Spicy Cheese

tall ships caught in a squall in Sandy Hook Bay, New Jersey, 2026

free/pay what you want printable pdf!

i am once again making a silly little zine abt covid safety but this time it is very unserious and not educational at all so if ur new here and dont know what the Heck i am on about. here's a place to start!

id:

slide 1:

a photo of the front cover of a black & white printed zine held up in front of a quilt in the background. top text of the zine cover reads: "reasons I love wearing my mask in public" with bottom text in parentheses: "besides the on-fire garbage can that is public health these days." a cartoon drawing of Maria, a pale genderfluid person with a buzzcut and glasses, is winking and doing a peace sign. she is wearing a boat-style mask with a star mask chain and crayon earrings.

slide 2:

top text: "1: I haven't had a man tell me to smile in 6 years." Below is a drawing of Maria walking down the sidewalk wearing a black mask, a cat cropped t-shirt, patched jeans, & star earrings. They are carrying a Mitski tote bag and look unbothered with their eyes closed as a man who looks a lot like the distracted boyfriend meme holds up a finger as if he was about to speak, but just looks confused as his speech bubble reads "..." Bottom text: "I simply cannot go back."

slide 3:

Top text: "2: I don't have to make facial expressions." Below Maria is waving and wearing a polo shirt, blank face emoji earrings, & an apron that says "JOB" with a name tag attached. Maria stares blankly behind her mask. Bottom text: "autism wins!"

slide 4:

Top text: "3: I can sing to myself on walks without being spotted by traffic." Below is Maria strolling down the sidewalk with cars in the background, wearing a mask, a baseball cap, and a Phantom of the Opera t-shirt. Maria has a speech bubble of floaty text singing "aangel of muuusic" with music notes floating around.

slide 5:

Top text: "4: mask chains!" below is a boat-style mask with a mask chain made of letter beads that spell "yippee." Bottom text: "another layer of accessory-maxxing."

slide 6:

Top text: "5: adds to my aura of being the mysterious and unknowable coworker." Below Maria stands in their job apron with a black mask & mushroom earrings surrounded by question marks. Text around Maria reads "what do they look like??" "we are literally on the clock!!" "wouldn't you like to know weatherboy!!"

slide 7:

Top text: "6: nobody knows I'm eating fruit snacks." Below is Maria with her mask on wearing strawberry earrings looking nonchalant as text points to her saying "maria acting normal." In the bottom left corner we see through the mask like an x-ray showing Maria chewing as she holds a scooby-doo gummy. Text pointing to this drawing reads "the REAL maria."

slide 8:

- Due to storms, they had to evacuate the National Mall grounds. But the MAGA crowd didn't want to leave. They just stood around chanting "USA! USA!" They were convinced liberals were messing with the weather. Reportedly, one of the security guards got so fed up that he threw a chair at them.

- Fox News didn't have anything to share while they were waiting for Trump's delayed speech, so they just showed a feed of him staring at the TV. And he was watching Fox News.

- A bunch of the crowd that was evacuated wasn't even let back in, and they were raging about it on social media. Some of them waited 10 to 12 hours in record-setting heat (102°F) and never got to see anything. All special passes were canceled. So much for money privilege.

- Because the program was running so far behind, several performers were cancelled.

- Trump's speech began at 11:15 p.m., after a sizeable amount of his followers had abandoned the event. It was unremarkable in just like all of his other ones- a bunch of "America is the greatest nation," blaming Democrats for everything bad, and general gibberish.

- The fireworks didn't begin until almost midnight, so they ended on July 5th.

- They wanted to have more fireworks than ever before, but they set off so many that the sky was covered in light, and it just looked like everything was on fire. The finale was not visible due to the smoke.

- Trump appeared to fall asleep during the show.

- The immense amount of pyrotechnics fucked up the air in DC