. prime example .

you're about to live in the reality you've been imagining everyday and you need to be ready for what comes with it.

there was a time where my ex was in town and we were listening to music in the car. i received a phone call from this guy that was trying to pursue me and i answered the call. he asked what i was doing and i said "i'm in my car listening to music and i don't want to talk." and then i think later when we weren't in the car anymore, i got a phone call from someone else and we talked for a short while.

later, my ex asked me why i didn't tell the dude that called me that he was with me. and i was like... "because it doesn't matter. he doesn't know you and i'm not interested in him or obligated to him so it's none of his business" and then he brought up the other call and he basically expressed that it was inconsiderate of the limited time we had to spend.

i felt connected to that moment because that has often been my experience. but the trend is that i will reluctantly tell someone how something they do or say makes me feel and instead of them seeing it as an opportunity for us to work together to patch that area of misalignment or possible misunderstanding, they go into defensive mode and start arguing against what they perceive me to be accusing them of, which i then have to address and explain away - leaving my feelings completely lost and unaddressed.

it's something i'm working through because i never want to feel like me and my loved ones can't talk through our feelings with one another, and it's hard because of what i've experienced before, but that's what makes little moments like what happened last night mean so much to me.