my grandmas dawg
heres what your grandmas dog wold look like. if they were a trail of ant
im getting sick of this.
Peter Solarz
🪼
cherry valley forever
Cosimo Galluzzi
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
AnasAbdin
Jules of Nature

blake kathryn

titsay
Monterey Bay Aquarium
we're not kids anymore.
trying on a metaphor
noise dept.

I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
i don't do bad sauce passes

#extradirty
h

roma★
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@sheep-venom
my grandmas dawg
heres what your grandmas dog wold look like. if they were a trail of ant
im getting sick of this.

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I swear there were like five minutes in the 2010s where not appearing to be violently misogynistic kind of mattered a little bit to advertisers but that feels so far away now
things not to say when someone tells you they’re having a baby, from a transgender autistic guy named Algernon who has experienced a lot of trial and error:
Why? I know this is the question you want to ask. You are not allowed to ask it. I’m not sure why it’s frowned upon but you can’t.
You should name it after me. Not funny. No one laughs. A selfish statement that takes the attention off the pregnant party and shifts it to you. This joke is a flop, save it for the next pet they get.
Is it mine? It’s not mine. I have no testicles. If there is a possibility it is yours, they’ll tell you. Probably. No one wants an interrogation in this moment.
my dear legend Algernon, just "Why?" is actually hilarious and i promise it will be used
grab somebody sexy tell them HELP HE'S ESCAPING THE KILLER IS ESCAPING

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grab somebody sexy tell them HELP HE'S ESCAPING THE KILLER IS ESCAPING
happy man milk monday
Thought I’d add this that I’ve had stashed for years
“So basically my couch has electricity and I use it to charge my battery powered doorbell”
“Okay that makes sense”
Now explain it to a Japanese samurai from the year 1218
"do you know how waterwheels grind up grain in a water mill using the force of running water? We found a way to create a huge source of force that runs all the time and can transfer its force over long distance. I can tell you in more detail, but that's the basics. Now that is a chime that has a mechanism that one can press instead of having to open the door to let you know that you are waiting to be let in. It requires the transferred force to make the mechanism work and that wire is how we transfer the force to the chime."
he doesnt speak english
very funny. you are very original. I can deliver this in modern spoken Japanese or write it out in a mix of (modernized) kanji, proto-hiragana, and man'yogana as the need arises.
BLACK EYED PENIS ELEMENTAL ABILITYS
Women hate it when you kill their dog. Come to think of it, so do men and non-binary folk. Honestly it might not be a gendered thing

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Is jimmy happy about the new york knicks winning the nba world cup?
yes but most importantly because we hate the state of texas
McCalls Pikachu Plush 2512 Sewing Pattern
This thing has been out of print for like, 26 years and some of us want to make chubby classic pikachu so uh... I figure it's okay to share bc it's kinda hard to get your hands on the remaining physical copies.
Bonus points: Aelith made some embroidery/applique files for it too
This is FREE, please don't pay for the pattern.
Only the EMBROIDERY is paid.
Remade by AeilithArt so that we could use the pattern without like, destroying it. It's not exact since it's trace, but it's p much the same
Youre the only daniel i ever gave a damn about
farcille dood .. i love them
Me at any minor inconvenience

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it’s a shame more vampire media doesn’t pull from vampire bat behavior because they’re such sweeties. they can only survive their incredibly specialized diet because bats will share blood with colony members that didn’t find a meal! there’s evidence that suggests the donors sometimes initiate this behavior themselves by approaching hungry bats! the colonies are mostly harems of females with a few males but they’ve been observed letting unrelated males in when it gets cold so they can all stay warm! cute little social critters!
@yupekosi your tags have created such a beautiful world
Even though it was dark out, and all the hot teens who kill people were locked in their chambers, I somehow managed to leave mine undetected, sliding my skinny little Polly Pocket body through the edges of my vaulted door. I moved Taylor Sw*ftly, heading towards the one place that gave me comfort in this hellhole of a prison: the library. Where no one ever went except for me because I'm different and quirky and like to lead. The library was off limits to prisoners, and even though it held all of Tic Tac's ancient history, for some reason it was uninteresting to everyone in the realm. But not to me. The smell of black mold and asbestos and 300-year old dust clouded my senses, welcoming me like a bouncer at a club as I made my way through the candle-lit fire hazard shelves. "Now I'm quite certain you're not supposed to be here" a silky low one hundred thousand dollar sounding voice called from behind my bony shoulder. I jumped, almost tripping over my silly little baby bird feet as I turned. The prince, who was not in his usual formal attire, but in a pair of Buzz Lightyear spaceship pajamas, was standing before me towering overly like the Hulk. The candle light danced across his chiseled jawline and his dark brown fusilli curls fell in front of sleepy blue orbs. It made Cornhole look almost…human. I gathered my shock, praying that the split second I faltered he didn't notice. But the way the corners or his mouth turned upward like the Cheshire Cat told me he did. "And I thought you couldn't read! But look at that, here we are," I said, hiding the ancient tome I had pulled from the shelf behind by stick thin body as I tried to casually move out of his gaze. He stepped closer, pressing his ice cube tray abs against my small frame and giant rack. His breath was warm and damp like a dog as he laced a large hand behind my waist grabbing onto the book in my hands. He smiled. His dentine teeth shining in the dark as his lapis lazuli eyes flicked to my mouth. "I could have you killed you know." My stomach slut dropped, aching for him to rip my insides open and wear me like a tracksuit. "Do it," I breathed. The words leaking out of me like an anxious girl with IBS. He growled, low and guttural, like he was about to devour me whole as he leaned into my uncooked linguine hair. "Tempting," he whispered, pulling back and taking the book from me in one quick swoop. "But I think I'll wait. Who knows what you'll get up to alive." He winked at me like a car salesman and moonwalked out the door, leaving me standing there star struck and empty-handed. What the hell was that??