Lane, she/her, 20s, queer. stan of many things, currently including: newsies, cats (yes the musical), dimension 20. i am so emotionally attached to so many musicals. icon by @artdalek!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Okay, today is Speak Your Own Language Day, so I should be speaking Spanish, HOWEVER I want to use this day of language learning and appreciation to explain something about how Spanish works, and Hispanic people already know that so it wouldn't make much sense to explain it in Spanish, which is why just for this post I'm gonna use English.
I'm gonna be talking, of course, of grammatical gender, because of this viral image:
I'm sure you've seen an image like this floating around and people crying about how having non-binary be translated with a feminine and masculine form depending on usage defeats the purpose of the term.
But it doesn't!!!
Spanish is not like English, it has ✨grammatical gender✨ which has nothing to do with gender identity whatsoever. It's not that we believe chairs are female and stools are male, our grammar is just like this. Every word has a grammatical gender and there must be grammatical gender concordance. Thus, non-binary must have both a feminine and masculine form to use depending with which word you're pairing it.
Let's say you want to talk about a "non-binary person". 'Person' in Spanish is 'persona' a grammatically feminine word (despite its usage being gender neutral and encompassing people of any gender, as I said, grammatical gender ≠ gender identity). Because 'persona' is a grammatically feminine word, you have to apply grammatical concordance accordingly, and so to say "non-binary person" you would say "persona no binaria".
Now let's say you want to talk about "non-binary gender". 'Gender' in Spanish is 'género' a grammatically masculine word, and because of that to say "non-binary gender" you would say "género no binario".
See? It's not about grammatically imposed misgendering, it's about how this language is built.
But Shine, I hear you say, that's all nice and good, but how do I refer to my non-binary friend? And well, dear reader, you're in luck because I'm not only Spaniard but also non-binary myself.
In Spanish 'friend' (like a whole lot of words) has a feminine and masculine form. When those words are used to refer to people, grammatical gender does match gender identity. For the most part. And broadly speaking, feminine words are associated with the vowel -a, and masculine with the vowel -o (this is not universal, there are exceptions to this, I'm trying to paint the broad picture to give you a general idea).
So what about gender neutral? Well, officially we don't have one. The Real Academia Española doesn't recognize it... But the RAE isn't word of god, it compiles usage, so the more a term is used, the more chances it will be officially recognized. Not using a term because it's not officially recognized is actively detrimental to the goal you want to achieve.
Okay, not an official gender neutral, but what have we come up with? Well, at least in Spain, it's associating gender neutral to the vowel -e. So you have the femenine ella/la/-a, the masculine él/lo/-o, and the gender neutral elle/le/-e.
Now time for practical examples!
"My friend, David, is a boy." 🇬🇧 → 🇪🇸 "Mi amigo, David, es un chico."
"My friend, Liz, is a girl." 🇬🇧 → 🇪🇸 "Mi amiga, Liz, es una chica."
"My friend, Alex, is non-binary." 🇬🇧 → 🇪🇸 "Mi amigue, Alex, es no binarie."
And that's how you do it!! At least in queer friendly spaces in Spain, can't speak for other places. I have seen the 'x' thrown around to make gender neutral in Spanish, but -e is way more intuitive for spoken language, so I like it better.
But anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk and remember I generalized a lot when doing this. If you're learning Spanish I can only wish you good luck in dealing with our bullshit if you come from English, and assure you that once you internalize our orthography rules you will never again mispronounce a word you read for months before you hear it spoken (we have a very consistent spelling/pronunciation system, gotta be one of my favourite things about my language).
today is the ten year anniversary of the Pulse Nightclub shooting. a full decade ago, i lost a friend and a coworker. i was lucky. i had friends that lost several people. today, please remember and fight for all those that have died to live the life they should have been free to. i'll always remember you, Cory.
In January 2020, I attended Dr. Amy Cook's PLAY WAY seminar at Pasadena Humane Society. The seminar was about "social play" as a tool for rehabilitating reactive/stressed/fearful dogs.
"Social Play" has been defined as something different from playing with toys (tug, fetch, etc.) It is literally "goofing around" with your dog in a way that they like, that makes them happy. Body language responsiveness, movement and timing is everything.
Not only did we get to see some inspiring and entertaining video footage of Amy Cook playing with her dogs, some attendees had also brought their own dogs to play with, while Amy offered coaching.
We saw the Play Way live!
It was an amazing and delightful experience and I couldn't wait to get home to play with my 15 year old Boogie (now passed on) who hadn't been interested in Tug or Fetch in over a year due to his vision loss. The Play Way class was like learning a new language, a new vocabulary to play with my dog.
This infographic cannot possibly do justice to all the material covered in the Play Way seminar, which also focused on play as "therapy". For now, I hope this is enough to pique everyone's interest in the subject and how to be mindful and respectful of our dog's body language and of our own body language in conversations with our dog.
Also read: Whole Dog Journal article on The Play Way
Image description and text under readmore.
Description begins.
[image: Five pairs of dogs showing playful behaviors. From left to right: A dog playbows to another, a dog hipbumps another, a dog chases another dog that is running away, a larger dog rolls on its back, playfully wiggling to a smaller dog, and lastly, two dogs play bitey face.]
The Play Way with Amy Cook PhD. playwaydogs.com
illustrated by Lili Chin doggiedrawings.net
Social Play is an excellent way for a dog to be in a happy state of mind and to be physically relaxed or loosened up. Playing also lets us know if a dog is truly relaxed or concerned about anything, so we can more effectively help them feel better.
Good play is an INVITATION. We invite our dog when they are looking at us, not when they are busy. We don't pressure them, as grabbiness, pushiness, and nagging are a turn-off. Pause and greet again before making a new suggestion. If your dog doesn't take up your suggestion but is still attentive, try something new.
FLIRT! Use SUSPENSE.
Not all play involves touching, but good play will have an element of suspense! Take pauses. Do not rush.
Yes: Start with slower, softer energy.
Yes: Give your dog plenty of room to move around freely.
Yes: Invite, wait, listen to your dog's response (body language)
Yes: Take "no" as an answer. PAUSE. Try something different.
No: Don't make your dog feel trapped or overwhelmed.
No: Don't make your dog wrong.
You want your dog to feel SAFE to open up and play with you.
IF you touch your dog, use the 3-SECOND RULE. Pull back after 3 seconds, staying engaged. Does your dog come back to you?
[Image sequence: Greet: A human claps their hands then says hi and reaches their palms out towards a small dog, which wags its tail. Friendly Pause: The human pauses, kneeling on the ground gently reaching out towards the dog, which stands still, confused. The human leans back, bringing their arms back in. The dog orients to them, thinking: “maybe”. Greet Again, New Invitation: The human turns away from the dog, folding down towards the ground and turning their face to look at the dog from over their shoulder. They say, hello! The dog approaches the human. Then, the human taps their fingers along the ground, and the dog playfully investigates, thinking “interesting”. Finally, the human leans back up, still kneeling, playfully wiggling their fingers in the air in front of them, and the dog happily play bows.]
With SOCIAL PLAY, the use of toys or food is not essential because you are not teaching your dog how to play. You are playing with your dog and learning what they like!
[Image: A vertical gradient scale goes from a reddish 8 at the top to a yellow 1 down at the bottom. A dash-line box encloses the numbers 5, 4, and 3, and the happy faces of a human and dog.]
Be in your dog's ENERGY RANGE!
What is your dog's energy level?
If your dog is overexcited (eg, 8) slow down to a 6-7.
If your dog is unsure or shy (eg, 2) try 1-3.
Play is a CONVERSATION. Here are some ideas to develop a "play vocabulary" with your dog:
YOU are the PREDATOR!
* Stay on the floor
[Image: Four vertically aligned orange squares showing play moves: 1. “Claw” Hands- Hands outstretched, fingers curled into “claws”. 2. Flat Hands- Hand outstretched, fingers pressed flat together, wrist bent back. 3. “Bitey” hands- A variation on “claw” hands where the fingers wriggle to “bite”. 4. “HAR” mouth- a human with their mouth open in a bitey-face gesture.]
[Image: A series of play interactions between a human and a dog. 1. The human play bows at the dog, kneeling with their arms splayed out onto the floor, saying “I’m gonna getcha!” 2. The human holds claw hands out towards the dog- Suspense! 3. The human gently pushes the dog back on the chest, saying “Silly puppy!” The dog pushes back towards the hand. 4. The human uses bitey hand to gently grab at the dog’s muzzle, and says “Bite you!” 5. The human uses a finger to poke the dog’s butt. 6. “Head butt!” The human gets on all fours and butts into the dog’s side with their head. 7. The human uses bitey hand to grab at the dog’s butt. “Bite your butt!”]
YOU are the PREY!
[Image: Four vertically aligned orange squares showing play moves: 1. Hiding face- A human hides their face behind their hands. 2. Pulling away- A human on all fours leans away from the action. 3. Piano hands- a human dances their fingers across the floor. 4. Rolling, flopping over- a human rolls onto their back, legs in the air and arms folded into their chest.]
[Image: A series of play interactions between a human and a dog. 1. A human crawls away from a dog on all fours, then peeks over their shoulder at the dog, asking “Gonna get me?”. Then, the dog jumps up onto the kneeling human. The human rolls onto their back and celebrates with the dog, “You got me!” 2. The human kneels, folded forward onto the floor doing piano hands. They say “Hello”. The dog approaches, and the human hides their face from the dog. Then, the dog fake bites the human’s cheek, tail wagging. 3. A dog watches curiously as a human shakes out a blanket. The human then hides under the blanket and the dog climbs up onto them, thinking “You silly! I get you!”]
How is your dog responding?
[Image: a human kneels on the floor and watches as the dog walks away from them. It thinks “need to look.”]
If your dog disconnects from you and looks towards something more interesting or concerning (that is not too close), let them process the other thing. Don't pressure them to come back to you.
When you let your dog look and dismiss the other thing on their own, the more of their attention that you really have when you get it!
NOPE. You are being WEIRD.
[Image: four examples of a dog showing stress. 1. Look Away: A dog turns and looks away. 2. Shake off- A dog shakes off like they’re wet. 3. Stress yawn- A dog yawns. 4. Busy Sniffing- a dog sniffs the ground.]
At first you may get a lot of "Not Now"s. If your dog shows confused signals or becomes busy doing other stuff, hold back. (Especially with the “shy" dogs) Your dog may not understand what you are doing.
When they approach you again, check your energy level, greet again, and try something different.
[Image: A human wiggles their fingers at a dog, which play bows with an open mouth and says “Bite you!”. Another drawing of the dog play bowing facing forwards and panting, tail wagging.]
When you do something that your dog likes, they will keep coming back to you. Their bodies are loose and curved. They may roll around, jump on you, or fake-bite you. They may even laugh!
Now that you know what your dog likes, you can do it over and over again!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
When my family first moved to the UK, we faced a similar risk to our wellbeing & safety as many are facing now, albeit for different reasons. in light of everything happening in Ireland & the tensions increasing in Glasgow, and the perennial England, here’s a list of actionable things to do for people who may be targeted & anti racist allies.
MY HOME IS ON THE LIST/LIKELY TO BE TARGETED, WHAT CAN I DO?
* it may bring you peace of mind to have a go-bag ready, just in case. A go-bag is a bag with everything in it that you need to get out a volatile situation quickly. Any bag that can be secured (buttoned or zipped) will do. In your go-bag, you should include;
- any shelf-stable medication (tablets, inhalers etc.) if you are on medication that needs to be refrigerated, leave it in the fridge until you have to leave
- Sanitary items; toothbrush, toothpaste, sanitary pads & tampons, deodorant. If you have very young children with you, you may also want to take your nappy bag.
* If you have to leave, a go-bag is a convenient way to ensure you have everything of importance with you.
* If you are being supported by an asylum seekers or refugee charity, or are a member of a gurdwara/temple, mosque, synagogue or church, reach out to your religious leaders. They may be able to provide direct support, or put you in contact with organisations or other congregants who can help. If you are friendly with your neighbours, it may be worth contacting them too.
* IN THE EVENT THAT “PROTESTORS” DO COME TO YOUR HOUSE, CALL 999 IMMEDIATELY, AND FOLLOW ANY INSTRUCTIONS THEY GIVE YOU. MOVE AWAY FROM ANY WINDOWS. DO NOT OPEN YOUR DOOR UNLESS INSTRUCTED TO DO SO BY EMERGENCY SERVICES.
I’M AN INTERNATIONAL STUDENT/CARE WORKER/NHS WORKER, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
* Contact your student welfare office/NHS Trust/agency for advice, support and referral to organisations that may be able to provide assistance
* if you live in or commute through an area that is likely to be targeted, contact your lecturers and your faculty to find out whether remote study is possible; if you work in care or as part of the NHS, find out if it is possible to change shifts.
* If it would provide peace of mind, prepare a go-bag as listed above
* Reach out to your the uni society or student’s organisation for international students or students of specific ethnic origin; they may be able to provide you with direction to resources and peer support. If your university has a Marxist or Socialist society, reach out to them for mutual aid with a travel buddy etc., for getting to and from your place of study/work
* If you are a member of a gurdwara/temple, mosque, synagogue or church, reach out to your religious leaders. They may be able to provide direct support, or put you in contact with organisations or other congregants who can help.
* If you are friendly with your neighbours, it may be worth contacting them too for assistance with travel to & from work.
* Report any racism or racialised violence you are subjected to. NHS staff have a right to refuse to treat patients who harass, abuse, threaten or insult them; if a patient is racist to you, where possible, ask another member of staff to take over their care.
PERSONAL SAFETY:
* do not leave your home unless strictly necessary. If it is necessary to leave, don’t do it alone.
* use NextDoor, WhatsApp, social media and word of mouth to avoid commuting through “protestor” road blocks, areas of active conflict etc.,
* When travelling, use Share My Location or Life360, and keep at least two people aware of your expected time of arrival at your destination with instructions to contact the police if you do not let them know you’ve made it safely
* do not directly confront any individuals involved, or allow them to bait you into becoming confrontational
* only record if it is safe. Do not record individuals directly/from up close
* Do not directly intervene. If you see violence occurring, contact emergency services and if safe to do so, record what’s happening.
ALLYSHIP & HOW TO HELP:
* if you have neighbours, friends, coworkers or acquaintances form targeted communities, reach out to them. Ask them what you can do to help them feel safe.
* If you live in an area likely to be targeted, reach out to any vulnerable people you know. If safe and possible, offer to let them shelter with you in the event they need to leave home
* If you see any incitement to violence online screenshot it; it may prove useful in the event of individual “protesters” being prosecuted
* If you see any specific areas being discussed as targets, alert anyone you know at risk in the area
* Reach out to local refugee & asylum seekers’ organisations, to organisations supporting foreign national care & healthcare workers, and to churches, mosques, gurdwaras; they may be looking for short term assistance in helping to provide for vulnerable members of their community
CHARITABLE ORGANISATIONS FOR ASSISTANCE & TO SUPPORT:
* NASC Ireland; refugee & asylum seeker charity
* Doras.org; migrant, stateless persons, refugee and asylum seeker rights advocates
* Jesuit Refugee Service; religious refugee & asylum seekers charity
* Irish Refugee Council; supporting stateless displaced persons & refugees in NI & ROI
* International Student’s House (IE & UK WIDE): provides hardship funding and help to international students
* PathFinder (UK WIDE); supports international students
* Care International (GLOBAL); global carer’s charity
* Choose Love (IE & UK WIDE); charitable organisation supporting refugees and asylum seekers
* Praxis UK (UK WIDE); supporting refugees & asylum seekers
* The Runnymede Trust (IE & UK WIDE); antiracism education charity
* Migrant’s Rights Network (IE & UK WIDE); advocacy and support for migrants and refugees
* ShareTheMeal (GLOBAL); providing meals for refugees and those fleeing conflict globally
* Amnesty (IRELAND, UK & WORLDWIDE); human rights NGO
* UNHCR & UN Refugee Council (GLOBAL); UN refugee bodies supporting those seeking asylum, fleeing conflict & internally/internationally displaced worldwide
This would have had me crucified on tumblr 10 years ago but maybe we are ready for this conversation now:
If you are a socially anxious person, you have to socialize. Your panic/anxiety attacks will only get worse and trigger more frequently if you constantly avoid contact with The Public. Not saying that you need to be a social butterfly- but there is a genuine problem with not being able to order your own meal at a restaurant. And it cannot be solved by always having someone else do it for you.
This is a PSA to about 3/4s of the Portland Youth populace
everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”
So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”
Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.
Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.
if you want butterflies, you need to live with caterpillars.
i am not being metaphorical, i work in a garden center, stop buying plants 'to bring in the bees and butterflies' and then immediately poisoning every caterpillar that dares to consume a single leaf
you will not get butterflies if you kill all the things that turn into butterflies! what are you doing!
getting a lot of responses to this going 'ok but it would be good as a metaphor though' so I will accept a metaphorical interpretation as long as you ALSO (!) promise to be considerate towards larval forms of insects specifically and biodiversity in general, deal?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming