Solei

You’ve been screaming back and forth at each other for over 20 minutes; nothing but barbarous insults hurled at each other that neither of you will be able to forget but will refuse to discuss when your tempers have regulated. Not to mention that he heard that tell-tale grit in your voice from the very first second that you opened your mouth. Hell, it almost weighed heavier on him than the horrible things you were telling him. 

Now, though, you’re both silent. Everything that needed to be said was said. 

Eyes wide and unflinchingly locked together, unwavering connection stemming from the vicious battle you just went through in this bedroom. The one that was never going to produce a victor, because neither of you can take back what you told each other. You’re still red in the face. You’ve still got veins popping out of your neck. Hot, angry tears are silently pouring down your cheeks—no doubt from the high emotions, the unbearable pain. 

Or maybe from the realization you’re arriving at for the millionth time this month: This relationship isn’t working. Hasn’t been working for weeks, and he knows you’ve been in that state of mind for a while. 

Clark, though? Not so much. He’s given you so much of himself, so much of his time, so much of his life and love…how could he ever let you go?

So when you finally break that eye contact, when you look down at the floor separating the two of you, he knows what he has to do. Does he want to do it? No, because Clark is a good man. 

But he’ll do anything to keep you with him.

It starts when you let out one of those wistful little sighs—the exact type of sigh that precedes the line he knows you’ll forget you even said to him in a few minutes: 

“I think we need to take a break.” 

Your voice is much softer now. Broken, in a way. Broken from how hard you were yelling. Broken from how upset you are. Broken from your own suggestion, because Clark knows that, deep down in your heart, you never mean that. You’ve never gone through with it, so how could you possibly mean it? You don’t want that. 

He knows what you want. 

Clark clears his throat. Takes a few slow, long strides across your bedroom until he reaches you. You’re so tired from the fight that you don’t even move away from him. Not like you’d want to, anyway. Clark knew you wouldn’t. He knows this fight—and the way you react to it—better than anything else. 

You might have said you can’t stand him, that you want to take a break, that you’re tired of it all…but your body doesn’t agree. Your body leans into him. Your body presses your hands against his chest and lets your forehead fall on his shoulder. Your body rests on his so that you don’t have to carry the weight of your shared dysfunction on your own anymore.

“C’mon, baby. Don’t say that.” he whispers. “You don’t mean that.” 

“Clark, don’t—” 

That tiny beginner’s protest doesn’t really ring true while you’re sliding your arms around his shoulders and pulling yourself into his chest, so he cuts you off.

“No. No, we don’t need a break. We can work through this. We always work through it, don’t we?” he purrs at you. Tilts your head up with one hand while his other arm stays wrapped around your waist. Glues you to him and doesn’t give you any space to unstick yourself from him. His fingers curl around your jaw and a quick scan of your face in the pale blue moonlight streaming into your room gives him what he was hoping to see. 

You have a certain habit that he uses to his advantage when you fight with him. You gnaw at your bottom lip when you’re trying to keep certain insults in. Sometimes, it’s so harsh of a bite that you cut the skin. Make yourself bleed. 

Give him an opening to change your mind. 

“Goodness, honey. You gotta stop doing this,” he sweetly coos. Runs his thumb over your bottom lip to make it seem like he’s only concerned about the cut. To be fair, he is concerned about how it’s probably hurting you—but that’s not taking precedence right now. 

“Gonna hurt yourself. I know this doesn’t feel good.”

He pushes out a sigh through his nose. He has to look frustrated and sympathetic if he wants to act like he doesn’t know what he’s doing. 

“You gonna let me clean you up?”  

You whine and lean into his touch; a confirmation without the words to accompany it. He knows you can’t resist him. He puts on his sweetest smile and mumbles, “Good. Gotta take care of my girl,” while he gives you a soft squeeze.

Getting you this close is just step one. 

Step two, though, is where the last remaining dregs of his own guilt start to creep in. He hesitates for a moment when he pulls his thumb off of your lip and brings it up to his own mouth. He could pull away from you and get a wet rag to clean it instead. He could be the good man Ma raised him to be. 

Then you lean into him a little more. Get so close to him that he can smell the shampoo in your hair, the perfume on your skin, the adrenaline pumping through your blood. Your bottom lip is still subtly trembling. A shockwave from your crying that just refuses to leave you, much like how you can’t leave his arms right now.

How could you blame him for what he’s about to do? Your body is begging him to do it. Begging him for some release from this pain. Craving relief that only he can provide you.

Isn’t the whole point of his being here on Earth protecting and caring for its inhabitants, anyway?

So he ditches the guilt. Swallows it down and acts like he’s just trying to clean you up when he licks his thumb to wet it and swipes it over the gently oozing blood on your lip. Drags it back and forth over the still-open cut once, twice, three times. Soft and sweet, like Ma would do when he had a stain on his cheek from playing outside when he was a kid. As though there’s no ulterior motive here. 

And to you, there probably isn’t. To you, he probably seems like he’s just caring for you. Trying to make you feel better. 

Clark knows that’s not the case. 

He keeps his thumb pressed against your lip. Keeps it over that cut. Keeps pressing his saliva into the little wound. Rubbing it back and forth. Licking his thumb again. Repeating the whole process when some more blood wells from your self-inflicted bite. Feeding more and more of himself to you. 

Part of him wishes Kara never told him about this little trick.

“All I know is that it’s like…a fuckin’ love potion, or something. If you kiss a human, they’ll go crazy for you. I think it’s in our spit. I know it sounds crazy, Kal, but trust me. That shit works.” 

He thought she was lying. Didn’t believe her at first, because how outrageous would that be? Sure, his parents wanted him to repopulate Earth, but isn’t aphrodisiac-laced spit a little far fetched? 

Two years later, he knows she wasn’t lying. Especially right now, as he’s watching you fall into the effects of it. He’s watching your pupils dilate with every gentle brush of his thumb over your lip, watching your breathing quicken in your still-heaving chest. 

This trick’s worked on you every time. And every time he does it, he feels bad about it, but he’s sure not stopping any time soon. Not when he gets to see you like this. 

Your eyes keep locking onto his mouth. You keep squirming in his grasp, body warm, skin dampening, and much more pliable than you were only a few seconds earlier. When your fingers dig into his shirt, he finds that they’re trembling. Whether it’s from the rage of your fight or the lack of his attention toward the mess you’re already making between your thighs, he doesn’t know. Maybe it’s both. 

“Clark,” you whine. Pitchy, breathy, irresistible. He ticks his jaw, annoyed with himself for being so turned on by this. By being able to control you this easily. He’s supposed to be a good man. He’s not supposed to get hard when you’re upset with him. 

“I’m here. I’ve got you, baby.” 

Your lidded eyes trace every single word that leaves his mouth. You moan at the pet name. His fingers, still curled around your jaw while his others grasp at your waist, pick up on the heat radiating from you. 

“Don’t like it when we fight.”

“I don’t like it either, honey.” 

Your knees buckle at the saccharine nickname he knows is your favorite—a slight jolt that makes him tighten his hold on you—and you start panting, start gripping him a little harder. 

Are your hips rolling against his? He pays no mind to it. Forces himself to take his thumb away from your lip, because you’re good and moldable for him already. Three rounds of feeding himself to you through an open wound’ll do it. He doesn’t need to take this any further.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to, though. 

“I love you,” you whisper to him. The inky blackness of your pupils eats up your irises. You’re soaking through your panties, making such a big mess that he can smell it. He should be excited—and part of him is—but his heart aches instead. When was the last time he had you this wet, this compliant, this soft and needy for him, without using his saliva to get you there? Must have been before everything started going downhill a few months ago. 

Oh well. At least you’re there now, right?

So he smiles at you. Sweet and crooked, the smile you’ve told him you love a thousand times before. Makes you whimper and has you bucking your hips up against his. You’re so hot that your skin is burning. Warm to the touch and a little bit damp. Just how he likes you. His trick worked like a charm.

“There’s my sweet girl. Was starting to think I’d never see you again, baby. I love you so much.” 

When his lower-octave purr hits your ears, you almost collapse. He felt it all. The way your knees gave out, the way you grabbed onto him a little harder, the way your heart started slamming so roughly behind your ribcage that it almost burst out of your chest. 

“Can I have a kiss?” you mercilessly, pathetically beg. Voice so soft and needy and whiney that he couldn’t possibly dream of resisting you. “I know—I know you don’t like to do it, but…I need one. Please?”

“Is a kiss gonna make you feel better?”

You hum and nod so hard that your head looks like it’s about to fall off. He finds himself laughing. Not mean, not teasing, just…laughing. Because he’s in awe. How has this trick worked for this long? How haven’t you built up an immunity by now?

Thank God you haven’t built up an immunity by now. 

“My needy girl always gets what she wants.” 

He licks his lips—getting them wet so he can keep you pliant—and leans down to press them against yours. His tongue gently glides against your bottom lip, making sure to take a little extra time on that cut there and causing you to suck in a brief wince. He pushes his way into your mouth without even a hint of resistance from you. Does its work. Keeps you easy. 

20 minutes ago, you’d have had his head on a pike if he kissed you when you were that mad. If he had so much as suggested a kiss 20 minutes ago, you would have walked out of that door and never came back. 

You break away not even 10 seconds later. Clearly woozy from the kiss, like he knew you’d be. Everything is so heightened for you that he’s surprised you even lasted that long. You press your forehead against his jaw. 

“Better?” Clark asks. Your answer is some sort of jumbled little confirmation. 

Your sticky, warm skin clings to his when you catch your breath, pull back, and try to reconnect the kiss. He lets you. You’re the one parting his lips to press your tongue against his, you’re the one licking into his mouth so you can get as close to him as possible, you’re the one tangling your hands in his hair and yanking on it so you can part for air after a pathetic 10 more seconds. And yet, after you gulp in a few deep breaths, you kiss him again. Surprise engulfs him when, this time, you suck on his tongue. 

Couldn’t hold the moan that burst from his chest back if he tried. 

It’s the first time in a couple weeks that you’ve paid any sort of positive attention to him at all, and he loves it. He loves you. If his girl wants a kiss—or two, or three—she’ll get one. Matter of fact, he’d let you do anything if it meant he got to keep you forever. He just might be able to do that if you keep sticking your tongue down his throat and sucking on his like you just did. 

He pulls away when he senses that you’re losing yourself in him. That realization comes through your landing a particularly rough bite on his bottom lip before you start kissing his chin, his jaw, and his neck, leaving a trail of tiny wet patches in your wake. 

Clark cradles your face in his hands to stop you from diving in for another kiss. Gives you a chance to breathe and gives him a moment to drink you in when you’re not mad at him. Your precious, soft, absolutely lovedrunk face. His poor baby. So far gone—eyes half-lidded, lips kiss-swollen and glistening from your messy litany of kisses, skin hot to the touch and chest heaving as you claw at his shirt and stumble over your own two feet while you drag him backwards toward your bed. 

You’re more than pliable enough, now. 

Clark swipes his thumb over your bottom lip, thumb dampening from the filthy kisses you’ve shared with him, a mix of your saliva and his. You chase after the contact and tilt your head into his palm when he slips his thumb down toward your jaw. 

He puts on his best soft, deep voice and asks, “Gonna let me take care of you, now, baby? Let me apologize?” before you can yank him down onto your bed.

He gets a soft hum from you. A nod. Of course he does. You’d never say no to him when you’ve got this much of his “love potion”—as Kara would call it— coursing its way through your veins. So he takes your confirmation that he knew he’d get, lifts you up, and lets you indulge in your forced desires.  

Clark’s form of an apology isn’t an actual apology. He doesn’t say sorry to you anymore. When has it ever soothed your anger, anyway? 

Instead, he apologizes by burying his face between your legs. He never has to give you much after you’ve kissed. A gentle circling of his tongue around your clit for a handful of seconds is enough to get you to come undone for the first time. The next is a little harder to work for, but if being between your legs and humping the mattress to get his own relief could be a full time job, he’d apply for it immediately. 

“Clark!” you groan while arching off the bed. While you’re being thrown off the proverbial cliff, falling into your third climax in an obscenely short time frame.  

Your body is a gorgeous symphony to him when you’re like this. Everything you do is music to his ears when you’re in this bed. The roughness of your breathing, the sheets rubbing against your heated, sticky skin, the lewd squelch of your wetness as he drives two fingers in and out of you, the moans you sing out when he curls those fingers up to hit the soft, spongy spot that he loves to abuse until you’re boneless beneath him. 

“Coming! Fuck, I’m coming! Don’t—ah! Don’t stop!” you babble. There’s a string of curse words attached to the end of that jumbled declaration. Clark just hums and continues eating. Slips his fingers out of you to replace them with his tongue. The rough push of his nose against your clit forces a full-body jolt out of you. 

You keep screaming for him to continue, to go deeper, to not stop, and he gives it all to you until you’re falling apart. It’s not like it was his intention to stop. Wouldn’t dream of stopping now. Wouldn’t deprive himself of the pleasure of being glued to your pretty pussy like this. 

He’s not sure when he became so selfish. Maybe it was the first time he kissed you to manipulate you. Well, it’s not manipulation. Not if you were the one who asked for a kiss. That’s what he tells himself, at least. 

“Shit!” you hiss while you collapse back down on the bed with a heavy thump. Your body’s starting to give out. Mind’s been gone for a while, now; there’s no way you remember what that fight earlier was about. Perfect. Just where he wants you. Should be enough to buy him at least a couple days of peace. A couple days of not having to worry about you wanting to break up with him and him losing all his motivation to live. 

Clark smiles. Pulls back just enough to speak to you. When he pushes his thumbs against each of your folds and spreads you open, your whimpered response is telling him you’ve got tears in your eyes. You cant your hips up, bucking and squirming for him to give you more. 

How are you still begging for more when you’ve had so much already? Maybe he’s not the only selfish one here. 

“Look at the mess you made. Love it when she’s cryin’ for me like this, baby. Can’t believe I get to call this perfect little pussy all mine. How’d I get so lucky?” 

He pushes his filthy words into your thighs between kisses as though he’s praying to you. He is, in a way. Praying that you won’t leave him. Praying that he’ll get to keep you if he’s good enough at worshipping the altar of your body.

Those kisses slowly trail up your hips, your waist, your stomach. Each time he makes contact with you, he feels the goosebumps on your skin. Feels the way you shiver, the way you’re still weak for him even though he hasn’t kissed you in what feels like an eternity. 

He wants to kiss you. Wants to push you a little further. Wants you to go completely dumb so that you don’t have to think about how mad you are at him. So that, if he’s lucky, you’ll forget about everything altogether and just love him the way he loves you. Without hesitation. Without regret. 

For now, he refrains. Kisses up to your chest and sucks one peaked, sensitive nipple into his mouth while his thumb teases the other. A gentle back and forth swipe, one that he drew on your bottom lip just a little while earlier. 

He stops his kisses when he reaches your jaw. Tilts his head away from you when you try to kiss him. Nearly dies from the tiny, sad noise you push out when he doesn’t give you what you want. Clears his throat and gently spreads your legs with one knee. Somewhere along the way, he slipped his hand down to your overstimulated clit, and he earns a cute little moan from you when he starts tracing soft circles on it. 

“Gonna let me use her one more time, honey?”

“Last time,” you confirm while spreading your legs wider for him. You nod. “One last time.” 

Clark stills. Lifts his head so he can actually meet your eyes for the first time since this has all started. It’s a miracle that they’re still open. What’s not a miracle, though, is how your irises have started to return.

His blood chills. Threatens to freeze in his veins and render him useless. How long has it been since that aphrodisiac wore off? 

“Last time? You don’t mean that,” he mutters. The way his voice went up an octave is embarrassing. How could five words make him panic so quickly? 

“I told you I wanted to take a break,” you counter. Your arms wrap around his shoulders and your fingers play with the curls at the nape of his neck. Clark’s face starts to burn. Whether it’s from embarrassment, panic, or anger, he doesn’t exactly know. 

“You didn’t mean it when you said that, either.” 

He sighs. He knows what he has to do. He didn’t think it’d ever get this far, but if it means keeping you, it’s getting done. 

He steels himself and sends you a fake smile. You probably clocked it. He’s never been good at faking them with you. He brushes some of your hair off of your forehead and lowers his face towards yours. His voice is a whisper when he finds it again. 

“We’ll talk about it later.” 

You huff at him. Press your lips into a thin line but turn toward his palm when it slides down your cheek. Soon enough, his thumb is gliding over your lip again. He always seems to find it. This time, though, he’s got a reason. 

He swipes it back and forth. Gentle. Unassuming. Considers it a win when you tilt your chin up for him to continue the tiny, comforting movement. He regains some confidence in his voice now that he’s accepted his fate and knows what he has to do here. 

“Be a good girl and open up for me, baby,” he commands while he drags his thumb down your chin. For someone who wants a break so badly, you comply immediately. The smile he sends you is genuine, this time. 

“That’s it. Just like that, sweetheart.” 

As soon as you’ve got your mouth open, chin tilted up, he does it. He stares into your eyes as he lets a single, heavy dribble of his saliva fall onto your tongue. Just enough of it to bump up the concentration of the aphrodisiac without knocking you out completely. 

“Swallow,” he coos when he closes your mouth for you. Smiles when you do as he says without skipping a beat. 

“Atta girl.”

When he finally tears his focus away from your mouth to look at your entire face, he sees everything he wants:

Blown out pupils and utter devotion. 

you don't get his vitriol or what you, in particular, did to piss him off. but he becomes a battering ram to your ego. a man you can't seem to win over or find some semblance of common ground no matter how hard you try—and you do try. so much so, that it almost becomes an obsession. driven into a primal state of flight or flight: get his approval no matter the cost or die of humiliation trying—the latter of which seems to be the only viable outcome as the three weeks beneath him become what can only be described as a humiliation ritual. a psychological experiment—his voice starts to sound like dinner bells: tears welling in your eyes the moment he appears in your periphery. primed, like a dog, to weep on command whenever he's around. and that, in itself, becoming another sort of hell when his voices carries through the room when he catches sight of them: come on, crybaby, save the waterworks for someone who cares.

(crybaby becomes a nickname you can't shake, one he won't let you—but when the other med students, ones eagerly lapping at the jowels of the beast that decided you were the morsel it wanted and not them—try to tap into the mockery, he snaps at them. goes off on anyone else who uses it in his presence, like bullying you was just for him and him alone—)

but despite the harsh treatment, which while brutal, blistering, it's often waylaid by the devastating competency of his lessons. the reason why he's able to get away with a shocking lack of decorum, and why everyone around him seems to go soft at the knees, bowing out in order to stay out of his way (and in these terse moments, Garcia's poignant wisdom always seem to come back and haunt you with a viciousness only matched by the waspish doctor she tried warning you about: some advice, crybaby? just stay the fuck outta his way and let him do his job. maybe stop whimpering long enough to listen to what he's saying—might learn a thing or two) reveals itself within minutes of meeting him. he's sharp tongued and surly, but it's undeniable that he's an expert in his field. jowels dripping with both ire and proficiency—two facets he wields with an unshakeable deftness. it almost makes the punishment worth it in the end—

almost.

but for as much as there is an acute sense of awe in being beneath him, the abject misery of failing short of success in leaving a modicum of a good impression (or even just impressing the imposing man) is enough to leave you bereft at the end your rotation. reeling, almost, because for as much as you like to fill empty space with empty words, everyone else seems to like you well enough, and your ego (which really should be non-existent after three weeks under that horrible glower) is sufficiently bruised enough for you to feel some sense of desperation—like a kicked dog that doesn't know what it did to make someone so angry.

and like a kicked dog, you just can't help yourself when you come crawling back a day after your rotation ended, knocking on his office door with the words you rehearsed in the mirror for five hours running through your head—

not that it matters much because the moment he's in front of you, all of it is drowned out by the sound of the bell ringing in your ears.

"what? got something to say to me, or are you just gonna pout at me all night, crybaby—"

and he's not wrong. tears are already brimming in your eyes. all you can do is there and gape at him as he huffs and shuffles you inside. too busy trying to stifle the hitch in your throat to notice him turn the lock. too caught up in the size of him like this, in an office that feels comically too small to fit him in it, much less you. and it's not like you weren't aware of how big he is. the brooding eyes and the glower are usually noticed secondary to the absurd size of him cutting through a room with an unmatched sense of urgency. biceps you laid awake at night thinking about. easily coming to the conclusion that even with both of your hands wrapped around the thick of his arm, your fingers wouldn't meet. but still.

you've never really been alone with him, have you? and something about the way he's staring down at you, gaze slipping to trace the tears running down your numb cheeks, makes you feel like every bit of the dumb dog you are, one with too much prove and no way of knowing how—

—or maybe, he says after the tear he's been feasting on falls into the collar of your scrubs. something ugly cuts through the pallid brown of his eyes—a spark that makes your you stomach twist into knots as he looms over your head, looking down the barrel of his nose at you.

"maybe you just wanted my attention—"

dogs are good at picking up new tricks, especially ones so eager to please, and when he curls his hand around the meat of your throat, the baleful glare from before is peeled back into something a little less hateful, a little more base; a grunt slipping out when your eyes flood once again, the reason for his singular anger made apparent when he drags you closer and you can feel his cock thicken against your belly, twitching when the tears roll down your stinging, sticky cheeks. he bends down until his mouth is flush against the corner of your eye, picking up your tears with a groan—the agony of a starving man. bearing his teeth against your skin as the sound of his stomach echoes in the throaty rasp of scathing words:

is that why you keep showin' me those pretty tears, huh?