Big Heart, Little Money

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

fuckkkk my sacrificial lamb has started hanging out with the scapegoat

im so sick of unnecessary dinner scenes in movies 😡 every fucking movie they just want to titillate you with some food because they think you’re a dumb animal who just wants to see mashed potatoes bouncing. if its an IMPORTANT dinner scene where they explain lore then whatever i understand. but they shove useless meals into every movie these days and its disgusting

well, no, i didn’t expect leopards to eat my face, but this obviously wasn’t what the leopards eating people's face party wanted. they were stifled by their opposition and bureaucratic red tape! i think we should give more power to the leopard eating face party, so the leopards only eat the faces of people who deserve it. plus they just put a new leopard in charge of the face eating, and i think this one really brings something new to the table. so yes i'm voting for the leopards eating people's face party again. why wouldn't i.

if everything is going to gradually become outrage marketing can we at least have some fun with it and do the movie remakes with all-women casts again

this summer delainey hayles and bailey bass play the narrator and tyler durden

where's that native meme that's like "lol you worship the sun lmao" and they respond "ok. the sun is real"

We need more women characters who are Male Protagonists. You know. Slightly haggard. She's splashing cold water on her face and gripping the edge of the sink staring in the mirror for a minute. She's coping badly with her deadwife

i'll call on the power of the stoat..!

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

I just felt someone Z-target me

[clearly circle-strafing you] don't be ridiculous

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

supid

supid.

body positivity has largely failed because people started arguing for attractiveness and romantic prospects instead of respect and dignity

The old school lack of transparency on tumblr is amazing because you assume the people you follow must all be equivalent to you and then you see someone write “I brought my youngest to college today” and someone else write “my mom wouldn’t let me listen to Ariana Grande when I was a kid” and then your head explodes

and we need that! keeps us humble. 

Then I'm just like WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE AN ADULT

It goes the other way, too, because WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE A CHILD?!!

I'm 16, that's like, barely a child

I'm in my 30s. You are baby

I'm older than both of you in a trenchcoat.

honestly one of the best things we can do for ourselves is realize that people of different ages than us can still be the same kind of person as us. it's humbling and it gives everyone involved a sense of continuity, and it busts those stupid generational stereotypes media is so fond of.

can you imagine how good shows would be if writers thought of women as human beings