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settings > wound > my wound > reopen
do not forget this
[ID: Tag that says, "#options > add salt". End ID]

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Coming up on a year since a healthcare provider sexually assaulted me and I just found out more new and fun ways they broke their collegeās very explicit regulations š«
Something happened to my fridge and it warmed up for up to 24 hours.
There were so many new groceries Iād just bought and I canāt get over how devastated I feel about throwing out all this unopened but now unsafe stuff.
Itās still not back to temp so itās not like I can even plan to go and replace things yet. We donāt know for sure what caused it.
I am not emotionally recovering and itās been hours. Fml.
Day 11 and babygirl has finally eaten a meal (ā āæā āæ)
My foster cat has spent all evening laying down and sleeping under my bed, right below where my pillows are. It feels like weāre in bunk beds right now and itās cute.
Sheās still very frightened and hiding and I havenāt been able to touch her yet. Sheās relaxed a ton compared to a week ago though and she looks at me curiously now when I locate her and peer at her. She is also moving around between hiding spots while Iām present (and awake) rather than only emerging when Iām out or asleep.
Last night she left from under my bed because the frame is really creaky and I couldnāt stop moving. Tonight she has stayed where she is and Iām also trying to move less. This is the closest weāve ever been aside from transporting her. Just a mere arms length of space is between us right now, disregarding the mattress.
Sheās making great strides. Might not sound great if unfamiliar with the nature of traumatized cats but Iām just so proud of her. I canāt wait for her to settle in and start living her best life. I strongly suspect her best life doesnāt involve strictly laying down directly on hard floors with nary a soft surface involved, but I am open to this possibility nonetheless. She has lots of soft places patiently waiting for her when sheās ready.

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"Six weeks into the term, I assigned my rhetoric and writing students a 20-page article. It was the same length I had assigned for five years and the same length I had read without complaint as an undergraduate a decade ago. Not one student finished it.
When I asked why, a student answered honestly: It was too long, and she kept losing track of what the paper was about. This was not a remedial class: These were students who had cleared the admissions process and written essays good enough to get them here. Yet a routine academic reading assignment had defeated them.
Every generation of professors has complained that their students cannot read. The lament is usually overblown, but data have caught up to anecdote, and what I am seeing in my classroom is no longer a hunch. There is a measurable, generational collapse in sustained reading and writing, and the academy is responding to it with improvisation and exhaustion rather than the structural overhaul it requires.
In February 2024, Adam Kotsko, who teaches in the Shimer Great Books School at North Central College, wrote in Slate that students who once handled 30 pages of reading per class meeting now seem āintimidated by anything over 10 pages and seem to walk away from readings of as little as 20 pages with no real understanding.ā Crucially, he added that this is ānot a matter of laziness on the part of the studentsā but of underlying skills they were never given a chance to build.
The Chronicle of Higher Educationās 2024 investigation found the same pattern across institutions as different as the Stevens Institute of Technology and Wellesley College, where the average SAT exceeds 1400. Nicholaus Gutierrez, an assistant professor at Wellesley, told The Chronicle that the baseline for what students consider a reasonable amount of work has dropped so noticeably that he has cut his readings accordingly; a 750-word essay now strikes many students as long. At Stevens, the science and technology studies associate professor Theresa MacPhail described following the mantra of āmeet your students where they areā for so long that she has begun to feel ālike a cruise director organizing games of shuffleboard.ā
Worse, the national data tell the same story in colder language. On the 2011 National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) writing assessment, which is the most recent comprehensive writing benchmark, only 24 percent of 12th graders reached the Proficient level, and just 3 percent reached Advanced; another 21 percent scored below Basic. The reading side of the ledger is worse, and getting worse fast: The 2024 NAEP results released in September 2025 show 12th-grade reading scores at the lowest level recorded since the assessment began in 1992. Thirty-two percent of 12th graders now score below NAEP Basic in reading, meaning that, in the assessmentās own language, they likely ācannot draw general conclusions based on concepts presented explicitly in a text.ā And yet more than half of these same seniors reported being accepted to a four-year college. That last sentence is the whole problem in one line: We are admitting a cohort that cannot read at a college level and are pretending otherwise.
Why is this happening? One reason, of course, is smartphones.
I came into teaching as a skeptic of the anti-smartphone argument: I had a phone in my pocket throughout high school and college in the 2010s, and I read long books anyway. I now think I was wrong, because the neuroscience has caught up. In a 2017 paper, Adrian F. Ward and colleagues at the University of Texas at Austinās McCombs School of Business showed that the mere presence of a participantās smartphone ā whether that be face down, powered off, untouched, or across the desk out of vision ā measurably reduces available working memory and fluid intelligence on cognitive tests, with the largest effects on the most phone-dependent users. A 2022 study by Motoyasu Honma and colleagues at Japanās Showa University used near-infrared spectroscopy to compare reading on a smartphone with reading the same passage on paper, and found that smartphone reading produced overactivity in the prefrontal cortex, suppressed sigh generation, and led to general lower comprehension scores; the authors argued that the sigh inhibition and prefrontal overload were causally linked to the comprehension decline.
So when a student tells me they ākept losing trackā of a 20-page article, I have to acknowledge that they may be describing a measurable neurological condition. The neural pathways that support sustained attention are built by use, and they atrophy without it. Your body is a use-it-or-lose-it system, and the brain is no exception.
Another reason for the decline in student reading capability is increasing reliance on generative AI. In June 2025, Nataliya Kosmyna and colleagues at the MIT Media Lab released a preprint titled āYour Brain on ChatGPT.ā They divided 54 participants into three groups writing SAT-style essays ā one using ChatGPT, the second group using a search engine, the last group using nothing ā and monitored brain activity with a 32-channel EEG. The ChatGPT group showed the lowest neural connectivity of the three, with up to 55 percent reduced connectivity compared with the brain-only group, and āconsistently underperformed at neural, linguistic, and behavioral levels.ā Eighty-three percent of LLM users could not quote a single line from essays they had written minutes earlier. When the LLM group was forced to write without AI in a follow-up session, their brain activity did not bounce back to baseline; the researchers coined the term ācognitive debtā for the lingering deficit.
This is the first neurophysiological evidence that early reliance on LLMs measurably alters the brainās engagement with writing tasks, and it is consistent with what those of us in front of classrooms are watching happen in real time. When I assign analysis, I am not trying to extract a polished product; I am trying to put the studentās mind through resistance in order to make it stronger. Offloading the struggle to a chatbot does not āfree students up for higher-order work.ā It deprives them of building the strength to do any substantial cognitive work at all.
There is a final factor that is contributing to this decline in reading skills, and that is that the students arriving in my classroom today are the first cohort to have experienced Common Core-influenced reading instruction across the entirety of their Kā12 schooling. Whatever the standardsā original intent, the on-the-ground implementation in many districts replaced sustained reading with the practice of pulling āevidenceā from disconnected short passages, the same format used on the standardized tests that increasingly determine school funding. The education scholar Natalie Wexler, among others, has documented this pivot in detail: Students drilled on āfinding the main ideaā in two-paragraph excerpts never build the stamina or background knowledge that longform reading requires. The pandemic then added fuel to a fire that was already burning. NAEP scores for 13-year-olds dropped sharply in 2022 and have not recovered. A 2023 EdWeek survey found that 24 percent of secondary-school administrators described pandemic learning loss in English and language arts as āsevere or very severe.ā
In July 2025, the journalist Mary Harrington argued in The New York Times that āthinking is becoming a luxury good.ā The ability to read deeply and reason at length is fragmenting along class lines as ultra-processed digital media replaces text in everyday life, much as ultra-processed food has replaced cooking. Her longer treatment of the subject in First Things makes the more provocative case that we are witnessing the end of print culture itself, and with it the end of the cognitive substrate on which modern liberal democracy was built.
I see this stratification in the classroom and on the page every week. My students from districts that protected sustained reading through small class sizes, strict phone policies, and faculty who refused to teach to the test all arrive with their attention relatively intact. My students from districts that surrendered to devices and standardized testing arrive cognitively winded. A democracy that requires a literate electorate is now training one fraction of that electorate out of literacy while marketing to the other a ādeep workā lifestyle as a luxury good. The students who cannot read a 20-page article today are the voters who will not be able to read a bill, or the jurors who cannot follow a closing argument, tomorrow.
I do what I can in my own classroom to address the problems. I break 20-page articles into two halves and assign the first half with explicit analytical tasks. I require exploratory writing before formal drafts. I model (visibly, on the board) how to track an argument across pages or distinguish a sourceās claim from my own analysis. I make structured peer review explicit, because the workshop format I used to take for granted now collapses into āthis is goodā and āmaybe add more detailsā the moment I step back.
But I want to be plain about the limits of what an individual instructor can do, and all of these solutions have costs. Scaffolding a 20-page article into halves compromises the integrity of the argument I am asking students to engage, just as modeling note-taking in a credit-bearing rhetoric course is using a college slot to teach a middle-school skill. None of the syllabi I teach are designed to deliver this type of cognitive rehabilitation, and pretending otherwise has produced credential inflation. We cannot keep conferring degrees on students who cannot do what the degree is supposed to certify.
Iām afraid I donāt have answers. I do, however, have some questions that may point us in the right direction. If higher education is going to respond to the reading crisis as a structural problem rather than a private burden carried by composition instructors and adjuncts, it has to stop avoiding the following questions: If a majority of incoming students cannot read at a level the curriculum requires, are we admitting students we cannot serve, or offering a curriculum we cannot provide?
Why are first-year writing and reading-intensive general-education courses still the most adjunctified, lowest-paid, highest-load corner of the university, at the precise moment when their work has become the most important work the institution does? What is the responsible institutional response for AI usage: Is it a syllabus statement, or a sequencing principle that requires students to demonstrate the cognitive work themselves before AI assistance is permitted?
Why are most college classrooms still phone-permissive by default? Kā12 districts from Florida to California are now banning phones bell to bell; higher education has somehow lagged behind the public schools. Universities benefit from a pipeline they did not build and refuse to repair. What would it mean for a university system to invest seriously in the reading instruction happening in the high schools that feed it, rather than treating remediation as something to be quietly outsourced to first-year composition instructors?
The thing I am no longer willing to do is pretend this is a temporary adjustment period, or that āstudents will adapt.ā They will not adapt on their own. The conditions that produced this collapse are still in place: the phones, the algorithmic feeds, the test-prep excerpts, staffing models that load the reading-intensive work onto the most precarious faculty, and now the chatbots that finish studentsā sentences before theyāve even begun to think of them. If we want literate citizens, we will have to rebuild the conditions for literacy deliberately, against the grain of every incentive currently pointed the other way. I know the academy has the will to do that. It also has the obligation."
ā Tyler Jagt, 1 June 2026, "My Students Canāt Read"
The generational collapse in literacy is measurable, persistent, and likely to get worse.
who is scott free and why are so many people getting him off
choosing recovery feels impossible, especially when you have little to no support system. let me promise you something; very few people actually want to be stuck in an eating disorder, and even the ones that THINK they do are just caught up in the lies their ED tells them
everyone wants to be recovered, but no one wants to choose it, because that feels like you're admitting it was never really a problem. everyone wants to be dragged kicking and screaming into a place that will make them well, from where they'll spring forth fully recovered and finally in a body they can love
but that doesnt happen to anybody. you have it within you to claw your life back from your eating disorder, and God, it will be hard. but at the end of the day, the tenacity and drive and healing comes from you. find something new to define you. recovery is possible.

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get in loser weāre gonna try again despite it all
Iām so excited about cats again I canāt sleep. Iām bringing a foster home in a couple days.
i get so freaked out by like. pictures of reallyĀ big rope
Iād like to say thatās normal but Iām a frayed knot
iām so fucking annoyed at this, just for that you donāt get photos of the rope
i changed my mind, this is just too horrifying not to share
itās called a HawserĀ and is the thick cable or rope used for towing/mooring a ship
in conclusion, i have nightmares beyond description
NO it would NOT be cool
well i fucken disagree
@scumrunner do you have any cursed facts about hawsers to share ?
As a fiber nerd, i am personally very enthusiastic about themā¦.
Ohhohohoho DO I EVER. Meet the āsnapback zone,ā not an area with cool hats, but instead the unintuitive range at which a hawser can kill you if it breaks under tension.
What if we kissed in the snap-back zone? š³ š³ š³
I donāt think you guys understand how much force this is, a tow rope used to move a 20 foot boat snaps under tension with enough force to dent metal, shatter glass and seriously injure anyone in its way. A Hawser on the other hand⦠Well Iāve seen a concrete pier with a chuck the size of a sedan ripped out of it by a line failure, and anecdotally, Iāve heard of a 2 ton heavy cargo forklift being skidded sideways, then knocked over. These lines snap with enough force to noticably dent the hull armor of navy ships.
This is a line designed to hold in place a moving object that can be easily in excess of 10000 tons. AND THEY CAN BREAK FROM THAT TENSION ALONE.
THESE THINGS ARE TERRIFYING RUBBER BANDS FROM HELL.
Nope Rope
NOPE ROPE
Iām once again reminded of its much smaller cousin, the haywire.
Youāve heard of the term, āGoing haywire,ā right? Ever spared a thought to why that term exists?
See, time was there was a prototype automatic hay-baler. But this was in that magic period juuust before we really got into standardized sizes. So calibration of the machine was handled manually - a mix of guessing and learning from the results of guessing. If youāve read Raising Steam by Sir Terry Pratchett you know that many people donāt get to learn from the results of their own guesses, due to being dead.
A poorly calibrated hay-baler had the mechanical strength to smush the hay into a tight bundle, wrap the wire around it, and tie that wire off to maintain the baleās form. But the pressure of the over-packed hay was a constant outward force. Each bale made by an over-tight baler was potential energy in physical form. We have a word for āpotential energy in physical formā and that word is ābomb.ā
So sometimes, a man would toss a hay bale and it would land with a twang and the man whoād been reaching down to pick it up where it landed was dead.
And that is what āhaywireā means.
oh nice. i knew hay bales occasionally spontaneously combust, didnāt know they used to have an explosion factor too
I am learning multiple things today
Normally Iād expect wet plant matter to be less likely to go up in flames, but not hay bales! Those pesky bacteria really like to party in damp conditions. And by party I mean ācreate heat.ā
*right clicks on you*
*views your properties*

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Okay but tbh I canāt get over the semi-feral kitty (more feral than semi) who voluntarily initiated stepping into my lap today. Heās coming SO far a lot more quickly than I expected, and Iām really proud of him. Heās putting some real trust in me which is such a beautiful experience.
Iām now teaching him and his podmate some manners. In our first session today of introducing verbal reinforcements there was such a great response. He was so composed and polite once he figured out what was going on!
This kitty hasnāt had great prospects due to his aggression and now the future is actively transforming before our eyes (āāæā)āæ
Heās definitely going to be a cuddler. Heās curious and so much more open to new experiences than anyone had given him the opportunity for. He needs a lot of patience, someone who can read his energy, and mad respect for his boundaries.
I stand corrected, this cat was fully feral before arriving.
I actually love his warning taps on my hand because he does them mostly for show now. He no longer uses claws and he often forgets to even do it. Sometimes heāll raise his paw half way and then be like nah itās fine, the moment has passed, I can let it go. Puts his paw back down and resumes seeking treats.
The funniest was when he approached me just to hiss and tap my hand while I was petting his podmate who was actually enjoying it. I did back off though and let him settle again, and proceeded with much slower hands after that and refrained from trying to touch him at all because I donāt fuck around. It just still makes me chuckle because heās such an interesting kitten and I enjoy the puzzle of how to put each individual cat at ease.
Today he came and sat in my lap (all four paws! Sitting down on my leg!) AND let me pet him while doing that without hissing or tapping to correct me. He kept returning to my lap and coming right up to my face, peering at me intently. It took every ounce of self control to not pet him nor smile with my teeth when he did this. My face was within easy scratching distance if he felt compelled to bop me so I let him peer away without moving. He has started putting his front paws on my stomach and chest to get up closer to me. Just, making himself at home in my personal bubble :āD
Heās so stinkin cute. We are all very proud of him.
Baby boy loves neck scritches/massages it turns out.
He didnāt even need to be bribed with a treat. He now just likes me :3
And he really likes being in my lap, and also standing up against my chest to be as close to my face as possible.
POV:
No hisses or taps today. I even approached his personal space to replace a blanket which ordinarily would guarantee a big defensive response. But he just⦠didnāt even flinch. Didnāt even half raise a paw. He had no concerns about me standing, leaning towards him from above, and placing a blanket in his sacred cat tree space. I thought Iād definitely get a swift but soft tap or two on my hands as they moved closer to him but he was actually so unbothered. I love him.
The situation of headaches. First course in biology. 1908.
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