark contrast to the conventional attitudes of the aristocracy - can only be bestowed upon soldiers of the unlanded class, leaving great questions to be asked of the material interests and stability of these kingdoms' aristocracies

also, their horses lack limbs & their castles are small

yknow the smallness of the castles is FAR from their most interesting distinction from the noticeably immobile ones we are familiar with

gothic horror is when there's a location. cosmic horror is when there's an unauthorized fucking Thing. folk horror is when you're outside.

baseball in essence is a game about you trying to throw your friend a ball but some asshole wont stop trying to knock your ball as far as fuck away as possible because he's a bad person

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

I love this post

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

The longer it takes for this to come across your dash the funnier it is

Which will fade first? Memories of the Area 51 "raid", or memories of Internet Explorer?