The Blood Ocean Splash Zone

highly recommend keeping a small portrait of a historical figure who met a grisly end on your work desk. for perspective.

haters will see you ressurect and be like “he cant afford a funeral”

#highly caffeinated snail going faster but to a degree imperceptible to humans and mindblowing to fellow snails

@beastliness

hey, tag this with a food people get really upset about you not liking

this is going around again and the tags are full of people talking about printing it out to put in their breakroom or cubicle or sending it to their coworkers, which fills me with great joy. vast diversity of professions represented also. zoos. labs. summer camps. restaurants. garden centers. libraries. schools. many reports from the brave warriors of assorted retail. a truth universally acknowledged: if there is a sign a customer will not read it <3 and they don't read emails either <3

my new spell Zone of Explosive Decompression is apparently…what was it…oh yes, “raising some ethical concerns”

I was informed that using the phrasing “pop alveoli like cheap balloons” while describing my new spell was quote unquote “distressing”. which, well, that is certainly an opinion one could have.