Ea-Nasir Denies His Crimes in the Style of "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy (in Akkadian/Ancient Babylonian):
Nanni īrub u lu’am īmuranni- Nanni came in and defiled he saw me,
Werâm uṣīd ina bēt ṭuppim- Melting copper in the tablet room,
Annûm amur; anaku erêku- Picture this, I was naked,
Maḫīr’ ēpuš ina bēt qātim- Doing trade in the closet.
Nadān šuāti naptâm ūtaššer, attadinši - The giving him a key I forgot about; I gifted her [the key],
Adi anāku ina Dilmun, naptâm ētezibšušši- While I was in Dilmun I bequeathed the key to him,
Ṭiṭṭū ana ubānī- The clay on my fingers,
Itamma īmurši- He swears he saw it,
Ṭuppū ana bēt maḫīrim- The tablets at the market,
Ḫālilum ana kārim- The spy by the harbor,
Werûm ša iṣṣūd- The copper that melted,
Siparrum ša izzūb- The bronze that dissolved,
Gubārū sarrūtim- The false ingots,
Šikarum lemnūtim- The unsatisfactory beer
Nanni īrub u lu’am īmuranni- Nanni came in and defiled he saw me,
Werâm uṣīd ina bēt ṭuppim- Melting copper in the tablet room,
Annûm amur; anaku erêku- Picture this, I was naked,
Maḫīr’ ēpuš ina bēt qātim- Doing trade in the closet.
Nadān šuāti naptâm ūtaššer, attadinši - The giving him a key I forgot about; I gifted her [the key],
Adi anāku ina Dilmun, naptâm ētezibšušši- While I was in Dilmun I bequeathed the key to him
Eleppum ēzibšu- The ship I left behind,
Našpārum eṣlāšu- The envoy I insulted,
Aššatum anīkši- The wife I fornicated with,
Rikbī ēzibšunūti- The crew I left behind,
Šūdadū pilpilânūtim!- The homosexual lovers,
Šunu karṣī zaprūtim- They are malicious lies,
Kamān qunnabim ēpi- The cannabis cakes I baked,
Nabalkattum edkēši- The mutiny I instigated,
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