I’m probably less sentimental and whimsical than the average bear but my brother is even less sentimental than I am so I’ll be like wow isn’t that a beautiful sunset and he’ll be like “it’s a sunset. There is nothing remarkable about it.” and then take photography of it that’s amazing and well done and then I compliment him as a fellow photographer and say I like his art and he’s like “it’s really easy to do” and I’m like “can you take a compliment” and he’s like “why should I” and then I have to fight back the urge to judo flip him

Does your brother have any happiness left in life??

On the occasions that he does laugh he laughs very loudly and forcefully I will say that. I’d never tell him that he laughs loudly though because then he might try to stop doing it or something

I love tumblr more than IG bc IG feels like I’m posting looking for a job but on here it’s like I already lost the job and my wife and the house and I’m just sitting on the curb talking to myself

anyway never stop making character with facial scars. characters of all sorts with scars of all sorts whether they're backstory-based or just because you like the look, and especially if they're not your typical gruff fighter type character, but go ahead with those too. I love you characters with facial scars

don't let anyone convince you it's too edgy or superfluous or whatever to give a character a facial scar, or any scar, for that matter. scars are a very interesting vehicle for characterisation and a fascinating part of human bodies and the more characters with (neutrally or positively presented) scars the more comfortable and better folks can feel about their own. characters with scars forever and ever

oh and they're also massively sexy. just as an added bonus

Wild caught clownfish will be like ‘hm you see, the anemone you got me is a slightly different color and tentacle width than the one I had back home, so I will not begin hosting it. I’ll be a sort of wandering ronin for the rest of my days.’ And then a captive bred clownfish will be like ‘ok so I have this curved rock I found and I just sit above it and it take care of me 👍’

I am losing my shit

everyone trying to get me in the uber

My cat Nosse had tooth surgery, and had a very strong reaction to the drugs given so he was high as a kite for a lot longer than expected. Apparently he was so desperately cuddly for people that they put him around the neck of one of the nurses doing paperwork, and he just hung there for an hour, purring like a chainsaw, drooling on her shoulder.

This show is an accurate portrayal of how artists are hopeless dumbasses and we need a producer type to bring us back to earth to get anything meaningful done and I’m here for it

a princess maintains her majesty when eating children’s cereal in a tanktop and spotted panties

"Tattoos are becoming unpopular", "piercings are unpopular again", "keep your hair natural never dye it again, it's the trend now" literally fuck off I know what y'all are doing

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

I don't remember finding fart jokes particularly funny even when I was a child.

Five year old me, watching a movie with fart jokes: "Oh, how gauche. They're pandering to the lowest common denominator."

My parents unearthed a bottle of wine from 2001 out of somewhere yesterday and decided to split it between themselves and I jokingly went “Ooh, careful with that, some real bad stuff happened that year.” when they told me about it. Not even half an hour later, my mom was so drunk off it she got FURIOUS at my dad for remembering the last name of some ex girlfriend of his well enough to spell it, something she has never done before and has zero memory of after waking up today so I’m starting to think that shit might have been cursed for real.

I said this has never happen before but I just remembered I that did see my mom get this exact kind of incoherent rambling drunk instead of just tipsy exactly once before: she was given a bottle of Ricard anise whiskey as a gift and drunk some of it without knowing it’s supposed to be diluted with a considerable amount of water before being consumed. Then she read in a news website that this one comedian (someone she had never been a huge fan of, I should add) had just passed away and started straight up wailing. Like, you’d think she knew the guy personally the way she was crying about it. After that, she declared to the whole family that she was keeping a very important secret but we’d have to wait ten years to hear it and then proceeded to sleep throughout the whole afternoon. She couldn’t remember any of that when she woke up.