suspiciously located aboard The Walrus @noknowshame - Tumblr Blog

just saw a commercial for a brand of pads that boasted "up to zero leaks." up to zero? so zero and any other amount? that means nothing. that is an un-statement

noknowshame

just saw another commercial that wasn't even selling anything it was just explaining why you should use the dishwasher you already own and how. what is happening

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just saw a commercial for a brand of pads that boasted "up to zero leaks." up to zero? so zero and any other amount? that means nothing. that is an un-statement

beemovieerotica

jebać tczew

waiting to hear back.

cpericardium

on a work call. after the briefing, the manager said "any questions" and someone raised their hand and asked "did Lee Harvey Oswald act alone"

partingglances1986

Wes Anderson shouldn’t be a film director he should be a gay serial killer

noknowshame

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frodo-of-the-nine-fingers

and they were tomb mates

#oh my god they were tomb mates

I’m not really into “children’s tv show” analog horror but sometimes my mom will show me something she watched as a kid and I’ll be like. okay I see where all this is coming from

#this is about h.r. puffenstuff

kendallville

Gray King

Outstanding photoshoot

because Strong’s character is Polish-born and German-educated—and because he’s Jeremy Strong, and would never dream of doing it any other way—he has spent the last seven months speaking like a German-educated Pole

That makes sense

Source: GQ

#no one is doing it like him

exeggcute

one of my favorite this american life segments of late is about the people who played orchestra pit for phantom of the opera on broadway and how, like, a sizeable majority of them had literally been playing the show since it opened in 1988 (on broadway. I know it opened in 86 on the west end, you random pedants, but I am specifically talking about broadway musicians) because their contracts stipulated that they'd have jobs throughout the show's entire run... but nobody anticipated that phantom would become the longest-running broadway show of all time.

and none of these people wanted to walk away from a guaranteed job, so very few of them ever quit. they just kept doing the same show eight nights a week... for twenty or thirty years... and by the time it finally closed last year most of these musicians (who had been working together for DECADES) hated each other and really really fucking loathed phantom. I can't stop thinking about it. it's indescribably hellish to imagine but also the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.

exeggcute

can you imagine.

bisexualshakespeare

[ID: excerpt from an article reading: One of my favorite stories, which should drive anyone who has every played in a band crazy-- there’s this bassoon player who has sat next to the same clarinet player since 1988. She’s convinced he plays half a note4 flat on every note he’s every played. He denies this. /]

cleverlittlefox

#cogs in a machine that breaks chandeliers

catilinas

hmmmmmm

#emt nodding with approval

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ivy-saurs

randomly remembered this tweet and had to stop myself from bursting out laughing

#credit where credit is due. the office was so funny for pulling this

guiltfactory

your boyfriend isn't thematically significant

#I hope jakey is killed off midway through season one and immediately forgotten

scissorsaint

blood magic isn’t even that big of a deal you guys are just sensitive

genuine question what do you call the genre of story where it’s too magic to be magical realism but not magic enough to be fantasy. I’m thinking of films like groundhog day, big, stranger than fiction, freaky friday, etc. often they are of the “unexplained cosmic punishment” and/or “wish gone wrong” variety. is there any kind of meaningful umbrella term for that?

#my ulterior motive is that my book is in this category and I don’t know what to say in my pitch #I lot of these are described as fantasy but I feel like that’s misleading

fish-emoji

Took a random pill from someone in the club and now there is a fifth cardinal direction

#when I get too high this is genuinely my main fear #I get paranoid that I’m going to ‘find the secret angle’ and ‘step sideways out of reality’#which of course will erase me from existence #it makes sense in the moment.

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