Seldom Seen Kid

can we nominate him for the Darwin award

feeling fundamentally unloveable after 11pm is so funny because you can’t even do anything about it. you just have to sit there like Okay

yeah you can TRY and go to bed. but watch out

i’m crossing the street and i get hit by a tesla on self-drive. off goes the yuppie, hit-and-run. lady saw it happen and she’s trying to keep it together, getting someone to call paramedics and keeping me talking, but the writing’s on the wall folks, i’m fucked. so i say to the lady, i say “listen. the optimal vessel for enjoying hot soup is a mug, not a bowl.” she’s looking at me like i’m insane but i explain, i say “a bowl, especially a flat one, has more surface area for the soup to cool off. your soup gets cold too fast in a bowl, especially a flat one. you want a mug. soup stays hot the whole time and you can actually enjoy it how it was meant to be enjoyed.” she’s nodding, tears in her eyes, she knows it’s coming now. but there’s something else comin she don’t know. we both get hit by the second tesla

posts that have 10k notes in my heart

star trek heritage post (August 15th, 2020)

Not sure what’s going on here but I’d hit that.

the spectre of communism is real and he's leaving you on read