The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

[video description: A small dog shakes a balloon in its mouth very ferociously and spins in circles and chomps on the balloon. The balloon gradually deflates in its mouth, and the dog huffs in excitement and victory at its conquest. /end description]

You don't want a "barn cat" for rodent control. You want one of these insufferable little shits. Cats will avoid jobs whenever possible. Manic little bastard dogs make their job everyone's problem.

testoblerone

canoeing is a fantastic word . those vowels are absolutely out of control in there

dogs might look like their owners but cat people always have a cat with the same mental illness as them

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

SPIDERS GEORG ON ONE MILLION CREEP GUYS

ONE MILLION SPIDERS ACHIEVED

as a child there's nothing cooler than a kid who gets subjected to evil experiments and gains special abilities. it's even cooler if these abilities also cause unfathomable suffering to use/against others. children love stories like this.

The children yearn to be Mewtwo

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

I've got to find myself more macrophage

Now Hiring: macrophages

immunesystem.com/careers/macrophage

Then I guess we'll just have to Blaze it the old fashioned way, eh?

Boosting signal. AGAIN.

I love the word "rapscallion" like yeah of course this onion can spit bars.

treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding youd offer to an ancient wizard

i didn't realize this would be a problem when I posted this but some of you don't have the respect and admiration for an ancient wizard that I assumed would be more inherent and universal