💥🥺DMDR🔪🪦

But she only cuddles with cute girls ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ Maybe some smooches too oho

- Hestia cooking while Artemis and Athena play the most savage game of checkers you’ve ever seen

- SOMEONE broke the checkerboard in half but in my defense Athena had just kinged her third piece and I felt physically threatened

- Artemis doing dramatic readings of abhorrent fan fiction while Hestia sits in silent horror and Athena prays over a copy of the Webster-Merriam Dictionary

- A Pillow/Sofa Cushion/The Decorative Sword Artemis PROMISED She Wouldn’t Bring Fight™ breaks out

- Hestia hiding behind the island in the kitchen with a pot lid shield because she’s a lover not a fighter

- Athena, however, is very much a fighter—and it’s okay, Hestia didn’t really like that lamp anyway

- Hestia rides bitch on the couch so there’s a DMZ between Artemis and Athena

- Artemis really really REALLY wants to watch Game of Thrones but the violence upsets Hestia so they talk her into Disney movies instead

- They start with Cinderella and Artemis is unimpressed, but Athena’s just glad Hestia’s enjoying herself. They sing along to all the songs while Artemis makes gagging noises

- Ditto during Snow White and Sleeping Beauty

- Then they pop in Tarzan and suddenly Artemis is all-ears, making them rewind all the songs so she can learn the words

- Artemis eats almost all the popcorn and proceeds to spit unpopped kernels back into the bow to entertain herself; Hestia doesn’t mind, though. She’s discovered that Athena has a surprisingly comfortable shoulder to rest her head on

Tucker Carlson: “I’ll be tormented for a long time by the fact that I played a role in getting Donald Trump elected. And I want to say that I’m sorry for misleading people.”

Man please. Easy to apologize when you’ve reaped millions for the role you played and will never be affected by anything Trump has done.

in 2012 the concept of the missing stair was, quite fittingly for the subjects I talk about on here, initially coined. Cliff Jerrison shared on his blog in 2012, speaks of a known rapist who, in spite of knowledge of his abuse, is continually welcomed to continue participating in BDSM & kink circles she frequents, and describes the attitude those around the rapist cultivate to "step around" his presence rather than confronting him entirely, resulting in him remaining active for months after his behaviour was known:

People had gotten so used to working around this guy, to accommodating his 'special requirements,' that they didn't feel like there was an urgent problem in their community.

at the beginning of the blog post, Cliff describes community members' reaction to a previous post discussing, but not naming, this individual:

When I posted about a rapist in a community I belonged to, although I gave almost no details about the guy except "he's a rapist," I immediately got several emails from other members of that community saying "oh, you must mean X." Everyone knew who he was! Tons of people, including several in the leadership, instantly knew who I meant. The reaction wasn't "there's a rapist among us!?!" but "oh hey, I bet you're talking about our local rapist."

everyone knew who this man was. everyone knew what he was doing. but there was a tacit agreement that everyone had come to to not disturb the peace regardless. not one openly discussed or planned, but one enabled by the foundation of community's dynamics: priding itself on being tightly-knit and a safe space; seeing itself as safer more In The Know about sexual violence and abuse than outsiders due to the rules they'd made themselves adhere to; seeing itself as a home for the Freaks and Weirdos who would otherwise be uncomfortably tolerated at best in Normie spaces, but who were welcomed with open arms in this kink space.

these dynamics formed the base of a community that prioritised staying silent and not rocking the boat over confronting issues directly, that enabled a man with a history of sexual violence to go on to enact further sexual violence against more women, and then was reluctant to even do something as basic as excluding a known rapist from their group because, well, he's a nice guy really, and he's been kicked out before, people have been really mean to him, he's fine if he just has someone watching him to make sure he's not raping:

Oh, but, like, she only said he raped her and no one was there to see it and it was really confusing and stuff and anyway what do you want us to do, like, treat the guy like a leper?  He got kicked out of one scene already and that was like a couple years ago and we're trying to help him change and now he's okay as long as someone keeps an eye on him at parties.

does any of this sound familiar to you?

in 2015, Charity Heartscape/porpentine's Hot Allostatic Load is published online. it is a deeply personal essay chronicling porpentine's experience of abuse in queer/trans/feminist circles and the disposability with which porpentine and other transfems are treated by communities like those she was part of, including by other transfems:

I was threatened into not defending myself, gaslit into silence, told that people knew “things” about me that were never explained. When I asked how I could do accountability, when I said I would do whatever they wanted, they said that I was “incapable” of accountability, that my crime was unknown and my sentence was permanent. That is the point where the body starts to die.

on Tumblr and Bluesky, in 2026, enlightened transfems use "being HALed" to refer to anything from "people kicked me out of the discord server because I wouldn't stop talking about pornography" to "other transfems keep talking about all those women I assaulted and the victims won't shut up and it's an attempt to lynch me" (real thing that happened, anonsee/storyweavingspider strangled multiple women to unconsciousness and joked about it after, including referring to one of her victims as "strangulation girl", do not forget that!) while going "well none of you have considered what if someone wants to forgive a rapist 🥺what if we forgave the rapist 🥺 what about nuance for rapists 🥺"

those more embedded in these communities than I have already talked about this inclination to reference this deeply personal essay as a sort of get-out-of-any-form-of-social-consequences-whatsoever-free card:

including multiple posts of people highlighting that serial sexual abusers cite this essay to frame their exclusion from previously friendly groups for their abusive behaviour as "social murder" in a prime example of DARVO:

almost fourteen beautiful years to the day after Cliff Jerrison's blog post shoved the concept of the missing stair in front of us, Tumblr's transfeminists want you to believe, sincerely, that the act of accusation is equal to or even worse than whatever act that an individual may have committed, that by accusing someone you are trying to kill them, murder them, lynch them, that you are hurting women by accusing them of things, how dare you?

we can recognise this as what it is: dissonant wailing and flailing of "cancel culture bad!", rape culture manifest, but Woke. that's all it is. attempting to say that it is anything more is an indication that you have been blinded by the language being used to dress the Rape Culture up all nice for your consumption. you need to stop that and see it for what it is.

things do not have to be this way. this applies to your friend groups online and IRL, to your blood family, to your chosen family, to your hobby group, whatever. you do not have to tolerate those who have harmed people around you, and those who have been harmed - be it you or someone else - should not fear that "rocking the boat" will simply cause trouble and Be Mean. cause the trouble. be mean. speak loudly.

there is no individual or group of people that is entitled to your companionship. there is no individual or group of people that you have to be nice to or be friends with or tolerate. there is no individual or group of people that should make you fear telling the truth of any events that have happened or fear telling the truth of what someone has done to you.

and on a whole, not exclusively applicable to cases of sexual violence: you do not have to keep being anyone's friend for any reason. you do not need to make someone Feel Included for any reason. if they're making you uncomfortable, if they're violating boundaries, if they're acting entitled, if the friendship sucks: it's good of you to try to reason things out and explain things to someone first. but you don't have to. and if you try to and things still aren't good, you're still uncomfortable:

I'll end this on the same note that Cliff ended his blog post on:

This isn't just about individuals, either.  Everyone who says "I don't want to be a victim-blamer, but girls should know frat parties aren't safe places" is treating rape culture like a missing stair.  Everyone who says "it's an ugly fact, but only women who don't make trouble make it in this business" is treating sexual harassment like a missing stair.  Everyone who says "I don't like it either, but that's the way things are," and makes no move to question the way things are, is jumping over a missing stair somewhere. Fixing staircases is a long and difficult and uncertain process.  But let's at least stop blaming each other for not jumping well enough.

Navigating gender dysphoria? Be heard and be counted in the science.

[pt: DO NOT TAKE THIS SURVEY]

if i shouldn’t use my cane because i can sometimes technically walk without it, it would just hurt like a motherfucker then abled people should no longer be allowed to use potholders to take things out of the oven because i mean