king of approving when you stand your ground
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king of approving when you stand your ground

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george forgets which neopronouns his partner uses. elaine starts dating a guy with her birthname, and discovers his birthname is elaine. jerry takes newman’s comment that he isnt “really” butch because he uses bath salts to heart. an ominous horoscope drives kramer to audition for rupaul’s drag race.
JERRY: Well, maybe it’s any pronouns.
GEORGE: No, Jerry, it’s not any pronouns! I’d know if it was any pronouns! If they used any pronouns, I would’ve defaulted to “she” by now!
JERRY: Yeah, you would have, wouldn’t you.
(LAUGH TRACK)
GEORGE: Look, Jerry, please, you gotta help me. They’re gonna be here in less than ten minutes, just ask them while I’m in the room. Ten seconds, over and done with. Please.
JERRY: You want me to ask for pronouns?
GEORGE: (FALLS UPON KNEES) JERRY I’M BEGGIN’ YOU!
JERRY: …Tell me I look butch.
GEORGE: WHAT?
JERRY: You heard me. Tell me. I look. Butch.
GEORGE: Jerry, I - I can’t -
JERRY: See, you hesitated! What is it? Is it the shirt, the hair -
GEORGE: Jerry please, we don’t have time for this! JERRY: Ten seconds to ask your new partner what their pronouns are, and you can’t spare any time to tell me what about me passes as femme? GEORGE: …The deodorant is a bit much, I mean, peach-scented deodorant -
JERRY: I KNEW it!
(KRAMER enters through the front door, dressed in nothing but a bra, flesh-colored leggings and a long, blonde wig) KRAMER: Do either of you have any spirit gum? It’s kind of an emergency!
KRAMER: You know I hate to intrude, but uh, what kind of pronouns would you mind me using for you?
(Both JERRY and GEORGE turn discreetly to listen) BRICK: Oh, thank you for asking! Any pronouns are fine!
GEORGE: AAAGH!
(GEORGE stumbles to the floor.)
ELAINE: So they broke up with you, huh?
GEORGE: She didn’t buy my story about fleeing a sudden fire.
JERRY: You’ve got to stop defaulting to she/her.
GEORGE: ANY PRONOUNS, JERRY! She/her is a perfectly valid pronoun! I could’ve had a she/her, a they/them, a xe/xir, Jerry I could’ve had it all.
ELAINE: Still, she/her for Brick? I wouldn’t have guessed, I mean, they were more butch than Jerry.
(JERRY drops his spoon in his diner soup. George and Elaine are unphased. Laugh track.)
GEORGE: So, your relationship is going SO great, huh? With Mr. Deadname?
ELAINE: Yeah, well, I’m probably gonna cut things off. I mean, I got rid of that name for a reason, yknow? Too much baggage.
JERRY: You’re jealous he was born an Elaine?
ELAINE: Look, I don’t see what’s so bad about being an Elaine! I mean, look at me, am I not the picture perfect Elaine? I was born to be Elaine. My parents didn’t know what they were THINKING not naming me Elaine, but does he care? No. Just tosses Elaine aside like an old sandwich.
GEORGE: An old sandwich?
ELAINE: Yeah, you’d toss that out, right?
GEORGE: How old?
ELAINE: I don’t know, a week?
(GEORGE sits in quiet thought)
JERRY: Maybe he’s thinking the same thing about you.
ELAINE: What do you mean?
JERRY: Well, maybe he’s been wracking his brain trying to figure out why you’d throw away a name as perfect as…
(ELAINE glares at JERRY)
JERRY: …You know.
ELAINE: No. There’s no way. With a name like that he’s lucky anyone is even interested.
GEORGE: They have a point-
ELAINE: Default back to she/her.
GEORGE: She has a point, Jerry. Not only can I not imagine Elaine’s parents picking a name like that, I can’t imagine being an adult and choosing that name. It wouldn’t be anybody’s deadname, it shouldn’t be anybody’s name. It’s just one prolonged mistake.
ELAINE: Better name than George.
(LAUGH TRACK)
JERRY: Maybe it’s the opposite.
ELAINE: What do you mean?
JERRY: Well, maybe he picked you up because he misses having Elaine in his life.
GEORGE: You don’t think he’s…?
JERRY: No, just likes the name. Maybe he realized he’s got some attachment to the name, but he doesn’t want it for himself.
ELAINE: …I could live with that.
(LAUGH TRACK, KRAMER enters in a torn green sequin dress, wig cap, smeared make up, and holding a blonde beehive wig under one arm.)
JERRY: How long did you last?
KRAMER: I didn’t even make it on. I got into a fight with Katya Zamolodchikova.
GEORGE: Over what?
(KRAMER makes some sort of KRAMER sounds and wild hand gestures, the others nod.)
(ELAINE’S BOYFRIEND enters)
JERRY: Oh, hey Blaine.
you, a generalist unspecialized mouse or mouselike mammal:
- food goes from esophagus to stomach to intestine
- can eat and digest almost anything
- adaptable and can survive in many different environments
me, a specialized sanguivorous vampire bat:
- food goes from esophagus to intestine to stomach to intestine
- can only eat blood
- will die if I don’t eat for one night (unless someone vomits in my mouth)
- will die if there’s not enough humidity in the air
- will die if I exercise too much
- will become dehydrated if I drink too much
- constantly pissing so I’m not too heavy to fly
I’ve gotten a couple of requests for more info on this and also I fuckin’ love these horrible creatures so let me explain the digestive system of the vampire bat. I guarantee by the end you will be wondering how these creatures even exist.
Vampire bats are the only known obligate blood feeding vertebrates. Other animals like vampire finches supplement their blood diets with other stuff, depending on what’s available. This is because blood is a terrible food to live solely on.
Blood is, first and foremost, 92% just plain water. This means to gain appreciable nutritional value from it, you have to drink A LOT. Common vampire bats drink around 20 grams of blood each night, which doesn’t sound like much unless you realize that common vampire bats weigh, on average, around 30 grams. (Several of them could fit snugly in a teacup.) That’s like if a person who weighed 150 pounds/68 kg drank 100 lbs/45 kg of fluid every night in half an hour.
This presents an issue, because vampire bats can’t just swell up into an orb and roll off when they’re done feeding- they need to be light enough to fly. So blood needs to be processed very fast by their digestive system so they can shed the water weight. This is why vampire bats start peeing within about two minutes of feeding, and continue peeing through their approximately 30 min feeding session. It shoots through their body that fast.
Peeing this much at once has consequences on the body, though. To put it briefly, while vampire bat pee is mostly clear water at the beginning of the feeding, it is dark with urea by the end. (Urea is a waste product from food that builds up in the body and is released by urine.) Because they need to keep peeing to process the blood fast and dump toxic urea from the body, their urine becomes more and more concentrated as their bodies run out of water to dilute their urine with. So even though bats may consume 2/3 or more of their body weight of fluid each night, the vast majority of which is water, they may become dehydrated.
Their high risk of dehydration is why they can’t handle dry environments, and why you don’t find them outside of tropical environments. (Really it’s a miracle these creatures can survive at all.)
Blood isn’t just a troublesome food because you need to drink a lot of it to live. It’s troublesome because even with the water taken out, the nutritional value of what remains SUCKS, no pun intended. It’s literally basically just some proteins and iron. And while that may be why vampire bats are so jacked (seriously, they’re very muscular in places most bats aren’t), it is extremely difficult to thrive on. One big reason is that blood contains almost no fat, which is crucial to most animals because it provides spare batteries- essentially, stored energy we can use if food is scarce.
A vampire bat does not have this backup. They will literally die within about 36 hours of not feeding. Even mice can live 3-4 days without food, and they normally live for two years as opposed to a vampire bat’s 12-20 years. (Depending on their environment.) Each and every night in a vampire bat’s life is on a knife’s edge, teetering towards starvation.
These bats do help each other, however, by regurgitating small amounts of blood for their hungry colony mates who haven’t found food for the night. Without this behavior I’m not sure the species would be anywhere near the populations it has now; they might not be able to thrive at all considering how desperately mothers with pups need the food. It takes most small bats about two weeks to wean their pups. It can take vampire bats up to nine months to wean their pups (though more generally it’s around four months) because their milk suffers from the same lack of nutrition as their food. They also have unusually long pregnancies (5-7 months; other similar-sized bats average around 6 weeks) for the same reason.
The energy budgeting for the vampire bats is so severe that they actually have a sharp limit for how far they can fly before they become exhausted. Vampire bats are not known to migrate or even relocate because frankly, they might end up dropping dead out of the sky.
So, to recap, each day is a struggle between life and death, the bats teeter between drinking too much and becoming too heavy to fly and/or dehydrated, or drinking too little and dying on the way back. This is a highly successful species we’re talking about here. How they’re so successful with these constraints is a mystery to me, although it might have something to do with their high intelligence.
I haven’t covered one thing, which is the structure of the vampire bat’s digestive system. So. For the vast majority of vertebrates, food goes in the mouth, down the esophagus, into the stomach and through the intestines. Let’s call the esophagus/stomach/intestine routine ABC. Vampire bats… take a slightly different route. Using these letters, their digestive order would be ACBC.
Take a look at the following diagram. An average insect-eating bat’s organs are shown on the left, while those of a vampire bat are on the right.
You may notice that things are a bit… off. Unlike practically any other vertebrate on the planet, a vampire bat’s esophagus splits into two branches. One branch leads directly to the intestines, the other to the stomach. The stomach and intestines are not connected in any other way.
The question is: why? Why this? Why do you have to be like this, vampire bats?
Naturally, the answer is in the diet again. The bat uses its intestines to pull out the negligible nutrition from the blood quickly, then sends the resulting wastewater to the stomach, which balloons tremendously even as it rapidly sends the water to the kidneys to be processed into urine. (Then later they have sludgy black poops.) Even with their fast urination system, bats only manage to shed about a quarter of their water weight by the time they lift off into a sloshy flight, weighing easily twice as much as when they left. See the “before and after” shots below.
(Both photos taken by Jon Flanders. Hey kids, contrary to these images, never touch a bat with bare hands, much less a bat that can deliver extremely deep wounds as well as the bacteria and viruses of whatever animal they just fed on. Don’t Do That™)
Anyway. I need to stop talking about vampire bat digestion because this got uhhhhhh long. It’s a fascinating yet mystifying subject. If you want to learn more I recommend Dark Banquet: Blood and the Lives of Blood-Feeding Creatures by Bill Schutt. I learned a lot of stuff that I wrote here from that particular book, and it makes for a pretty good read (even though I disagree with his hypothesis about how vampirism evolved in bats). If you’re interested in vampire bat behavior, which is equally interesting, I recommend looking into the research of Gerry Carter.
quarterly reminder that if i reblog something ai-generated it is 110% and always an accident and for the love of god please tell me so i can delete it from my blog

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i don't know the etiquette for posting other peoples tiktoks but the delivery of this punchline hit me like a FUCKING TRUCK please
NikhilClayton <- you should follow this guy on tiktok he's fucking hilarious
The closing stinger is ART.
“It's not fair.” The little ghost kicks impotently at the chalk lines around her feet. “I ain't done nothing.”
I nod, setting down my chalk and spellbook. “It does sound like there might have been a bit of a misunderstanding.”
“She took against me, that's what happened,” the dead girl says with a scowl. She looks about fourteen, round faced and spotty, with whisps of brown hair peaking out from under her mob-cap. Her face and her crossed arms have a tell-tale bluish tinge to them. A cholera death.
“I been here for don't know how long and never gave any trouble. Nobody ever complained about me 'till her.”
…well, that's not strictly true.
Number 12, Barclay Street has been attracting rumours of haunting since the mid nineteenth century.
Sounds of faint singing and crying in the corridors at night. Cold spots. Doors that open and close by themselves. Animals acting strangely. Harmless, mid to low-level stuff, typical for a bored teenage poltergeist.
Still, pointing that out isn't likely to achieve much, and certainly the most recent complaints of blood running down the walls, screams in the dark and paralysing night terrors seem distinctly out of character.
The ghost toes the chalk again, more tentatively this time. It stays resolutely unbroken.
She could get out if she wanted to. I'm not one of those assholes who brings out their full arsenal of wards and sigils for a first meeting with a level 2 spectre. The summoning circle will keep her in one place for as long as I need her to talk, but it wouldn't hold for a moment if she really fought against it.
I take it as a good sign that she's still here. Pouting or not, she's clearly willing to work with me.
“None of the others could do this,” she says. “None of 'em even saw me.” She looks up. “Are you here to exise me?”
“Exorcise,” I say instinctively, and curse myself when she flinches. “Sorry, no, no! I don't exorcise people from their homes without good reason, not if they're happy where they are.”
“I was happy. Till she started calling in all them ghost hunters.”
Mrs Delaney had been quite persistent in her attempts to 'fix' her haunted house. Most of the people she found were charlatans, of course, but I'd still arranged an appointment as fast as I could once word reached me. It wouldn't have been long before she happened upon somebody with Talent, and unfortunately not everybody in this field knows how to behave like a professional.
“I think we might be able to help each other,” I say, careful to keep my voice calm and level.
“Don't see how. Not unless you can exorcise Her.”
“Not quite what I had in mind.” I pull out my phone and scroll through my photos. “You say that you're not the cause of the most recent incidents of paranormal activity?”
A pause. The ghost gnaws on her lip. I wait, patiently, keeping my body language open and nonthreatening. “I… I knocked her coffee cup over,” she admits at last. “She was being mean and talking on her telephone, saying I done all these things when I never did! So I decided to show her what I could do if I wanted.”
“Hmm.” The ghost eyes me nervously, as if expecting me to pull out a book, bell and candle and banish her on the spot.
“I only tipped it,” she adds. “I didn't break it or nothing!”
“You shouldn't have touched it at all,” I say sternly. “But… I can appreciate that you were frustrated, so let's say no more about it.”
The ghost looks relieved.
“My point is,” I continue, “if you weren't the one making blood rain from the ceiling or tormenting people in their sleep, then what was? There's no other ghosts on the property.” I find the picture I was looking for. “You can get anywhere around the house, right? Including behind the furniture and in the backs of cupboards?”
“Yes'm.”
I hold the phone up so that she can see the picture on the screen. “I'm going to let you go free in a moment, and I need you to see if you can find anything that looks like this.”
The ghost wrinkles her forehead. “What's that when it's at home?”
“Black mould,” I say, reaching out a foot to break the binding circle. “And I'm pretty sure it's the cause of this haunting.”
Catastrophize Benedictine
Coming up around the corner, it’s…
Fear of Abandonment Sushi!
and pulling up ahead is dissacociation marshmallow
Heightened Sensory Sensitivities Tea 🫠
Anhedonia Pretzel
i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”
The first attested cat in Japan was given to a young 9th century emperor and his diary about it includes such gems as 'I affixed a bow about its neck, but it did not remain for long.", "The color of the fur is peerless. None could find the words to describe it, although one said it was reminiscent of the deepest ink.", "When it lies down, it curls in a circle like a coin. You cannot see its feet. It’s as if it were circular Bi disk." and "I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.” Basically posting about how his void is the best little void and so good at getting really round
"Now that I have a few spare moments I shall write a description of my cat. This black cat of mine had previously been given to the former emperor by Minamoto no Suguru, the Junior Assistant Governor-General of Dazaifu, upon his return to the capital after completing his term of office. The emperor loved the colour of the cat’s fur, which is truly beyond compare. Other cats are a light black colour, but this cat is dark black like a crow, and very much resembles the Chinese dog “Blackie.”
My cat is a foot and a half in length and about six inches in height. When he curls up he is very small, looking like a black millet berry, but when he stretches out he is long, resembling a drawn bow. The pupils of his eyes sparkle, dazzlingly bright like shiny needles flashing with light, while the points of his ears stick straight up, unwaveringly, looking like the bowl of a spoon. When he crouches he becomes a ball without feet, resembling a round jade taken from the depths of a cave. My cat moves silently, making not a single sound, like a black dragon above the clouds.
By nature he has a preference for Taoist-style health practices and instinctively follows the “five-bird regimen.” He always keeps his head and tail low against the ground. But when he arches his back, he extends some two feet in height. His fur is lustrous, perhaps on account of his Taoist health practices. He is good at catching mice at night, better at it than other cats.
The former emperor enjoyed the cat for several days and then gave him to me. I have cared for him now for five years. Every morning I give him milk gruel. It is not simply that I am impressed by the cat’s many talents; I have felt particularly keen to lavish the utmost care upon him, however insignificant such a creature may really be, because he was given to me by the former emperor. I once said to the cat, “You possess the forces of yin and yang and have a body that is the way it should be. I suspect that in your heart you may even know all about me!” The cat heaved a sigh, raised his head, and stared fixedly at my face, seeming so choked with emotion, his heart so full of feeling, that he could not say a thing in reply."
via

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something that i DO find fascinating abt both phm and interpretations of it is when folks say things along the lines of “the point of grace’s lack of attachments isn’t that he’s aroace, the point of grace’s lack of attachments is that he’s refused to open himself up enough to form ANY close bonds because he’s a coward” because like. not only is it very possible for both to be true, i think that reading both as being the case continues to enhance the story AND speaks a very honest truth about how being aroace might have affected his life?
like. imagine you are grace. you have a life you enjoy where you get to teach kids you’re fond of about a subject you love. you’ve been hanging out with your friend marissa weekly for years (!) and you have a lot of peers on project hail mary who you respect and even have fun with. but! you’re also like 40, and you know how the world works - at the end of the day, at the end of the project, all of those people will go back to their parents and families and partners. the people whose names are on their emergency contact forms and birth certificates and marriage licenses and apartment leases. no matter how much you care about them, and no matter how much they care about you, there is always someone else in their life who is Above you, and Before you, because That’s How The World Works.
so like… yeah. lmao. aroace grace not opening himself up all the way because he anticipates pain and wants to avoid that is a kind of protective hedging that i find very likely for him to engage in? even if he opens himself up to the people around him, the fact is that most of those people will only reciprocate to whatever degree they/society deem acceptable for friendship, even if they like him a lot.
which is why, imo, the very careful portrayal of grace and rocky’s friendship in the phm film reads as extremely aroace-coded. because it’s not “rocky specifically is Special and Likable in a way which fixes all of grace’s hangups and allows him to open up” - it’s “rocky has a partner to go home to, but on multiple occasions, puts grace Above and Before that in a way which grace is unused to, because grace comes from a society which culturally and legally devalues the types of relationships he wants and holds most dear.” and once rocky shows that he is willing to reciprocate friendship and care to a degree grace could never expect from anyone on earth, grace no longer needs to maintain the kind of emotional defenses he always has. grace likes rocky and wants to be friends from the moment they meet, of course, but only lets himself form SUCH a close bond after rocky demonstrates that he, too, does not place an earth-society-style limit on the strength of their friendship. and they’re both better off for it!
Thats the context for this meme???
I feel like I've been robbed the whole time. This is magical.
i think one of the best parts about being a teenager in the early to mid 2010s was that cigarettes were definitely not cool anymore and vapes hadn’t popularized yet so my lungs made it out of my peak impressionable years relatively unscathed
I have such a vivid memory of being like 13, and seeing this ad on YouTube saying that they had gotten childhood smoking down to 7% in America. I was so happy for all my fellow American children. Then the following year, vaping came out.

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Hate how much A Little Treat has infested me. Any small discomfort and I'm immediately like oooo maybe exchanging money for goods and services will fix this situation.
Sometimes
SOMETIMES
Going to the library can activate A Little Treat pleasure centers
Coming home with music and books and some movies, and paying zero dollars for it all
It’s pretty awesome
You don't even have to leave the house if you use the resources the library can provide electronically (Libby, Hoopla, etc.).
Oh fuck yeah this is a library post now!!!!
official library post
Artist: Tim Brierley
Posting this for my soul cat Kenzie (she passed a few years ago but I still think of her every single day) and for everyone else who has lost someone they love. ❤️