woof woof

i wish my sewing machine was sentient so that i could show it videos of industrial machines sewing through leather and make it feel ashamed

i wish my sewing machine was sentient so that i could make it feel pain

smacks your butt as you scroll by

I follow the "leave nothing but footprints take nothing but photos" rule of state/national parks yeah because conservation. But also because when I was 11 i read a short story about a girl who went to a museum and stole a bandage flake off a mummy on display with the mentality of "im just one person one piece won't be missed" then at night she was visited by the mummy and it plucked a single hair from her head and then the next night a different mummy took another hair and she realized that there were only so many pieces to her before there would be nothing left and that story was forever wedged in my brain. Anyways leave cool rocks where you find them or the mummies will get you

eddie, who is straight and has proof bc tommy kissed him in vegas and he felt nothing only to get kissed by buck later and oh

actually, that sex scene is load-bearing

*dirty talking* you’ve been a very bad boy and im just going to straight up kill you now