e mari merces

worry about it kitten daddy fucked up

Livin la penis smoka

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

you can still radiate light if you’re sad. you can still be kind and soft-hearted if you’re a bit cynical. you don’t need to be the happiest person to make someone else’s day better.

sorry for the nervous breakdown everyone im actuallt fine because i have to be

so many people don't understand how abelist it is to kill your brother with a rock

How your email finds me

you're mommy's good little printer aren't you? you'll print whatever mommy tells you to because otherwise mommy gets sad and leaves you for one of those free use library printer sluts

mommy needs you to print this document now and if you don't mommy is going to turn you off at the wall

listen to mommy okay? if you don't be a good little printer and fucking print my document and i know you want to okay mommy can see it in your print queue if you don't. print. my fucking document. mommy's going to get the hammer

You can’t call yourself a leftist if you hate children tbh, like you can choose not to have them or be around them, but outright hating the most marginalised group of people in the world who have absolutely no power or control over the most basic parts of their lives and bodies is a dangerous mentality to have and you need to grow the fuck up and get out of your edgy phase and start treating everyone around you like human beings, even the ones that piss you off.

The popularization of -maxxing in modern colloquial speech is the most surreal shit ever I saw someone say she was “oystermaxxing” the other day because she was eating oysters

Your 30s aren't too late. Don't let nobody tell you that stupid shit.

Your 40s aren't too late. Don't let nobody tell you that stupid shit.

#as long as you're alive it's literally never too late