When Robin isnât home
KIROKAZE
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

if i look back, i am lost
ojovivo
AnasAbdin

Andulka

tannertan36
One Nice Bug Per Day
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
art blog(derogatory)

Janaina Medeiros
Sweet Seals For You, Always
trying on a metaphor

shark vs the universe

çĽćĽ / Permanent Vacation
todays bird
almost home
occasionally subtle

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@socalledspaceage
When Robin isnât home

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(via aceper)
insults i learned from wuthering heights
heâs such a cobweb, a pinch would annihilate him
cockatrice
Iâd rather be hugged by a snake
by chance, youâve managed tolerably
pitiful changeling
it is not poisoned, though I prepared it
donât degrade yourself into an abject reptile
thou saucy witch
behold my favorite classic
friendly reminder that ina garten, the host of barefoot contessa on food network, majored in economics and was in charge of writing the budget for the USâs nuclear program and drafted policy memos regarding construction of nuclear centrifuges under US presidents ford and carter
also she fund raises for planned parenthood and supports gay marriage so yeah this woman can budget, plan nuclear policy, and cook a mean meal and now u know
If you canât make the nuclear centrifuge yourself, store bought is fine.
Well that was unexpected
this is like the 10th time Iâve seen a sex toy-seeming thing turn out to be a magical girl transformation device
Please send me the other nine

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If you canât say anything niceš _____ šSay it in a footnote
One of the most beautiful commercials I have ever seen. Good on you, Amazon Prime.Â
Also just saying the music in the background is the piece âi giorniâ by Ludovico Einaudi and itâs the most perfectly beautiful piece for this advertisement.
I still cry and I think Iâve watched it 200times now. I canât
Everytime i watch it i start to love it even more
this legitimately gave me chillsÂ
This is so cute
Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched âPoison Bootsâ and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chinoâs foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking âHow many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for meâ.Â
There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.
or the one where the bridge never came out for Javertâs suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out
best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere
During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesus on the cross and accidentally grabbed the wrong spear- he was supposed to grab one with a fake tip, but instead he grabbed one with an actual metal tip and, well
Jesus screamed âJESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED MEâ.
Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadnât been adjusted.
So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage).
This is wild from start to finish
I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hookâs mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went âYOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!â in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)
In my seventh grade play, which was a midsummer nightâs dream, Thisbe didnât have a sword so she stabbed herself with a coathanger
My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and sheâd get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com âzombie Julietâ and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears.
i attended my countyâs performing arts high school majoring in vocal studies, (mostly geared towards musical theater and opera styles) and once a year we got a field trip to new york (we were in jersey, so itâs not exactly far). we would do one touristy thing, an actorâs workshop with friends of our teachers working in various performing industries in nyc, and then see a show.Â
my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadwayâs The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far.
in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa saying REMEMBERRRRRR as Simba climbs Pride Rock. the actor told us while struggling not to laugh that, during one nightâs performance, someone forgot to flip the tape of these pre-recorded noises.
so, at the end of the show, the great climax where Simba finally accepts his place in the Circle of Life, the heavens parted and-
PFFFFFFFFFRRRRRBTFTBTBFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
everyone froze. and then all ran off stage positively HOWLING with laughter.
the lesson: sometimes there are fuck ups you just canât recover from.
During a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, where I was assistant costumer and assistant prop master, our director decided that we needed to spice up Gastonâs introduction. You know: in the movie, when Lefou runs in trying to catch the duck/goose that Gaston has just shot out of the sky?
Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, two days before opening night, our director wants Lefou to run in from off stage and catch a stuffed duck that Gaston has just shot. This, of course, requires two things to work properly as a scene: a gunshot noise, and a stuffed duck.
The gunshot noise, we had covered. Blue-collar, redneck school? Guns a plenty to record. The stuffed duck? Harder than you might have thought to obtain.
Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store â˘, Iâd finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run.
Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didnât drop the it. Lefouâs actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. The stagehand then drops the bird squarely on Gastonâs head. Cue laughter.
Saturday Matinee: Different stagehand throws the bird instead of dropping it and beans Lefou directly in the face with the prop. Lefou falls over. Cue laughter.
Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from itâs place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefouâs conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stageâŚfrom the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle joke about Gastonâs gun going off late instead of early. Cue adults in the audience laughing.
Sunday Matinee: Director begs the stagehands to get the cue right at least once. Gunshot and bird prop go off without a hitch. Lefou accidentally catches the prop when it falls from the catwalk. Heâs so startled that he caught it that Gaston runs right in to him. They drop both the gun and the bird props, and grab the wrong prop in their scramble. Gaston spends the rest of the scene gesturing dramatically with a stuffed pheasant, instead of a gun.
Sunday Night:Â Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise - apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy.
Monday Elementary School Show: Lefou walks on stage with the bird. Accidentally drops the prop during conversation with Gaston. Gaston doesnât notice the dropped prop and steps on it. Cue depressingly sad squeaky toy noise. Cue ten years olds laughing.
In a dress rehearsal for Peter Pan, Wendy forgot one of her lines and started singing the star spangled banner and the audience was singing along and people got emotional
Once during the closing night of our high school production of south pacific, we were havin our pre-show pep talk, and our director reminded everyone (mostly seniors) not to go off script to try to be funny. Of course we had one lead who decided to ignore this advice. So during one scene where the sailors were âfishingâ at the edge of the stage, he decides to pull up his rubber fish, make a comment about how it wasnât big enough, and throw it back into the âoceanâ, which of course, was the audience. Now, this probably wouldnât have been too much of a problem if he had gently tossed it, since it would have landed right behind the pit. But naturalt, he decided that this fish had to break free in the most dramatic way possible, so he winds up and chucks this fucking foot-long rubber fish with all of his strength. So now imagine the stage crew, all of us huddled together, silently screaming as this limp fish goes sailing over the heads of the audience in what looks like a low-budget reenactment of free willy, only to slap some poor parent across the face. I swear, you could almost hear the chorus of âmmmm whatcha saaayyyâ rising from all those backstage. From that moment on, all rubber fish were ferociously guarded by yours truly, under the direction of our stage manager.
This post gets better every time it shows up on my dash
My Junior year of high school our drama club put on Peter Pan,which involved the construction of a small boat fashioned out of scrap wood,plaster and an old wagon. A few of the actors who were cast as pirates had to ride the boat-wagon down the aisle to the front of the theatre,which had a concrete floor that sloped. About halfway down the brake they were using to control their speed gave out,and they crashed into the front of the stage at high speed.The entire boat imploded. The actors just sat there in silence for at least a full 10 seconds in the midst of the wreckage before my friend Adena screamed âABANDON SHIPâ and they all jumped out and took off running.
My school once did a parody of Cinderella and I was Cinderellas dog. At one point Cinderella, the Fairy Godmother, and the dog had to flea the ball. I thought going down the stage steps wasnât dramatic enough for âfleeingâ so I launched myself off the stage and landed painfully in the center isle about three rows in accompanied with a very, very loud thump of face on concrete where I laid there like a dead fish for a while. At this point Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother got to me, not knowing what to do they stepped over me and continued running. But Cinderella had forgotten to loose her shoe so half way out of the room she chucked it back where it hit me in the head. I bolted upright and ran shrieking hysterically out of the room. A moment later the Prince came down to where the shoe was picked it up, looked dramatically at where I had exited and said âI hope that dogâs okay.â completely forgetting his line. Â
This may be my all time favorite post.Â
I was once in a production of âHello Dolly!â and the two leads were complete jokers and would prank each other during rehearsals all the time. The rest of the cast never thought they would do that during a show, but they told the chorus (separately) that they each were planning to add some tongue into the final kiss between Dolly and Horace. Of course, we told neither of them about the otherâs plan, so during the very last show, we were all waiting in the wings to see what would happen. What happened was we ended the show with the two leads violently frenching each other on stage as the curtain dropped. They started dating two weeks later.
Last year we did âOnce Upon a Mattressâ and the jester was supposed to do a somersault off of a stack of like 3 mattresses and then the minstrel and Lady Larken would be covered up with a blanket, but during one show the jester knocked down one of the mattresses and we had no time to fix it so we had to throw the mattress on top of them
In my Freshman year of high-school we put on a performance of Les Mis. In said play thereâs the scene where Javert and Valjean confront each-other by the bedside of the now dead Fantine. well, Javert Had his prop weapon (I canât remember if it was a sword or truncheon,) but Valjean didnât have his. So we the Crew decided during our builds that weâd rig up a chair to break so our Valjean could use one of the broken legs as a club kind of thing. For all of our shows it went off without a hitch, but for the last one we decided to have some fun. Originally we really just weakened one of the legs so it would break off after our Valjean hurled the chair on the floor, but for the final chair we too saws and cut into everything. All the legs, the back poles, everything. We cut it just enough so that our Valjean would be able to sit in the chair and not break it, but when he tossed it on the ground? Chaos. And thatâs what happened. All we told him before the show was âWhen your toss the chair on the ground, give it your all.â And so when the scene came all of the crew gathered behind the legs and assorted hidden places of the stage to watch. When our Valjean hurled the chair to the ground it shattered. Wood and splinters went in practically every direction and Iâm sure that I even saw our Fantine flinch as she feigned death. There was no chair leg left for him to use. So we all got to witness as our Valjean fended off Javert with naught but a splinter. Fun times.
THERE ARE BETTER STORIES EVERY TIME I LOVE THIS POST SO MUCH
Back in high school our drama department was putting on a comedy, whose name escapes me now, but the intro starts off telling how the hero was born. The two actors playing his parents came out from either side of the stage and joined in the middle and waved at the audience while the narrator spoke the story. At one point he states â they had a bouncing baby boyâŚâ and a toy baby was literally thrown on stage with a â AWAAAâ baby sound effect, then was caught by the father and given to the mother.
Now the first show went off without a hitch.
The second show, my friend was the stage hand that threw the baby on stage.
My friend was also the star quarterback for our football team.
Second show comes on, actors meet in the stage and wave, narrator says his line⌠And from right stage with the sound effect on cue this baby doll was fucking HURLED into the air about 10 fucking feet and dropped like a sack of wet rags down to the actors and the father actually CAUGHT it first try.
I have never in my life seen the 8D face on an actual person until that day.
IT GOT BETTER
god this post is long but I have one more to add:
I just finished a music theatre prep program where our choir teacher was a head music director for a number of shows that ran in the toronto theatre district and one of the first shows he was involved with was the lion king
so the actors are in maybe their third week of previews, its a sunday afternoon show. They had a wooden puppet for the baby Simba that the actor could put their thumbs into the back of to move its little paws. they affectionately called the pupped âStiffyâ
on this specific day my choir teacher is doing his typical job when he hears a commotion backstage. He heads up to mainstage where the actors are coming off after finishing circle of life, the gorgeous, moving opening song that finishes with baby simba held high in the air while all the animals are cheering. the actors are fucking hysterical.
He asked what happened and one of the actors said that right at the climax of the opening, as baby simba is being held over the cliff, âThey dropped Stiffyâ
When I was Mrs Potts in beauty and the beast our Lumiere went to make his entrance before be our guest and when he ran on stage his shoes lost traction and he fell squarely on his back losing both his candle head and wigâŚ. With out skipping a beat he turned to the audience and said âit looks like I am becoming human again a little earlier tonightâ queue audience dying with laughter and all of us staying completely in character.
my favourite thing is probably the scientific name of the Grizzly bear.Â
Itâs Ursus arctos horribilis. âursusâ meaning bear in Latin and âarctosâ, bear in Greek.
so essentially a grizzly is a âhorrible bear bear.âÂ
The Eurasian Brown Bear is Ursus arctos arctos
So literally âBear Bear Bearâ. The most bear a bear can be.Â
So bear. Much roar. Wow.
Also! The Arctic Circle is named for the bears, not the other way âround. Itâs the Circle With Bears In, and the Antarctic is the Circle (and continent) Away From Bears.
Are you telling us that the poles of our world are Bear Continent and Anti-Bear Continent
      
@turibulum
ARGH CRAB BATTLE

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harry potter was such a fuckin jock tbh star player of sports ball hated history of magic (which wouldâve been fascinating) just likes shooting his magic-gun such a bro tbh
trust fund jock that became a cop
who married his high school sweetheart
Donât do this to me
Daughter of a gun (ďžÂ´ăŽÂ´)ďž*:シďžâ§ No idea if such a thing existed but surely there had to be girls born on board in the Age of Sail?
*puts on obnoxious historian hat*
*clears throat*
there were actually tons of women and girls on board ships during the age of sail and itâs really cool history that no one!!! ever!!! talks about!!!Â
like captains of merchant ships used to bring their wives and children on board for long voyages all the time (and of course there were plenty of well known female pirate ship captains, and women cross-dressing as men, and prostitutes that more people seem to know of)
thereâs actually a really amazing story of one woman, Mary Ann Patten who was the wife of the captain of this ship called Neptuneâs Car. Captain Patten decided that he wanted her onboard with him and she was super about this and learned all about navigation and sailing and everything. so this one voyage theyâre going around the tip of south america when her husband gets sick and is bed ridden with a fever right as the ship sails into one of the worst storms any of the crew had ever seen and it looks like they might lose the ship or have to stop
so you know who takes over??? the first mate???Â
no.
MARY
she took over the whole crew and sailed that ship through freezing water and pack ice and had it coasting smoothly into the san francisco harbour like it was nothing. and she did this all at age 19. while pregnant.
at one point the first mate tried to get the crew to mutiny against her but they all rallied with her and told him to shut the heck up because she obv knew what she was doing.
thereâs a great book about women in the age of sail called âfemale tarsâ by suzanne stark that i cannot recommend enough and has way more amazing stories and insights about the myriad roles women and girls played aboard ship during that time period.
(sorry i totally didnât mean to hijack your post i love all of your art and this is gorgeous i just got over excited sorry sorry sorry)
We need links!
Female Tars: Women Aboard Ship in the Age of Sail by Suzanne Stark
Hen Frigates: Passion and Peril, Nineteenth-Century Women at Sea by Joan Druett
Hen Frigates: Wives of Merchant Captains Under Sail by Joan Druett
Iron Men, Wooden Women: Gender and Seafaring in the Atlantic World, 1700-1920 edited by Margaret S. Creighton and Lisa Norling
Petticoat Whalers: Whaling Wives at Sea, 1820-1920 by Joan Druett
Sea Queens: Women Pirates Around the World by Jane Yolen
Seafaring Women: Pirate Queens, Female Stowaways and Sailorsâ Wives by David Cordingly
The Captainâs Best Mate: The Journal of Mary Chipman Lawrence on the Whaler Addison, 1856-1860 by Mary Chipman Lawrence
Women Sailors and Sailorsâ Women: An Untold Maritime History by David Cordingly
IâM GONNA GET A LIBRARY CARD AS SOON AS I GET AN APARTMENT AND READ LITERALLY ALL OF THESE AND WEEP TEARS OF PROUD SISTERHOOD
I personally know Lisa Norling and Suzanne Stark; theyâre awesome women and their books are awesome.
my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
motherfucking australia
if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
wait.Â
you mean to tell me this isnât even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
wake up australiaÂ
Thatâs what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit
Itâs cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes
why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that theyâre going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called âswooping seasonâ and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, itâs fucking brutal.
My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.
no but when youâre 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange
what the actual fuck australiaÂ
I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke.
Nope.
Went there.
Parrots tried to take our car.
Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY.
Interesting thing about magpies - theyâre not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way theyâre usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard - as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry maâam I had no idea it was you I would never please donât stop stocking the food pile.
There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies - carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc - and emitting an identifiable call of âhello birdieâ before swooping season started.Â
I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said âhello birdieâ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool.Â
Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots.Â
What the fuck
the plant has a question

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They look like theyâre singing a high pitched duet.