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I had a dream I saw Count Binface without the bin and then I woke up and he lost the by-election im absolutely distraught about this

Just started my period and it’s going to be 37 degrees tomorrow anyone available to kill me dead?

My eye cream keeps making my eyes water but I get a stupid amount of joy from applying it what do :,(

There are too many times when I write something and am immediately hit with the knowledge that it is far too British of a phrase to keep in, but infinitely more terrifying is the idea that there are some terrible Britishisms that I don’t even notice

There’s a pub called Dead Dove in my town

I put a crystal under my pillow because I wanted to see if it would give me weird dreams, and it did kinda in the sense that for the past three days I have dreamt exclusively of rollercoasters

Your email finds me barking and howling

On holiday with family in the south of England and the bloody tap water is driving me mad why is it so horrible 😭😭😭😭😭