~*~galactic gâteau~*~*~

(:3 っ)∋ <- seal

people with siblings: how do you feel about them?

“Who yells?” Is unquestionably the best broad city line i think about it every time someone raises their voice even slightly

I need to stop getting emotionally invested in run down $15-$30 mid century furniture on fb marketplace that flippers keep snatching from under me lol

you basically have to have no job and scroll fb marketplace constantly I guess 😭

the most 2014 post possible

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use the worst part is everything else

what if it was called magic the slathering and it was about lotions and ointments

They were biramous bottom-feeding arthropods who could only breathe underway, so no, dumbasses

i asked them and they said thats not true and they love flowering plants