The best Star Trek fics

oh he's your 'right hand man'? for what, jerking you off?

do it scared. do it stupid. but most importantly, do it bitching and moaning the entire time

the thing is I get that the increased use of starfleet as a military in ds9 and later tng compared to tos is a sign of the times and of the type of shows they are but the infinitely more funny possibility to me is that starfleet has always been a military, they just give kirk all the missions with any chance at shenanigans. The Balance of Terror was a Truman show fuck up on their part that they then had to bribe him with five episodes of shenanigans to forget about

Starfleet is a military and Kirk is their sluttiest soldier

there is a subreddit on star trek reddit called like r/xenorelationship dedicated to inter-alien-races relationships and jim's secret account (u/adassperaspera) is a local celebrity there. his imput is invaluable as he has one of the most diverse ranges of experience. he is however only expert in human/vulcan relationships number 2 because, as he realizes with horror at some point, amanda is also on reddit

oh this is hilarious. It's the parent/son in law version of You've got mail.

it was a stroke of genius to give James T Kirk a bitchy flip phone in the 60's, truly amazing to watch him slam it shut like a pissed off socialite girl in 2000's teen shows

remember that time that spock said “this is about sex” but he couldn’t say sex so instead he said “biology” and kirk clearly knew what he meant but was awkwardly like “what kind of biology” and spock got this look on his face like ‘oh lordy i’m not dealing with this today’ and said “vulcan biology” and kirk can’t say the word sex either so he goes “u mean the biology of vulcans” and then they stood there in silence for ten seconds like a pair of fucking idiots

i once wrote an entire academic paper with the central thesis of ‘everyone is kind of a dick to Data and it honestly kinda reflect how people treat neurodiverse people, which is also why we neurodiverse people relate to him so hard’

His poetry is good. Fight me.

Life-changing OCD hack is learning that you can literally call poison control to check if you fucked up and took medications wrong in a way that could kill you instead of having a panic attack while reading reddit and quora threads for an hour. They won't even be mad at you. Like obviously don't do it every day or something but genuinely you can do this if you need to