That's me. I'm the best ass eater.

hmm... this highly personal vent post seems like the perfect place to lay my roleplay egg...

I know that, as Americans, we live awash in a sea of anti-China propaganda and as such a lot of us on the left want to course correct and cut through the lies to stop seeing China as some great evil, and that is definitely a good instinct and desire, but in the process of unfucking ourselves from US propaganda it's important to not then immediately walk into supporting Chinese propaganda. I feel like I've seen more and more folks in my communities jump on the rather concerning trend of uncritically accepting Chinese news and the word of the Chinese government as the antithesis of Americas lies about the country, but the truth is that both the US and China are massive imperialist nations with major skeletons in the closet, whom have committed atrocities to attain and sustain their power, and who continue to exert their influence on the global stage in pursuit of their own ends, and who are constantly attempting to shape narratives about their own countries, their governments actions, and the world at large. Please apply the same critical thinking skills, skepticism, and standards you would hold US news to when talking about other large and influential nations, China very much included.

AAA video game publisher voice: "Look. The goose layed a golden egg, and that's nice! Everyone loved that egg. But keeping the golden goose means paying for bird feed and I don't want to, so I killed the goose."

Dead wife montage but it's all slow motion shots of your dead wife throwing grenades and doing backflips and oneshotting the enemy with their long range weapons

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

Mitch McConnell has been sent to a nice farm out in the country where there's lots of open space to run around and lots of other senators for him to play with

can we send him to the glue factory instead

it must be so freeing to be as stupid as a ceo. not a single thought echoing through that hollowed out skull. you get paid more money in 20 minutes than a handful of small countries make in a year combined to say the biggest number you can think of and if your company doesn’t hit that number you get to fire all of them