Time Travel Shenanigans!

Edit: And here's a 5 minute video from the same exhibition.

Es hängen jetzt sogar Schilder dort:

James T. Kirk:

-Graduated in the top 4% of his year -was bullied by jocks -Is a history nerd -was so much of a teacher’s pet that he cheated on an exam and was commended for it -Was referred to as “a stack of books with legs”

Jean-Luc Picard:

-Spent all his free time drinking in pubs and playing billiards -broke more hearts than he can remember -started a bar fight that ended up in him being stabbed in the heart -likes to explore dangerous ruins of ancient civilizations for fun -wouldn’t even have become a starship captain if he wasn’t this much of a hothead

Jim Kirk seems like a wild man because he’s standing next to calm, logical Spock.*  

Meanwhile, Picard seems stately and dignified because he’s standing next to Will “Any alien physiology is bangable if you just put some thought into it” Riker*.  

* Of course THEN, we get to the next layer, which is that Spock is the dude who told the Vulcan Science Academy to fuck itself, while Riker plays the trombone.

There’s also the perception problem brought on by memetic mutation, where memes are better known than source material. So, people tend to think of these as exemplars of the characters:

Kirk kisses all the alien girls! Picard is reading ancient literature on the sex planet! Hur hur!

However.

Kirk-

Is being held hostage by a shapeshifting ex-Captain having a psychotic episode

The woman kissing him is attempting to use Alien Magic Roofie Viagra as an interrogation tactic

He is not consenting. Ten minutes prior he was being tortured. He is not OK right now.

This is after he tries repeatedly to make this not happen, knowing she is not only also under duress, but having a mental health crisis of her own.

The information they are trying everything to get out of him is the password to beam out of a high security mental health facility.

That code is the correct countermove in a 3D chess match Captain Nerd played against his Vulcan boyfriend who calculates high energy physics problems in his head for fun.

He won the chess game

He usually wins

This drives Spock to distraction

I repeat, this is a man who teases his boyfriend about beating him at chess by using his winning move as a password because Spock’s fractional eye twitch makes his day.

Picard

Is only there because his therapist, first officer, and doctor forced him to take a vacation after he snapped at people because he had to play diplomat for like, a month.

Is sulking because the woman he wants to go warp ten with conspired with “Where There’s A Will There’s A Way” Riker to send him to Sandals Sex Resort Planet.

Literally, he is doing this only because his crush has the power to kick him off the ship by force, and it was go quietly or Look Bad In Front of His Crush

Who again, is well aware he wants to Pon her Farr and conspired to send him to Sandals Sex Resort Planet

He has, therefore, resolved that he Will Not Have Fun to Show Them All that This Is Dumb And He’s Fine Actually

He is immediately macked on, braced by Ferengi, discovers the “souvenir” Willing-and-able Riker asked for is a portable Uber Delivery Sex Edition charm (and he definitely isn’t having sex on sex planet when the woman he wants to Dixon-Hill-down ordered him there,) and braced by the woman that lip wrestled him before time travelling aliens inform him that his destiny is to spend the weekend doing Indiana Jones Shit.

Well, if it’s in the timeline! Can’t go against the timeline! 🤷🏼‍♂️

Spends the rest of his weekend swashing every buckle in sight, swapping phaser fire and witticisms with three separate factions, one of whom he’s supposed to be in league with

While secretly playing against everyone

While hurling misdirection and smoldering looks at his local femme fatale

Whom he outplays

AND THEN DEFINITELY DIDN’T FUCK 😉😉😉

And then returns to his ship and refuses to give anyone the satisfaction of kissing and telling

Simply answering the question of, “did you at least have a good time?” With a smirk and, “uh-huh.”

Kirk is a nerd in committed relationship with the galaxy’s most most edgy Vulcan rebel. He plays chess and listens to his boyfriend play lute and desperately tries to get people to stop kissing him while he’s discussing ethics and philosophy.

Sometimes, Grace will do it without thinking. That’s how Kiddo and Buddy got their nicknames. Often, Grace will nickname students after their coloration. Gaia got his nickname because he’s blue and green, and apparently looks a lot like Earth. Violet got hers because she’s purple. (She was initially disappointed since color means nothing to Eridians, but then Friend Grace showed them violet flowers and said that humans often associated purple with wealth and royalty, and she changed her tune.) Most of the time, Grace will give his students what he calls “regular human names” like Abby, Carl, or Martin.

But the most coveted nicknames are ones named after Earthen creatures. When ♩♪♬ 🎵 ♩♪♬ 🎵 first introduced themselves, Friend Grace immediately perked up and shouted “Robin!” After a bit of explaining himself and a few videos of bird calls, Robin was trilling and chirping happily, excited at having a nickname that felt like a 1-to-1 translation of their own.