hey, transfems of tumblr, i need advice on how to support a closeted little sibling struggling with their gender identity.
okay, so, im transmasc. my little brother has known me as a boy for most of his life. hes never expressed any desire to "copy me" like little siblings tend to do. (i try to make it clear that being trans doesnt automatically make me cool)
for now ill be using he/him for my little sibling because he hasnt asked me to call him anything else and i dont wanna overstep any boundaries.
in the last couple years, ive noticed a lot of signs he might be struggling.
he loves doing things he perceives as feminine (shaving body hair, growing out hair long, wearing tight pale clothing, even borrowed a 'girls guide to everything' book). he knows they arent inherently feminine things, but he said he feels like it makes him personally feel more feminine
and hes made various jokes about not being a man, such as saying he could "siphon the estrogen from my blood so, we both win" or saying he will have boobs in the future.
and finally ive noticed some insecurity. for context, i live in a very sex and body positive household, and its not uncommon for my family members to discuss sexual hygiene or be partially nude. when my brother was little, he wasnt shy at all (we actually often had to explain to him that yes, he has to wear pants at the grocery store, and no, he cant take them off). but nowadays he seems very modest, bordering on scared or ashamed.
in some ways, his behavior could be explained by the fact that hes the only penis-having individual in the house. id understand if he felt a little insecure, considering hes just entered puberty and whatnot. i dont know whats going through his head and i dont wanna act on assumptions. he could very well be cis and just be struggling in an all (physically) female house.
but as a trans person, i have a gut feeling .........
and the issue is that i am transmasc, not transfem, and i do not know what its like in his (her?) shoes. i wanna support him badly, i do not want him to be alone, but i dont know how to make a possible transfem-in-denial feel safe and encouraged without being overbearing.
so, to all the trans women and transfems on tumblr comfortable talking about it, i ask this: how can i, a transmasc older brother, support my possibly transfem younger sibling without negatively impacting their progress in self-discovery?
