Why drop your standards so low as to follow me

watching through breaking bad for the first time after watching this countless times and finding the source of every sound in this video was maybe the best possible tv watching experience I could have ever had

Having your main anxiety response be Avoidance is crazy cause you'll think you're chillin and then one day you're like waitttt I've been paralyzed with fear this whole time. Damn

Was anybody else playing dead the whole time they were teenagers or is that just a me problem. Like I'm 20 now and I'm like Oh shit I didn't do anything. Because I'm scared

And you see. Now I'm scared because I haven't done anything. Everything in the world is so scary and I am not medicated. I've been waking up sweaty the last few days. I hold so much tension you wouldn't believe. But to everyone else I just look like I'm chillin

i do not think that’s an officially-sanctioned wizard orb

well you’re one to talk

I SUMMON KETAMINE APE

THATS NOT LEGAL

ATTENTION: THE COUNCIL HAS DETECTED AN ILLEGAL SPELL. DISPEL KETAMINE APE OR FACE THE FULL PENALTY OF WIZARD LAW

don’t ever duel me or my son again

teens gathering at the lake edge acting casual pretending to not be shoplifting water. we can see your buckets

a couple months ago someone sent me an ask asking if I’d ever heard of Boquila trifoliolata and I was like ‘no way. this can’t be real’ and i looked it up and it was and I forgot about it until just now when my supervisor and I got sidetracked and I looked it up again to prove to her that it’s real and found out that not only does this plant vaguely mimic the leaves of whatever plant it’s vining on, it does it when it climbs on fake plants too so any theories about how it does it that include gene transfer or chemicals or touching it in any way are just out the window and those were like, the only theories the original researchers had about how it might be doing it. so anyway I am screaming and crying and whatnot

Don’t like this at all! Thank you!!

we are going to have to bring back “smex”

shrex

I will design 200 catchy and professional pinterest pins only for $5. https://www.fiverr.com/share/VNk0Vz

Audio: Two guinea pigs munching away on broccoli. One of them picks up its broccoli and bonks the other on the head with it, with a cartoon sound effect

quilly joel

Sci-fi short stories are so efficient; they take 15 minutes to read and then you think about them for the next 5 years

Hey guys, what if *puts the most horrifying mindblowing concept into your head with about 15 pages*

pandemic episode of malcolm in the middle: malcolm struggles to reconcile his commitment to quarantine safety measures with the fact that all the girls his age are so lonely and isolated that they're suddenly willing to go on dates with HIM, of all people. reese discovers that egging neighbors' houses still counts as a "socially-distanced" activity and has the time of his life. dewey does some mental calculus and realizes that he gets fewer wedgies per day from his brothers than he does from the school bully and decides he'll keep these lockdowns in effect at all costs, so he starts calling in fake pandemic data to local health districts to bump the numbers up. lois gets in a physical altercation with a non-masker at the lucky aide and starts duct taping people's mouths shut, which craig finds both alarming and oddly alluring. (craig then immediately gets infected from licking his hand to slick back his hair in a bid to impress her.) hal works from home but, after slacking off on the family computer all day, is driven to obsession by the thought of becoming the digital solitaire world champion.

Hal makes it to the finals of an online tournament and is moments away from winning the $100,000 prize but at the last second one of Reese's wayward eggs causes a neighborhood wide power outage. The episode ends with Hal wailing with anguish in the pitch black house.

thirty thousand notes and this is the only good addition anyone has made. you understand malcolm in the middle.