i need fluff buck and eddie. where eddie is secretly a physical touch of a man. but he was built to be a specific type of man. full of toxic concepts of upbringing but somehow he managed to become this sunshine of a dad and emotionally complicated of a man. so i need buck to be the one reincarnating that part of eddie.
buck is so into the trend of 5 love languages quiz era shit and he was hm, why not? so he takes exactly 6 quizzes just to make sure it increases percentage of him getting the most precise love language.
words of affirmation 4, quality time 1, gifting 1.
okay. he can actually see it.
“eddie, what do you think your love languages are?”
eddie sips his coffee, eyes begging to be closed. they’re in their 24h shift. everyone is asleep except both of them. buck is sprawling on the couch. eddie sits adjacent to him.
“hm, im not sure.” eddie ponders.
he eyes buck, “maybe a little bit of everything?”
“do you wanna take the quiz?”
eddie chuckles, “no, buck. thank you. i am fine with my crossword puzzles.”
buck doesn’t push. but he will find it out.
a few days gone by. buck receives a screenshot of eddie’s love language result.
buck thinks, hm eddie was never too much of physical touch type of person. they are around each other almost 24/7 but just some gentle touches here and there. they never linger more than 5 seconds. except with chris, which is fair, that’s his son.
buck 🐶 replies: cool cool.
thats why he always takes online tests or quizzes multiple times so he gets accurate result. oh, well. eddie taking one already meant a lot to him so he’ll settle for that.
maybe it’s because of his hyperfixation on love languages but he starts to notice how eddie is actually really into physical touch. (lets pretend this goes on in the span of three to four months months, ok? thanks.)
1. chris had wanted to go to the beach for a while now, so eddie drags buck along because buck is his snacks lifeline. buck notices how eddie puts one hand on chris’ shoulder, and the other inside his jacket. its windy. he does not let it go until they reaches their spot. even after he applies sunscreen for chris, he keeps a firm on chris’ shoulders as he gives him a pep talk. dos and donts at the beach.
buck watches them. he smiles at the sight.
“you want some?” eddie offers him the sunscreen.
“sure.” buck lathers himself with the sunscreen.
2. whenever eddie is upset, he will do three things. one, he will have that mild pout on his lips ALL DAY with slightly furrowed eyebrows. second, he will not bother to put gel in his hair and just let his hair roams free. third, he will always have something to hold on to. it can be a pillow, blanket, mugs, or sometimes he just clasps his hands together until he found something to hold.
(skips to el paso arc, but eddie never moved. not yet. and that time buck and eddie live together. yep. mad that we didn’t get any scenes so lets go!)
right now, it’s all three. eddie, however, has chosen to wrap himself with a blanket and hug a bolster in his bed.
“you alright? do you have a fever?” because eddie does not sleep with a blanket. he runs hot.
buck went out for a quick gym session and grocery run, which eddie bailed because he said he was not feeling well.
“no, im fine.” he replies, to which buck huffs.
buck drops his keys on the dining table, and puts away the groceries. then, he walks over to eddie and places his palm onto eddie’s forehead. eddie glares at him.
“buck, im fine. just a headache.” he says dismissively, as he grabs the bolster tighter to his chest and buries his chin into it. buck of course does not buy any of that.
“okay. you know i don’t believe you right?” he takes a sit on the mattress.
eddie looks at him. he’s sad, and buck can see his whole face crumples for three seconds before burying his whole face, hiding behind the cotton blanket.
“eddie, man, talk to me.” buck panics. eddie rarely cries. he has a talent of stopping the tears from running down his face freely. now? eddie is sobbing. and his mind flashes back to the last time he watched eddie broke down in tears. and he was so afraid to touch eddie. as if eddie would turn him down.
buck is not sure of what to do. but his head is too tired from the gym, and eddie has been in a wreck since chris left and buck cannot do anything but watch chris walked out the door and go to el paso.
his mind blanks. and from there, it’s just instinct working its way with his further actions.
he scoots closer to eddie, pries away the blanket, and places a hand onto eddie’s back. he rubs circles with a steady rhythm. his other hand finds its way into eddie’s hair, soothingly brushing them away from eddie’s temple.
eddie does not stop crying. in fact, it gets a lot worse. but his hand that has been holding onto the bolster searches for buck’s and he holds it. he drags them close to his chin. the grip is deadly. buck feels so lost.
it’s okay. i can fix this. i can make him feel better.
so he moves his hand from eddie’s back to his left cheek. trying his gentlest to catch all the tears from his left eye. when he thinks eddie won’t calm down soon enough, he just caress the skin there. eddie feels hot under his touch – burning with sullen and heartbroken. and eddie leans into the feel of skin meeting skin.
eddie slows down. his crying is nowhere near hysterical anymore. he raises his head slowly, avoiding eye contact but never let go of buck’s hand. the grip has loosen too.
“come on, sit up. i’ll get you water.” buck instructs but eddie tightens his grip.
buck halts, “okay. you can take your time.”
buck wipes away the remaining of eddie’s tears. his eyes are so red, his face is blotched.
eddie takes a lot of deep breaths, before rubbing his eyes aggressively with his arms.
“sorry. i didn’t mean to–”
buck hums, very well aware that they are still holding hands.
“are you feeling better?”
eddie sighs, “i guess. a little bit.” his voice is hoarse. “i need water.”
buck moves to walk, which means they will not be holding hands but eddie moves too, his grip tightens once again. buck watches him, but does not question. he leads eddie to the kitchen. only when eddie sits down, he lets go of buck’s hand.
eddie drinks the water, buck sits down on the chair next to him, pulling it closer to eddie. instinct says eddie needs the proximity.
buck scans eddie. his eyebrows still scrunched up. hands clasped together in silent prayer. few spots of tears stained his t-shirt.
“chris…he still won’t talk to me. never answered my texts. my calls. and i exploded to my parents.”
eddie feels his body starts to shake, eyes filled with water. it’s just too intense.
“what did they say to you?” buck feels the anger seeping into his veins.
“that im a failure. and i just– i remember how they told me that chris is – that i will only drag him down with me. and some part of me thinks that, fuck, maybe they were right after all.”
buck nods, leaning into his chair, calculating all the possible words he could say to eddie to make him feel better. but he needs to speak some truth to it too.
“you know, eddie, i am not supporting your decision with kim. i think that was wrong. but that does not mean that you are a failure. not after everything you did and will do for chris.”
eddie stares at buck, tears falling down his eyes. buck moves closer and wipes them off. eddie does not react. he just listens.
“we make mistakes. that’s just how we are wired. but your parents have no right to take chris away from you. taking away the chance for you to fix this. they can’t say those things to you. and you cannot believe the voices in your head right now.”
eddie nods, but he just feel so tired. so he lets the tears escape anyways.
he stands up to walk to his bedroom. shaking his head to throw his sadness away. buck follows him, of course.
eddie climbs back into his bed. he sits there, wiping his face.
buck sighs, but gathers enough courage to sit beside eddie. “you get some rest. i’ll make you something to eat. okay?”
“i don’t know what i’d do without you, buck.”
buck chuckles. me too, eddie. me too.
eddie cracks a smile. ah, there you are.
3. after what happened. buck is much more receptive to eddie’s touches.
at the firehouse, when their legs plastered together on the couch even when there is more space for a grown person to sit – buck accepts it.
at his own house, when eddie crowds him in the kitchen in the name of watching buck cooks and asking what is the process – that is okay too. he kind of like the attention. make him feels like a real celebrity chef.
at eddie’s house, though, okay they just finished dinner and are settled on the couch to watch a movie. they were both laughing at something the main character says before eddie slumps sideway into buck’s side, resting his head on buck’s shoulder.
buck does not say anything.
he just let eddie have this.
and when the movie is halfway, he feels eddie shifts away but buck catches his hand and holds it on his lap.
eddie looks up at him. big brown eyes blinking, not quite sure what to ask or say.
buck smiles, feeling the nerves crawling under.
eddie smiles, shaking his head before looking back at the screen. “nothing.”
buck thinks, that maybe, something inside of eddie is healing.
neither of them want to move when the movie ends. and buck thinks again, if anyone should move, it should be eddie. always.
eddie squeezes his hand. “my hands get clammy whenever i hold someone’s hand.”
buck hums, “is that why you never hold anyone’s hand?”
he pauses before untangling their hands and wiping both of their hands with his shirt. he slots them back together. buck chuckles in amusement at the scene.
“or maybe i was just not brave enough.”
buck inhales a sharp breath. a question hangs in the air.
but eddie has the answer. “you on the other hand,” he raises their hands for emphasis and fun, “you never shy away from this. might be the bravest person i know.”
buck grins, eyes fluttering as he exhales a wet chuckle. “am i?”
“now you’re just fishing for compliments.”
buck laughs, “what can i do? my love language is mainly words of affirmation.”
“we make a great pair, don’t we?” his voice is very soft and quiet.
buck nods, a genuine and kind realization welcomes him. “we do.”
after that day, eddie never hide himself anymore.
he asks for hugs when he feels like he cannot be in his skin anymore. (from hen, karen, hell even athena. mostly from bucks. especially the ones that last at least 20 seconds. at least.)
he demands a kiss on his forehead from his abuela and tia whenever they are near him. (which they gladly gives and a few pecks on the cheeks too.)
he lets buck roams his hands all over him whenever he feels the itch to be touched by the man that never let him feels like he is too much.
and as he moans buck’s name and says all the right words for buck to gives him everything, not too soft but too harsh, is when he feels more alive than he will ever be.
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