Chemistry's Bitch

as a child i assumed that martha’s vineyard was a fancy private vineyard owned by martha stewart and the reason rich people vacationed there was because they were friends with martha

You've heard of the man, the myth, the legend. Now get ready for the woman, the omen, the portent.

Jolene

getting older is funny because characters you used to look up to and see as very established and grown up people are like 29

So many star trek characters are under 40... So many...

me (crazy eyes, covered in blood): I NEED to finish writing my fanfic. so I can start writing a different fanfic.

when im 45 years old ill still be here posting like take my hand. lets go into menopause together

we need to invent a spray tan-style treatment but instead of spraying you with tanning stuff it sprays you with heavy duty spf. and it lasts a few weeks so that way you can just get your spf spray a few times a summer instead of having to spend 10 minutes every day getting sticky and oily and making sure the sunscreen is all rubbed in. how do i get on shark tank