Live by the sword, hit rock bottom by the sword

having someone go above an beyond for you is romantic in theory only in reality all we're doing is him going "I'm walking over to your place it's only 30 minutes" and me going "NO stay there it's too hot to walk I'll try calling the taxi again (3 failed attempts)" Unstoppable Forcevich meets Immovable Objectovsky

so many dudes try to apologize to me for not having a six pack or not being shredded or whatever and I'm like BOYS it's fat bear week every week here and I'm a helpless little salmon come GET ME

I'm having weird dreams about emmrich dragonage again idk if that's good or bad? I don't remember the half of it but I remember he fell down some stairs and everyone thought he was dead and I was the only one rushing to turn his corpse over and see if he was still alive. And then somehow we ended up in a fancy horse-drawn carriage and he was weak but breathing and smiled warmly at me and we waved back at everyone as we drove away cinderella-style

I made my mom a meal plan chart where she could pick/mix and match what meals she wanted to eat for the week and suddenly she's like "This has made my life so much easier! Maybe I do have ADHD after all" oh my god finally

I laid down at 1 am and put on a podcast about the fall of civilisations and I just laid there trying to sleep but all I did was absorb genghis khan and his postal relay system facts and now it's 4 am somehow and I have a massive headache

kinda stings when I show someone my digital art and they ask "but have you done anything in traditional media, though" no I instinctively use my great big gnashing teeth to snap any pencil, paintbrush or other traditional drawing implement I come into contact with into many little unusable pieces

At this point I'm sending my CV to places that haven't even put up any ads. You Will Suffer Me

hooked up with this guy and midway through while we were taking a break the conversation for some reason got me yapping about how increasingly embarrassing the crusades were and he was like "wow hearing you talk about all that makes me so horny let's just get back to it" and, unless genuine, it was a pretty polite way to tell me to shut the hell up