Any window with a hammer is also an emergency exit

on e day I'm gonna wake up and suddenly be able to set daily routines and schedules and not be tired all the time#TRUE

worst part of being an adult is how often youre forced to nag. you Have to be annoying or youre never getting anything done. which is unfortunate considering how common it is to teach kids to never nag and be annoying ever

a professional i am paying money doesnt show up w zero communication and IM the one who has to feel guilty for having to call him and ask whats going on. because when i was a little kid i would get yelled at for nagging. joke world

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

repeat after me: people don’t notice the little details. i’m going to get away with it. people don’t notice the little details. i’m going to get away with it.

I think any time anyone has a migraine $2,000 should be directly deposited in their bank account as compensation

Do you have anything with that kind of texture that he can safely play with? This sounds like an understimulation issue.

Not guilty by reason of deficiency of other people’s stuff

Narratively speaking, ending this saga with the reveal that his name is Orange Sherbert was a masterstroke.

... how many hearts are in the vet office