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The New York slimes

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lowpawly

this is my impression of what it would look like if the toddlers at my job could make traumacore edits about me

lowpawly

alright by popular demand here is more toddler traumacore

sniperct

tumblr waiting for news on mitch mcconnell (image source)

scribefindegil

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

nalivaa

the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.

lelouch

they couldn't put him in the beer campaign so he was represented by a bunch of berries

bayfuzzball7050

@biddybaboop

biddybaboop

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mongo-the-liensis

I personally love how almost everyone agrees that Carl MUST be attractive because Bea is shallow. Like yes, Bea would never date a guy below a 7/10 and therefore Carl must he attractive. 10/10 reasoning guys.

cryhounds

TH GAY PEOPLE IN MY PHONEWHEN I DROP IT ON THE FLOOR

felix

whenever i complete chores i get an achievement banner pop up in my head dark souls style

felix

courtofthevampireking

killer-arcade

courtofthevampireking

nedlittle

1920s guy driving a model t with a "i bought this before ford went crazy" bumper sticker

enba-and-luka

bioluminescently-unfolding

I did some research and I definitely see the problem:

"Friend kea!"

Meanwhile, a conservation sign tells tourists the real story:

I particularly love the part that emphasises that if they nick your stuff that's squarely your fault for letting them. Wikipedia (where I found these pictures) draws a clear line between human and kea behaviour:

"Kea parrots have strong cognitive abilities. According to recent studies, kea have a sense of impulse control and forward planning. Kea can wait up to 160 seconds for a more preferred reward. In addition, kea also use trial-and-error tactics and use observational learning to solve difficult problems and when faced with puzzles and locks. These decision-making abilities are similar to primates and other intelligent bird species such as the African grey parrot."

"The Department of Conservation suggested that the time savings resulting from a human-assisted, more calorie-rich diet gives kea more free time to investigate and damage things at campsites and car parks."

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omgbuglen

Deer running from a flying squirrel as caught on a trail camera

thomas-bxngxlter-deactivated201

everything about this picture is goddamn intense as fuck

systlin

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

systlin

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

systlin

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.

#maybe it's just the people I know #but I feel like a lot of people treat using a dishwasher #as being lazy??#I don't understand this #why shade efficiency?

dontmean2bepoliticalbut

gotylocks

Happy 10th birthday to the best tweet of all time.

kalichnikov

“Terf is a slur used to silence us” dang bitch I wish it worked shut the fuck up

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mgs5

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

catasters

jenroses

This may be the funniest cat video I've ever seen. Tears. They are so perplexed.

justalurkr

The number of attempts to smack the ghostie is hilarious

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