As Canadian as possible under the circumstances

Actual quote was like, "He should have been dancing at the Chaumière, as young people have a moral obligation to do."

But it’s a parody of Master and Commander’s opening title

PNG'D! (i didn't know the font so this is taken directly from the image)

Part of socializing and having friends is being a good listener even when you don't actually give a shit about the subject.

Your are hurting other people's feelings when you bluntly respond with "Anyway..." and then change the topic.

It can not always be about your preferred topic.

Like 85% of tumblr users hate and loathe embarrassment based comedy with every fiber of their beings, but never in my life have I ever seen an author reassure their audience that the embarrassing scenes are skippable.

Lots of people dislike tragedy but never in my life have I ever seen an author reassure the audience that the death and grieving scenes are skippable.

Stop trying to pass off self-censorship as “accommodation.” Stop trying to pass off pandering as “inclusivity.”

Jacob with some spot-on Ilya character analysis (and general thoughts on sex-as-self)

Tony and Sarah have spent the last year supporting me in every imaginable way. They are there for me whenever I need them and it is amazing to be part of such a wonderful family, even if it’s not by blood. Plus, I’ve never had anyone as proud of me as Anthony is, I won an award for my performance poetry, and he put photos of my trophy on his facebook and twitter pages, raved about how incredible it was and wouldn’t stop telling me how proud of me he is.

Practical things like my keys, wallet, chapstick, of course. But also less conventional things like stray buttons, paperback books, little toys, nail clippers, and open bags of candy when I offered strangers new acquaintances candy they always said yes which either says they weren’t raised right or I’m more charming than years of being told not to do that.

I really loved my coats but I did sometimes need to move quicker than they allowed. I remember a friend’s utter astonishment when I saw someone I needed to run up to and said hold my coat. He was left holding my carapace and when I returned he couldn’t stop staring. “You’re so small under there, I’ve thought you were a normal person this whole time but it was all coat!”

At the doctors office getting weighed a week or so later I asked if I needed to take off my coat and boots. She said no, and I stepped on the scale. “A hundred and twenty pounds,” she announced.

My eyebrows shot up and I said, “Sorry, hang on.” I shucked my coat and boots to her impatience and stepped back on.

Her eyes widened and she looked back from me to the coat before saying accusingly, “Ninety seven.”