TrankilTylus

The batkids (minus Dick) all end up sent back to the past when Dick was like 15ish. They landed in the Batcave, so Bruce has kept them all in the manor to run tests and to try to figure out a way to send them back once they’ve managed to prove that they aren’t some new weird group of villains.

Except little teenage Dick Grayson has been off with his new buddies the Titans for the last several days, and Bruce just conveniently forgot to mention to his only child that there are now many, many other kids that all look scarily similar to him in the manor.

Dick comes back and pretty much steps one foot inside the manor, sees a gaggle of black haired children of various ages and sizes, and immediately snaps his attention to the nervous looking Bat trying to hide in the corner because Dick immediately also drops his bag with a thump and shouts, “Bruce, what the FU–”

“It’s not what it looks like!”

“I was only gone for a WEEK!”

“It’s really not what it looks like!”

“Did you seriously replace me after a WEEK?”

“It’s really, really not what it looks like!”

“You know, Roy said! Roy said you’d be a douche just like Oliver! And I said! I said no way, not my Bruce, not a chance! But I come home after a week to A THOUSAND OTHER KIDS THAT LOOK LIKE ME?”

“There’s like maybe 6 of us,” Jason scoffs.

“Shut up, Thing 3!”

“Fuck you! At the very least, I’m Thing 2!”

“BRUCE WHAT THE FUCK!”

“They’re from the future! They showed up in the cave, I’m working on getting them back to their proper time!”

Dick is quiet for a moment, his breathing heavy, his jaw tight. He looks like he might be calming down. He closes his eyes a moment. Takes a deep breath. Okay. He’s starting to look more like the big brother they’re all used to.

Until he opens his eyes again and starts shouting, “YOU REPLACE ME WITH A MILLION OTHER KIDS IN THE FUTURE? BRUCE WHAT THE FU–”

“STOP SWEARING AT ME OR YOU’RE GROUNDED!”

“TRY IT AND I’LL RUN AWAY TO CLARK AND TELL HIM HOW YOU REPLACED ME!”

They bicker back and forth like that for longer than any of them thought possible. They’ve seen the two of them fight before, sure, but it’s not usually this long winded.

me: yeah, i posted on tumblr

publisher: .........tumblr?

me: that's where the gays are.

publisher: And what is your marketing strategy on... tumblr?

me: idk, i shitpost at 2am?

publisher: .....and it works?

me: depends on what the gays find funny at that point in time.

publisher: Could I have a link to your tumblr?

me: .......absolutely not.

publisher: I've been looking into tumblr, have you thought of using Blaze to promote your book?

me: NO

publisher: But it seems like an efficient way to get this in front of more eyes-

me: people on tumblr hate Blaze.

publisher: There is no algorithm and you can't pay to promote a post? I don't understand how anyone advertises anything on tumblr.

me: That's the best part. They don't. They can't.

(trying to make him understand that we do not control the attention. We just have to show something shiny and gay enough and if people are interested, they'll reblog.)

where the silence settles; joshua tree, california

You’ve seen him, you’ve heard him, he probably stole that jacket from Janus, please welcome to the stage—Anxiety!