I Have It On Ultimate Authority: I’m The Best

I would never make it as a bird. The stress of keeping the eggs warm all the time would be too much for me.

I'm a Buddhist Inverse Solipsist. I believe that I am the only guy still in samsara, and all of reality is a truman-show-like act by billions of bodhisattvas who are just humoring me.

I'm a Theo-Illegslist Muslim. I believe that Islam was the original religion practiced by Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. However, I also believe I shouldn't be held by a divine covenant I wasn't there to sign.

I'm a polytheist with high standards. The pantheon only has the one. For now.

I'm a Post-Nicene Navajo Arianist. I believe that Christ was NOT co-eternal with God the Father, and that Coyote is part of the godhead. I actively refuse to explain how.

I'm a protestant accelerationist. I want the Catholic Church to sell more indulgences so god will smite them faster.

I'm a scientific puritan. I believe the only way to truly test if humans have free will is to try and convince Christ to kill himself.

I'm a Judeo-Islamic Para-evangelist. I believe the Messiah will only return once every jinn has converted to Judaism.

I'm a Sumerian Traditionalist. All the gods are dead because we haven't fed their idols in 2400 years.

We gotta do something about ecoableism, guys, I can't keep seeing people confidently assure everyone that their ideal world is one where disabled people with specific needs don't get to be alive.

This is what Into the Woods meant when it said nice is different than good.

The thing is you can have a grassy lawn or even a golf course without it being an ecological disaster, you just have to a: be cool about having the occasional non-grass plant in the mix and b: be willing to live in a climate that supports grass without irrigation.

Golf courses in California are an abomination which is why the sport was in fact invented in Scotland.

I always thought that golf as a sport should be adapted to the local native landscape. I think this will encourage regional pride when local golfers completely trounce visitors at Swamp Golf, Desert Golf, Forest Golf, etc. Rich tourists will be pressured to travel extensively to experience all forms of golf, instead of staying in their backyard country club golf courses. Internet discourse will probably somehow get worse but I think this is a small price to pay.

Are those expensive "gamer chairs" actually comfy? Asking for a friend (who can't afford one anyway).

Every time I mention furniture on this website a bunch of people in the notes for some reason assume that I live within Ikea's delivery radius. I have absolutely no idea why people assume this. Ikea is six hours away. Also their furniture is fragile and I do not like to sit on it, but mostly, they are six fucking hours away.

it still makes me go insane that somehow no social media site bothers to implement interleaved text and images. Fediverse cannot support it broadly, Bluesky can't handle it, Facebook can't do it, Twitter can't do it, fucking, LinkedIn doesn't do this, somehow only Tumblr has this, and it barely even counts as a popular social media site.

well you see we're the new pdf

dr frankenstein was one of the first to invent a guy to be mad about

uh i understand your knight kink post is engaging with the literary construct of the knight rather than the historical actually existing social role but you really failed to engage with the themes and tropes of late medieval grail literature

I don't trust anyone who hasn't acknowledged their capacity for evil.

"I'm just a smol bean uwu" No sir, what you are is someone who is so habituated to thinking of yourself as innocent that you will continue to do so even when you're guilty.

I enjoy a joke about fucked up German fairy tales as much as the next nerd, but it's genuinely striking how often the source for the really fucked up stuff turns out to be "yeah, this is only in the Brothers Grimm version and doesn't appear in any extant oral tradition, and we're like 80% sure they added it themselves". To a large extent it's not German fairy tales that are fucked up, it's two specific German dudes.

in retrospect we probably should have given the fairy tale writing to the Brothers Happy instead

*putting my hand in the cavernous space between what you are and what you pretend to be, and wiggling it around* woah haha is there meant to be that much emptiness here? lol are you like okay bestie? omg this kind of tickles my hand does this tickle your nothing? #yournothing <3

it's okay for you to find this post sexual. I put the sensual feeling in there on purpose. you don't need to do weird posturing about it.

a friend has informed me that this post made its way to bluesky. they're putting pieces of my soul on other websites. I want to hear about it any time you see one. collect my evil screenshots, like a slenderman but I'm fat.

Strange racists and homophobes on the internet seem to have access to an alternate way cooler version of TV than me. "every white character on TV is in an interracial relationship" "every show has a gay couple in it" "main characters keep having to secretly be bisexual and nonbinary" "every show has gratuitous full frontal nudity" like damn promise?? What channel???

as a black gay person real like where y'all be finding this stuff pass the name

for real though, those DO NOT WATCH OR YOU'LL CORRUPT YOUR CHILDREN lists put out by conservative christian family groups is where I find all the stellar tv shows. Like, shit I didn't know half of those existed, thanks for finding them for me, gonna go watch 30 hours of gay tv now!

Similar effect for the presence/proportion of women in things, by the way: https://health.howstuffworks.com/mental-health/human-nature/perception/how-17-equals-496-the-amazing-multiplying-women.htm

What’s the solution then? Or if there’s no solution, should we make things even queerer and more diverse?

Genuinely the answer is yes. If you are past the threshold of "existing within view" you have surpassed the comfort zone of bigots. They begin crying wolf at 5%, but have no more volume to give when you reach 50%, so in reality there is no meaningful difference of response once you have shown them one queer person on screen. My dad sincerely would do this all the time (but more specifically would moan about an actor with leftist views being in a show or movie), and frankly his complaints did not differ between 1 person he disliked being present and 12 being there. He's still gonna watch the Jason Bourne movies religiously (yes he hates Matt Damon but watches all his movies)

everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.