suspiciously located aboard The Walrus

the reason 'grackles' are called that is because they're part of a grassroots cackling movement. the more you know

area man convinced that god is in gay love with them

nobody even knows how normal i am on account of my being obviously crazy

My psych professor mentioned swaddling in lecture so I emailed him a picture of me being swaddled in my dorm room and asked if I could get extra credit because it was really hot in there and I got really sweaty and he was like “fabulous, sure”

A standard porno with the bad acting and music and whatnot but partway through the action the camera pans to a millipede and hunting spider locked in a duel for survival, the sounds of sex fade out and the scene in the background blurs, epic battle music starts to play

you're like that guy from the mummy

why aren’t people making deceptively amateur found footage horror movies and then burning them onto dvds and leaving them places

never mind this is the same instinct that almost got me kicked out of church camp

I could’ve sworn I’ve told this story before but the tldr is that when I was 12 I went to a christian summer camp and thought it would be a great idea to write fictional diary pages from a missing camper and hide them around the campgrounds as some sort of interactive epistolary horror story. the counselors found these pages and especially did not like all the stuff about demons. they proceeded to shut down the activities of the whole camp and force us all to search each other’s stuff. I pretended to search along with everyone else until I finally burst into tears and confessed. they had a long conversation with me about sin

why aren’t people making deceptively amateur found footage horror movies and then burning them onto dvds and leaving them places

never mind this is the same instinct that almost got me kicked out of church camp

i have wild sentences roaming through me at all times