The lawn of the Johnson residence was currently serving as the stage for a very loud, very red, and very frustrated twenty-foot robot. Being yelled at by Knockout was, surprisingly, more confusing than scary. It was hard to feel intimidated when he was shouting in rapid-fire Cybertronianāa series of clicks, whirs, and guttural groans that sounded less like a threat and more like a malfunctioning printer.
"Do you understand anything heās saying?" Sally whispered, tugging on her twin brother Michael's sleeve. They were both twelve, and far too used to strange encounters with alien robots, but this was a new level of perplexing.
Michael squinted up at the furious red medic, whose faceplate seemed to be contorted in an expression of pure, unadulterated rage. "Iām pretty sure he said 'bacon' a few minutes ago," Michael mumbled back, his brow furrowing. "Not what bacon has to do with anything, though."
Knockout, who had paused his tirade only to glare at them, seemed to pick up on their conversation. His optics narrowed. āBacon? Bacon?!ā he roared, switching suddenly to English, the sound vibrating through their chests. āYou think this is about your ultra-processed animal fat strips?!ā
Sally recoiled slightly. "Ew."
"Well, I think Iām done with bacon for a while," Michael added, looking genuinely horrified by Knockoutās description.
Knockoutās optic started to twitch, or at least, the plates around it seemed to strain in a way that mimicked a human twitch. By the Allspark, he thought, humans had to be the most infuriatingly stubborn species in the universe. He had just finished an impassioned, carefully articulated condemnation of their reckless decision to contact him ā a decision that jeopardized not only their lives but the fragile, hidden existences of two other human children ā and all they took away from it was a culinary revelation about breakfast meat.
Michael, ever the keen observer, then pointed a finger towards the splintered remains of their mailbox, currently residing in what appeared to be their neighborās rose bushes, two houses down. "You probably kicked our mailbox into another state when you first started your rant, you know."
Knockout scoffed. āWhat does it matter?!ā
"It doesnāt, itās just," Sally began, rubbing her arm, "Mom and Dad are going to be back soon, and they are going to wonder what happened to the mailbox."
"Yeah," Michael chimed in, stepping closer to Sally. "And if they find out it was you, Momās probably going to go out and get a gun." He didn't sound particularly scared, more like he was stating a simple fact. Their mother had made similar threats before, after her terrifying encounter with Airachnid and her initial face-to-face meeting with Knockout and Breakdown.
Knockout rolled his optics, a deep, exasperated rumble echoing from his chassis. As if human firearms could do any harm to a Cybertronian. He truly despaired.
"And then sheās probably going to call the police, the military, the National Guard, the UN and maybe even NASA," Sally continued, listing them off with a practiced air.
"Not to mention that Agent Fowler guy," Michael added.
The mention of Fowler brought a flicker of genuine concern to Knockoutās optics. The childrenās parents knew just enough to be dangerous, and Fowler, for all his sternness, was the kidsā best human link to the Autobots. But a larger, more immediate threat gnawed at him. He leaned down, his voice dropping to a low, ominous growl that sent a shiver down their spines despite themselves. āDo you want your two human friends to be Megatronās newest victims? Do you want to be on the wrong end of a fusion cannon? Because that is precisely what will happen if you continue to involve yourselves with us.ā
The two froze. Jessie and Mickie. The names hung in the air, heavy with unspoken weight. They had been on the missing childrenās list in Japan (Jessie) and Canada (Mickie) for months now, disappeared from a world that assumed the mundane when the truth was far, far worse. Sally, whose past partnership with Knockout had made her privy to more of the Decepticon inner workings than Michael had with Breakdown, felt a cold knot tighten in her stomach.
"Are they⦠okay?" Sally's voice was barely a whisper.
Knockoutās expression softened, infinitesimally, for a fraction of a second. āThey are alive,ā he conceded, the words sounding grudging, as if dragged from him. Then his face hardened again, the red optics boring into them. āBut if Megatron finds out I have been with you, if he learns of our⦠past association, not only will he kill Jessie and Mickie, he will kill you, Sally. He will kill you, Michael. He will kill your parents, and he will kill everyone you know. And he will enjoy it.ā
The silence that followed was thick and suffocating, punctuated only by the distant squawking of gulls. Sally and Michael stared at the ground, the reality of Megatronās ruthlessness, a reality they knew firsthand, pressing down on them. Knockoutās warning, though harsh, came from a place of genuine, albeit conflicted, concern.
Suddenly, with an explosion of shattered glass and splintered wood, Dither, Doc Greeneās perpetually malfunctioning helper bot, burst through the kitchen window in a cloud of glass shards, clutching the Johnsons' toaster in his mechanical claws.
āToast? Toast?ā Dither chirped, his singular optic blinking erratically.
All three of them ā Sally, Michael, and the towering Decepticon medic ā just stared, completely dumbfounded. Once again, stuff like this never used to happen in Nevada.
āToast?ā Dither asked again, tilting his head.
"No thank you?" Sally ventured, her voice laced with utter bewilderment.
āTOAST!!!ā Dither shrieked, then zipped out through their back fence, leaving a perfectly Dither-shaped hole in the picket wood.
Complete silence descended once more, but this time it was a silence born of sheer, exhausted disbelief. Sallyās mouth hung open. She would never understand this town, and coming from a kid who spent the last eight months hanging out with giant alien robots, that was saying something.
"Did he just steal our toaster?" Michael asked, a faint giggle of hysteria bubbling up from deep within.
Knockout looked like his processor was ready to blow a fuse, or several fuses. His optical sensors whirred, attempting to process the sudden, nonsensical event. What exactly was it that Megatron saw in this Primus-forsaken planet? he asked himself, not for the first time. Nothing seemed worth dealing with the seemingly endless insanity humanity was capable of, let alone the particular brand of chaos unique to this bizarre island.
Before any of them could react further, a siren wailed, growing rapidly louder. Chase and Chief Burnsā police cruiser, lights flashing, sped past their house, hot on the trail of the runaway toaster thief. āYou will be compensated for any damages, young citizens!ā Chaseās synthesized robot voice boomed from the carās loudspeakers as they disappeared around the corner.
Close behind them, a fire truck, an ambulance, and a bulldozer, all with their sirens blaring and piloted by the rest of the Burns family ā Heatwave, Blades, and Boulder ā flashed by, a blur of red, white, and orange. The whole Rescue Bot team, plus their human partners, joining the chase for a toaster.
The twins just stared. Michael even slapped himself lightly on the cheek to see if he was awake. "This town is so weird," he muttered, shaking his head.
"I want to lie down," Sally sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. They wondered if Agent Fowler hadn't just moved them here for their safety, but as some kind of elaborate punishment for being friends with Decepticons in the first place.
"On the bright side," Michael offered, a sudden, conspiratorial grin spreading across his face, "maybe we can tell Mom and Dad the toaster bot took the mailbox."
Were those⦠Rescue Bots? Knockout internally asked. He, like all surviving Cybertronians, had thought they had all been wiped out during the war. A memory, faint and distant, of specialized bots, deployed for rescue operations before the conflict truly escalated, flickered through his processor. After a few seconds, Knockout decided he didnāt care. They could rust in this bizarre town for the Allsparkās sake. He just had to get out of here before he was infected with whatever was so fundamentally wrong with this island. This was too much even for him. He had faced Megatron, fought Autobots, even endured Breakdownās antics, but this⦠this was completely beyond his comprehension. His circuits screamed for an immediate, strategic retreat.