sharkruption

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

to be fair, we've been making the same joke about Keith Richards for forty-five years.

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

you can't get out that way!

that's not very helpful.

maybe the open window will help.

try the open window instead.

This is pretty much the only fanon idea I have ever decided to hold personally true. I love it. It is the best.

what a weird period this movie came out in. it was seen as pretty toothless when it came out, and it's still kind of that, it's all very goofy and mostly frothy, but it's also impossible to imagine it coming out today. it's a venn diagram of movie genres that don't get made anymore

To all the people saying “fetish shit”, yall ought to see how much menstrual smut there is on AO3. The only functional difference would be the lack of mess and a change in how we fap.

… not the account I thought I was using but. I stand by this.

cis people can reblog this but keep it on subject, please

Happy pride month everyone always remember that the sinkhole has an ecosystem large enough to house not only insects but likely several species of small birds or mammals

speaking from a place of privilege (good url)

some of you should not be reblogging this

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

Cats also like olives because they have a similar compound to catnip in them, so OP's cat likely tore open the package for that reason. I learned this the hard way the first time I ate olives near my cat :/ they're not poison on their own but the ones for people are def way too salty for cats.

I should clarify my cat was fine, she just made a mess trying to violently steal all the olives.