the straights are. Unfortunate

sound on!!!

Perform the Sleep action Without gaining the "Well Rested" status effect.

absolutely love it when girls go "lately i'm obsessed with" and then say the most mundane thing ever

its unreal how all of my favorite characters have exactly the same traits and hobbies and diagnoses as me

oh, have you been tricked into loving yourself?

oh my fucking god is that what just happened

You just don't get content like this anywhere else

ngl deep respect to this person for hauling ass and getting shit done for their friend like laugh all you want but this person was RIDE OR DIE

historical inaccuracies in period dramas are okay as long as i like them

they are, however, punishable by death if i don’t

Shoelace Superhell

weird how no one ever comments on the absence of smells unprompted. the nose just isn't a topic of conversation unless it's urgent huh

my mom purposely overpaid her credit card bill by 1 cent so every month they send her a letter that says they owe her 1 cent and it costs them a dollar to send the letter plus the paper. she is costing corporations money 👍

Yes, but the added environmental cost of mailing a paper letter...

do you think they cut down a whole tree because my mom overpaid one cent. do you think they make one new piece of paper every time they need one

But trucks have to move that paper!

are you not aware that those trucks would be going either way. they aren’t taking another trip for one envelope

hello my name is billy postman, operator of the world's smallest and most environmentally harmful mail truck. it is one envelope big and requires thirty seven gallons of fuel to go one mile. (I personally am about one and a half envelopes big) my beloved truck is very slow and very loud and I hate both flora and fauna so so so much. I love corporations though

Will anything ever bring us as much joy and comedic bliss as the reveal of Jason Mendoza? Will I ever feel as alive as I did in that moment when Jason utters the words "heaven is so racist"? Will there ever be a moment in time that slaps me so hard in the face with surprise as the moment Jianu the monk rapidly turns into Jason the Jacksonville dirtbag? Will we as a society ever capture that kind of magic again?

okay, skeletons have xylophones, demons have fiddles, ghosts have theremins and vampires have pipe organs. but what of the humble werewolf? what instrument does she get for her very own?

Werewolves are vocalists. What instrument could rival her beautiful howl?

G… gender roles? [I open my hand, confused, and reveal a fistful of dnd dice] Which one do I…?

I love how hard Steve is laughing.

Assigned Daquan at the Stand up comedy club

Anyway if you see this you have to reblog and tag with a delight from ur day -- even the littlest thing counts